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“I Don’t” Lists Make Possible “I Do” Lists. You Must Revise Your Life.

By Anita Mathias

raphael saint john baptist preaching NG6480 fm

John the Baptist Preaching (Raphael)

Two fiery, uncompromising men—John the Baptist and Jesus– invite us into the Kingdom of God, the Kingdom within us (Luke 17:21).

And their message is remarkably similar:“Repent for the Kingdom of heaven is near. Make straight paths for the Lord,” John says.

The first words Jesus speaks to people (as opposed to the Devil) in the Gospel of Matthew are “Repent, for the kingdom of heaven is near.” (Matthew 3:2)

“Repent – Μετανοειτε, metanoia. The verb μετανοεω  metanoia, which means turn around, turn your direction 180 degrees.

“The word may be derived from μετα meta after, and ανοια, anoia madness, which intimates that the whole life of a sinner is no other than a continued course of madness and folly: and if these are evidences of insanity: to live in a constant opposition to all the dictates of true wisdom; to wage war with his own best interests in time and eternity; to provoke and insult the living God; and, by habitual sin, to prepare himself only for a state of misery–every sinner exhibits them plentifully. It was from this notion of the word, that the Latins termed repentance resipiscentia, a growing wise again; or, according to Tertullian, restoring the mind to itself.” (Clarke’s Commentary on the Bible)

* * *

Prayer formulas have been devised to cover the essential elements of prayer, TRIP—thanksgiving, repentance, intercession or praise, or ACTS—Adoration, Contrition, Thanksgiving and Supplication.

I actually enjoy the daily discipline of repentance. It’s like moulting and shedding the baggage of sin and silliness.  It feels like going through low, narrow golden gates into the presence of God, shedding the encumbrances of stupidity, submitting my mind which can so easily wander from the path of wisdom to an inrush, a golden shower, of divine wisdom.

* * *

 Some Christian make straight paths for the Lord by creating “I Don’t Lists” to free time to seek God instead of being “crazy-busy.” Check out Shauna Niequist’s or Mary DeMuth’s or Ann Lamott’s.

These lists, which can seem prideful, have humility at their heart. You recognise your limitations, you recognise that you are not going to be able to do what God has called you to do if you try to do everything. You realise that, like most people, you can, at most, do one or two things well, and so you focus.

* * *

Here is my list, formulated through trial and error, through doing the opposite, and wearing myself out.

What I Don’t Do

1)   I barely cook. I have never learned to. I am an hit-or-miss cook. And a messy one. Fortunately, for me, too, my husband Roy is an excellent cook.

2)   I don’t clean. At all. We do have a splendid cleaner, and have weekly four hour cleans.

3)   I don’t enter stores!! Roy buys groceries. I buy clothes, books, and everything else I need online. And I shop on a definitely-needed basis (except for books), refusing to look at catalogues or websites unless I am looking for something definite. No frivolous shopping any more. I strictly limit the new clothes I buy, and try to wear out or give away the clothes I have before buying more.

4)   I don’t volunteer at my children’s schools. At all. I did some when Zoe was little for the joy it gave her, but I did not enjoy the experience, and would rather relate to my kids one-on-one.

5)   I don’t do gyms any more, but use exercise as a secret spring within my body to give me energy when I am mentally tired, or physically sluggish. So I walk or run or lift hand weights or do yoga for quick energy when I am tired between writing sessions.

6)   I don’t take meals round for people. I did do that for several women who were ill or had babies, but the sight of the husband lolling with the remote control while we rushed there with their dinner was too galling. Men are not genetically incapable of boiling spaghetti, grating cheese and chopping  a salad, and women should not impose on the good will of other women by asking for meals to be brought around in an age of grocery stores with healthy cooked meals and delivery services. Rant over.

6B I resent the trivia churches decide is women’s work. I resist calls on women to serve coffee at church breakfasts, hot cross buns at Easter and mulled wine at Christmas. Men can heft a decanter of coffee or mulled wine as well as I –or better. Flowers, altar linen, laying out the elements—nah!!

7) I don’t “do” Christmas. I treat it as a time for rest.

What I Do Do

1) I do pray every day.

Now, don’t be impressed. Without it (and often, in spite of it) I lose my way, get depressed, forget my priorities, get angry about silly things (notice my rant about meals), waste my time, waste my life.

Experiment with prayer to find how long works for you. Works? Gives you a sense of peace, joy, strength, love and energy. For me, with a monkey mind which takes a while to settle, I like to spend at least 30 minutes resting, “soaking” in God’s presence.

2) I pretty much read or listen to my Bible every day. It is sharper than a double-edged sword, and many small tweaks in my daily life spring from my daily Bible reading. For instance, last term, a friend was getting on my nerves, and the Book of James helped me bite back my urge to confide my annoyance in other friends, and listening to 1 John on repeat helped me to see the good in her, and consider how I could act lovingly towards her.

3 I write every day, aiming for at least an hour,

4 I read every day

5 I exercise pretty much every day as much for mental health as well as for physical health.

6 And I nap almost every day. That’s how I manage to wake up early.

7 We have a sit-down family dinner seven days a week, and family lunches at weekends.

7B I spend time with friends twice or three times a week

8 I garden every day when the weather is good, less frequently in bad weather.

Gosh, how much I had to cut to get this into place, and how much more there is to cut. Anne Lamott again: Every single day I try to figure out something I no longer agree to do. You get to change your mind—your parents may have accidentally forgotten to mention this to you. I cross one thing off the list of projects I mean to get done that day.  Am working now on limiting Facebook and Twitter.

How about you? What’s on your “I Don’t list”, and on your “I Do list?”

Blog Through the Bible: Matt 3-4

Jan 2, Matt 1-2 God Comes to Those Who Dare to be Different: Do Not Be Afraid

 

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Filed Under: Blog Through The Bible Project, Matthew

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Comments

  1. Don says

    January 6, 2013 at 9:19 pm

    A beautifully simple and freeing view of repentance. “I Don’t Do” in order to make room for “I Do”: how brilliant!  Reminds me of Isaiah 35:15 [In repentance and rest is your salvation,

        in quietness and trust is your strength]. 
    There’s rest and freedom that results from repentance. My “old” self thinks of repentance only in connection with the “I Don’t” part, but if I learn to think of it in this positive way it’s the way to reclaim my true life.

    However, it begs the question, “What things belong in the “I don’t” and “I do” categories? To avoid falling into the trap of making this into law, rather than grace, I find it important to listen to what Jesus tells me, day by day. If I hear his command to do or not do something, I also receive his grace to obey.

    • Anita Mathias says

      January 7, 2013 at 9:01 pm

      Hi Don, Yes, of course, these I do and I don’t lists need to be set in prayer, and will vary person by person. For instance, Shauna, the writer I quoted, doesn’t garden, but does cook. I do the reverse.
      For me, stress and distress and a lack of joy could signal I am doing too much, and then I prune what I can 🙂

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anita.mathias

Writer, Blogger, Reader, Mum. Christian. Instaing Oxford, travel, gardens and healthy meals. Oxford English alum. Writing memoir. Lives in Oxford, UK

Images from walks around Oxford. #beauty #oxford # Images from walks around Oxford. #beauty #oxford #walking #tranquility #naturephotography #nature
So we had a lovely holiday in the Southwest. And h So we had a lovely holiday in the Southwest. And here we are at one of the world’s most famous and easily recognisable sites.
#stonehenge #travel #england #prehistoric England #family #druids
And I’ve blogged https://anitamathias.com/2020/09/13/on-not-wasting-a-desert-experience/
So, after Paul the Apostle's lightning bolt encounter with the Risen Christ on the road to Damascus, he went into the desert, he tells us...
And there, he received revelation, visions, and had divine encounters. The same Judean desert, where Jesus fasted for forty days before starting his active ministry. Where Moses encountered God. Where David turned from a shepherd to a leader and a King, and more, a man after God’s own heart.  Where Elijah in the throes of a nervous breakdown hears God in a gentle whisper. 
England, where I live, like most of the world is going through a desert experience of continuing partial lockdowns. Covid-19 spreads through human contact and social life, and so we must refrain from those great pleasures. We are invited to the desert, a harsh place where pruning can occur, and spiritual fruitfulness.
A plague like this has not been known for a hundred years... John Piper, after his cancer diagnosis, exhorted people, “Don’t Waste Your Cancer”—since this was the experience God permitted you to have, and He can bring gold from it. Pandemics and plagues are permitted (though not willed or desired) by a Sovereign God, and he can bring life-change out of them. 
Let us not waste this unwanted, unchosen pandemic, this opportunity for silence, solitude and reflection. Let’s not squander on endless Zoom calls—or on the internet, which, if not used wisely, will only raise anxiety levels. Let’s instead accept the invitation to increased silence and reflection
Let's use the extra free time that many of us have long coveted and which has now been given us by Covid-19 restrictions to seek the face of God. To seek revelation. To pray. 
And to work on those projects of our hearts which have been smothered by noise, busyness, and the tumult of people and parties. To nurture the fragile dreams still alive in our hearts. The long-deferred duty or vocation
So, we are about eight weeks into lockdown, and I So, we are about eight weeks into lockdown, and I have totally sunk into the rhythm of it, and have got quiet, very quiet, the quietest spell of time I have had as an adult.
I like it. I will find going back to the sometimes frenetic merry-go-round of my old life rather hard. Well, I doubt I will go back to it. I will prune some activities, and generally live more intentionally and mindfully.
I have started blocking internet of my phone and laptop for longer periods of time, and that has brought a lot of internal quiet and peace.
Some of the things I have enjoyed during lockdown have been my daily long walks, and gardening. Well, and reading and working on a longer piece of work.
Here are some images from my walks.
And if you missed it, a blog about maintaining peace in the middle of the storm of a global pandemic
https://anitamathias.com/2020/05/04/a-mind-of-life-and-peace/  #walking #contemplating #beauty #oxford #pandemic
A few walks in Oxford in the time of quarantine. A few walks in Oxford in the time of quarantine.  We can maintain a mind of life and peace during this period of lockdown by being mindful of our minds, and regulating them through meditation; being mindful of our bodies and keeping them happy by exercise and yoga; and being mindful of our emotions in this uncertain time, and trusting God who remains in charge. A new blog on maintaining a mind of life and peace during lockdown https://anitamathias.com/2020/05/04/a-mind-of-life-and-peace/
In the days when one could still travel, i.e. Janu In the days when one could still travel, i.e. January 2020, which seems like another life, all four of us spent 10 days in Malta. I unplugged, and logged off social media, so here are some belated iphone photos of a day in Valetta.
Today, of course, there’s a lockdown, and the country’s leader is in intensive care.
When the world is too much with us, and the news stresses us, moving one’s body, as in yoga or walking, calms the mind. I am doing some Yoga with Adriene, and again seeing the similarities between the practice of Yoga and the practice of following Christ.
https://anitamathias.com/2020/04/06/on-yoga-and-following-jesus/
#valleta #valletamalta #travel #travelgram #uncagedbird
Images from some recent walks in Oxford. I am copi Images from some recent walks in Oxford.
I am coping with lockdown by really, really enjoying my daily 4 mile walk. By savouring the peace of wild things. By trusting that God will bring good out of this. With a bit of yoga, and weights. And by working a fair amount in my garden. And reading.
How are you doing?
#oxford #oxfordinlockdown #lockdown #walk #lockdownwalks #peace #beauty #happiness #joy #thepeaceofwildthings
Images of walks in Oxford in this time of social d Images of walks in Oxford in this time of social distancing. The first two are my own garden.  And I’ve https://anitamathias.com/2020/03/28/silver-and-gold-linings-in-the-storm-clouds-of-coronavirus/ #corona #socialdistancing #silverlinings #silence #solitude #peace
Trust: A Message of Christmas He came to earth in Trust: A Message of Christmas  He came to earth in a  splash of energy
And gentleness and humility.
That homeless baby in the barn
Would be the lynchpin on which history would ever after turn
Who would have thought it?
But perhaps those attuned to God’s way of surprises would not be surprised.
He was already at the centre of all things, connecting all things. * * *
Augustus Caesar issued a decree which brought him to Bethlehem,
The oppressions of colonialism and conquest brought the Messiah exactly where he was meant to be, the place prophesied eight hundred years before his birth by the Prophet Micah.
And he was already redeeming all things. The shame of unwed motherhood; the powerlessness of poverty.
He was born among animals in a barn, animals enjoying the sweetness of life, animals he created, animals precious to him.
For he created all things, and in him all things hold together
Including stars in the sky, of which a new one heralded his birth
Drawing astronomers to him.
And drawing him to the attention of an angry King
As angelic song drew shepherds to him.
An Emperor, a King, scholars, shepherds, angels, animals, stars, an unwed mother
All things in heaven and earth connected
By a homeless baby
The still point on which the world still turns. The powerful centre. The only true power.
The One who makes connections. * * *
And there is no end to the wisdom, the crystal glints of the Message that birth brings.
To me, today, it says, “Fear not, trust me, I will make a way.” The baby lay gentle in the barn
And God arranges for new stars, angelic song, wise visitors with needed finances for his sustenance in the swiftly-coming exile, shepherds to underline the anointing and reassure his parents. “Trust me in your dilemmas,” the baby still says, “I will make a way. I will show it to you.” Happy Christmas everyone.  https://anitamathias.com/2019/12/24/trust-a-message-of-christmas/ #christmas #gemalderieberlin #trust #godwillmakeaway
Look, I’ve designed a journal. It’s an omnibus Look, I’ve designed a journal. It’s an omnibus Gratitude journal, habit tracker, food and exercise journal, bullet journal, with time sheets, goal sheets and a Planner. Everything you’d like to track.  Here’s a post about it with ISBNs https://anitamathias.com/2019/12/23/life-changing-journalling/. Check it out. I hope you and your kids like it!
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