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We only really master some spiritual truths by doing!

By Anita Mathias


  

My twenties were an amazing decade. Likewise, my forties. (In my thirties, I had babies!)

In my twenties, besides moving to the UK and then the US, getting married, and earning two degrees, I

1   1)   learned to ride a bike, aged 22.
     2)   learned to swim, aged 25.
     3)  learned to drive a car, aged 29.
     4) learned to touch-type–and fast, aged 29.
Yeah, a late developer.
Generally, I do everything by books. Whether it’s hosting a children’s birthday party, gardening, or running a house, I tend to first buy three books on the subject which I quickly skim-read.
But for these achievements of my twenties—cycling, swimming, driving, typing—no amount of book learning would help. I just had to get in the pool, on the bike, behind the wheel, and do it.
·      * * *
The truly life-transformational insights of my forties have been these.

1   1) That God loves me. That I can rest in his love. That I don’t need to do anything.
     
     2) Learning to hear the voice of the Holy Spirit.  That when I am running ragged, I just need to stop and rest and wait for the filling of the Holy Spirit.   
     
    3) The Spiritual Passive Voice. Waiting. Trusting. Resting. Abiding. Not striving, but resting on the faithful one.
4)Allow God to worry about my worries.
One can’t really learn these transformative spiritual practices from books. Or lectures from those who have mastered them–though these have helped me.
We can only learn them by “doing,”– resting in God, experiencing him, asking him to fill us with his Spirit.
Just hanging out with God.
They have to be caught, from the Father and the Spirit and Jesus—and then practised. They cannot really be taught. We learn them by doing them.
How about you? What has been spiritually transformational for you in the last decade? How did you learn it?



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Filed Under: In which I explore the Spiritual Life

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  1. Anita Mathias says

    August 30, 2012 at 10:02 pm

    Hi Dana, I am a full-time writer too, though the writing isn't supporting the family.

    When we needed additional income, I started a business unrelated to my writing to pay the bills. I read about Dostoevsky who frantically wrote books to pay his bills, and sadly wished I had the guts to do that. But I lacked the faith and energy to even try to write to pay bills, and indeed the stress might have been too much for me.

    Now, aspects of my writing bring in small sums money on a weekly, sometimes daily basis, and it's so exciting!!

    Making a living as a writer is a dream few realize, and I salute you for your courage!!

  2. Dana Rongione says

    August 29, 2012 at 7:31 pm

    After leaving my job as a teacher and embarking on a new career as a full-time writer, I was forced to find out what it truly means to live by faith. I didn't know from where or when my next paycheck would come. I had no idea if I could or would make it as a writer. There have been many mountains and many valleys over the past decade, but through it all I've learned that when Jesus is all that I have, He's all that I need! I haven't arrived yet in my spiritual journey, but I'm finally learning to enjoy the ride.

    A Word Fitly Spoken
    http://danarongione.blogspot.com

  3. Anita Mathias says

    August 29, 2012 at 4:20 pm

    Thanks, Rachel. I too have learned some dark things in the last decade, specifically the stuff in the link I sent you, and on the same lines as you mention.

    But, as you allude to, strength does come out of those places of weakness and suffering:-)

  4. Rachel says

    August 29, 2012 at 3:38 pm

    The last decade? I have learned about friendships. Specifically: loss, betrayal, hypocrisy and gossip. Also abuse, depression, grief and many of my own weaknesses. However, with all of that I have learned what it is like to lurch forward into darkness and feel God catch me. Over and over.

  5. Anita Mathias says

    August 29, 2012 at 6:34 am

    Thanks Penelope. That sounds like a very difficult lesson.

    Your ministry through blogging, social media and leading pilgrimages may well reach even more people than the ordained ministry which has been temporarily laid down. And who knows what God will do in the next decade of your rich and fruitful life!

  6. Penelope Swithinbank says

    August 28, 2012 at 9:54 pm

    This has really made me think … because in the past decade I have been given a new (Ordained, priestly) ministry in which I was privileged to see the Lord powerfully at work in others; and then had it almost, or mostly, removed from me for a while. And in the giving and the taking, the Lord has taught me that it is HIS ministry, not mine. And I have had to learn to say “the Lord gives and the Lord takes away – blessed be the name of the Lord.” It is as though I have had to learn to hold it out on the palm of my hand so that He can pour out blessing or not, as HE chooses; and not to try to grab tight hold of it (for fear of losing it or for wanting to call it mine). It is all from Him and all for Him – and when and where is His choice.
    Thank you for helping me to look back and 'see' the lesson of the past decade, Anita.

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  • Don’t Walk Away From Jesus, but if You Do, He Still Looks at You and Loves You
  • How to Find the Freedom of Forgiveness
  • The Silver Coin in the Mouth of a Fish. Never Underestimate God!
  • Following Jesus Is Costly and the Very Best Thing We Can Do
  • Persistent Prayer Turns Christ’s Silence, His “No,” and “Absolutely Not” to “YES!”
  • Grab Christ’s Hand When You Are Sinking
  • How to Find Life-Changing Hidden Treasure
  • The Spirit Helps Us Speak Creative Words of Energy and Life
  • Jesus Promises Us Rest (and an Easy Yoke!)
  • Believing Is Seeing (Miracles): “According to Your Faith, Let It Be Done to You.”
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https://anitamathias.com/2023/09/07/how-to-find-th https://anitamathias.com/2023/09/07/how-to-find-the-freedom-of-forgiveness/
How to Find the Freedom of Forgiveness
Letting go on anger and forgiving is both an emotional transaction & a decision of the will. We discover we cannot command our emotions to forgive and relinquish anger. So how do we find the space and clarity of forgiveness in our mind, spirit & emotions?
When tormenting memories surface, our cortisol, adrenaline, blood pressure, and heart rate all rise. It’s good to take a literally quick walk with Jesus, to calm this neurological and physiological storm. And then honestly name these emotions… for feelings buried alive never die.
Then, in a process called “the healing of memories,” mentally visualise the painful scene, seeing Christ himself there, his eyes brimming with compassion. Ask Christ to heal the sting, to draw the poison from these memories of experiences. We are caterpillars in a ring of fire, as Martin Luther wrote--unable to rescue ourselves. We need help from above.
Accept what happened. What happened, happened. Then, as the Apostle Paul advises, give thanks in everything, though not for everything. Give thanks because God can bring good out of the swindle and the injustice. Ask him to bring magic and beauty from the ashes.
If, like the persistent widow Jesus spoke of, you want to pray for justice--that the swindler and the abusers’ characters are revealed, so many are protected, then do so--but first, purify your own life.
And now, just forgive. Say aloud, I forgive you for … You are setting a captive free. Yourself. Come alive. Be free. 
And when memories of deep injuries arise, say: “No. No. Not going there.” Stop repeating the devastating story to yourself or anyone else. Don’t waste your time & emotional energy, nor let yourself be overwhelmed by anger at someone else’s evil actions. Don’t let the past poison today. Refuse to allow reinjury. Deliberately think instead of things noble, lovely, admirable, excellent, and praiseworthy.
So keep trying, in obedience, to forgive, to let go of your anger until you suddenly realise that you have forgiven, and can remember past events without agitation. God be with us!
https://anitamathias.com/2023/08/16/the-silver-coi https://anitamathias.com/2023/08/16/the-silver-coin-in-the-mouth-of-a-fish-never-underestimate-god/
I've recorded a podcast on how Jesus guided Peter to find the necessary tax money in a fish.
The Silver Coin in the Mouth of a Fish. Never Underestimate God
So the taxman comes for Peter: Does Jesus pay the voluntary,
but expected tax for the upkeep of the grand temple and its
priests)? And, as he often does, Jesus asks Peter what he thinks because as a friend, he's interested,and as a brilliant teacher, he wants Peter to think for himself..
Sons do not pay tax to their fathers, they both agree. 
Then, Christ,who repeatedly referred to his powerful body
as God’s temple on earth, decides to pay temple tax anyway
to avoid a skandalon, offence.
And Jesus instructs Peter to cast a line and a hook–as amateur
fishermen did–insulting for a professional with boats and nets.
And Christ again demonstrates that he knows best even in Peter’s
one area of professional expertise. And Christ knows best in our
areas of giftedness. His call often involves working just outside
our zone of competence, forcing us to function with the magic of
God’s spirit and energy. The grain of pride must die for resurrection.
And Peter finds silver in a fish. When you lack the money to fulfil
the dream God has placed in your heart, do not rule out His
wonder-working power. Pray for God’s miraculous provision, or
for Christ’s surprising strategies to create wealth, rather than work
yourself to a breakdown, or manipulate or use others to get money.
Will God tell us, on request, which fish in the multitudinous seas
has swallowed silver? He sometimes might, for he hates waste. But
not always. Tim Keller writes, “People think if God has called
you to something, he’s promising you success. But He might be
calling you to fail to prepare you for something else through the failure.
To work all night and catch nothing, as Peter did, strengthens our
character and endurance so that we are capable of becoming fishers of
humans, and, if God pleases, sometimes, perhaps even fishers of money.
Hi, I've recorded a new podcast. Here's the link. Hi, I've recorded a new podcast. Here's the link. https://anitamathias.com/2023/08/06/following-jesus-is-costly-and-the-very-best-thing-we-can-do/
Jesus is blazingly honest about the cost of following him. It’s our most brilliant, golden choice, though it does mean we can no longer follow ourselves. We dance instead to his other-worldly, life-changing music, asking at each transition point of our day or life, “Jesus, what is your assignment? How do I do it your way?” 
For me (descriptive, not prescriptive), shouldering my cross includes eliminating sugar and starchy carbs (to lose excess weight!), not watching TV (extreme!), keep my house and garden organised and pretty enough. And, also, taming anger and outspokenness! And refusing to sing a song of worry, or linger in anger, training myself to sing instead a song of trust, praise, and gratitude. 
While following Jesus is electric, and joyful, following
ourselves could entail ruining our health with addictive foods, caffeine,overwork, or the siren-call of our phones. Following Jesus does not mean relinquishing our goals and ambitions, but surrendering them to Him. We do not own
our work; God does. And so, we must repent when we overwork, get too intense about success, or try to impress others with it. For competitive cravings for success, fame, money,
or popularity wreck relationships, and mental, spiritual, and physical health, and never satisfy, for the ladder of success has no end, and climbing it means exhausting ourselves for nothing. We’re still restless.
You have made us for yourself, Oh Lord, and our hearts are restless until they find their rest in you, St. Augustine wrote. If we do not try to obey the Great Commandment: to love God, and Christ’s second commandment:  to love our neighbour as ourselves, we could, one day,open the treasure box of our lives and find only ashes. Nothing!
C.S. Lewis: “Give up yourself, and you will find your real self. Nothing in you that has not died will ever be raised from the dead. Look for yourself, and you will find only hatred, loneliness, despair, rage, ruin, and decay. But look for Christ and you will find Him, and with Him everything else thrown in.”
https://anitamathias.com/2023/07/19/persistent-pra https://anitamathias.com/2023/07/19/persistent-prayer-turns-christs-silence-his-no-and-absolutely-not-to-yes/
So, a Syro-Phoenician woman comes to Jesus, crying out,
“Lord, have mercy on me. My daughter is suffering terribly.” But 
Jesus remains silent. Undeterred, she keeps crying out.
And Jesus snubs her: “I was sent only to the lost
sheep of Israel.” But she can’t believe “No” could be
his final word. “Lord, help me,” she says simply. And
then, a crushing rebuff. “It is not right to take
the children’s bread and toss it to the dogs.” But hitting
rock bottom makes your prayers strangely powerful. “Yes,
it is right, Lord,” she contradicts him, “Even dogs eat crumbs
that fall.” Dogs, hungry, humble, grateful, happy.
And Jesus praises her dogged faith 
which catalyses the miracle she longs for. 
He says, "Your request is granted.” 
Never passively accept any apparently intractable situations.
Reality is infinitely malleable in the hands of God. We pray,
and people change, circumstances change. We change. So
keep praying until little drops of the kindness of God
soften and change the impossible situation and your heart. 
Take your little mustard seed of mountain-moving faith,
and pray, seeing the kind Jesus in your mind’s eye.
Continue praying, past God’s silence, his “No,” and “Absolutely Not,” 
until Christ, charmed, says, “Yes. It’s time! Go, girl, go. This way.”
Dream big and wide like childless Abraham stepping outside,
dazzled by an immensity of stars, and believing God’s power
could give him as many descendants. But don’t waste your
passion and dream-energy. Pray for things that will bring you
joy, yes, but will also bless myriad others, creating something,
in Milton’s phrase, that the world will not willingly let die.
Each of Jesus’s prayers were not answered affirmatively; neither
will each of our requests be granted. We are not wise enough
to know what best to pray for. But prayer, incredibly, does change
things. So keep praying for the shimmering dream which makes
your heart burn and quiver; pray past apparent impossibility until
the heavens open, the Spirit descends, and you live
and create with God’s spirit energising and filling you.
https://anitamathias.com/2023/07/08/grab-christs-h https://anitamathias.com/2023/07/08/grab-christs-hand-when-you-are-sinking/
LINK in profile
Hi friends, I’ve recorded a podcast meditation. Pls listen should you have time.
Sometimes, the little boat of your life is tossed in the darkness, in a storm-swept lake, far from shore,
And a dark figure looms, walking on water, and you cannot see his face, and you do not know his name, and you are terrified.
And in the encircling gloom, Christ always speaks the same magnificent words, “Take courage. It is I. Do not be afraid.”
He comes to us in the darkness, a future that looks bleak, with unsolvable relational difficulties or financial difficulties, or when intellect, energy, and organisation feel puny, matched with our dreams and calling. But it is Christ. Do not be afraid.
And Peter, the risk-taker, from an overabundance of love and impulsivity, says, “Lord, if it’s you, tell me to come to you on the water.” And Jesus speaks another of his great words, “Come.”
Jesus, the merciful, did not ask Peter to do something that transcended the humanly possible and Peter’s faith, but
since Peter wanted to get to Jesus as quickly as possible, and to do whatever Jesus did, he gives him permission to walk on water.
We sometimes yearn to do things for which we know we don’t have the money, time, abundant gifting, or even the character. Never begin them before you’ve prayed, “Lord, tell me to do it.” And if he says, “Come,” start tackling the impossibility, immediately.
And Peter walks on water, until he sees the almost visible wind, is afraid, and begins to sink. Fear paralyses, sinks, and destroys.
And Peter prays a powerful prayer, “Lord, save me.” And immediately, Jesus reaches out his hand and catches him, scolding, “Oligopistos. You of little faith. Why did you doubt?”
And the wind dies down, and Peter learns to keep his eyes on Jesus and his power when he attempts the impossible, and to cry out for Jesus’s help when he begins to sink.
Help us, Jesus, you who control the wind and waves, and all things, when we are sinking in the darkness, and all seems impossible. Tell the wind to be quiet.
Take my hand, precious Lord. Lead me on. Let me stand. Amen.
https://anitamathias.com/2023/07/01/how-to-find-li https://anitamathias.com/2023/07/01/how-to-find-life-changing-hidden-treasure/
Podcast link in profile
Hi Friends, I've recorded a new podcast meditation on Jesus's statement that following him is like discovering priceless treasure hidden in a field. The finder would joyfully sell everything to buy it, as should we!
Jesus speaks of living in the Kingdom of God, living with him as our High King and Lord, as a treasure, worth selling everything we have to gain.
He describes it as experiencing peace, joy, and operating in the power of the Holy Spirit.
As literally selling everything we have would take time, so too will adjusting our lives to living in Christ's invisible Kingdom.
It requires a slow, steady but definite adjustment of each area of our lives: relationships, what we read and watch, consumption and production of social media, travel, leisure, our spending and giving, time spent on food prep and exercise, on prayer and scripture, on reading and the news, on home and garden maintenance, on church activities and volunteering. Some of us will spend less time on these, others will spend more, for we each have a unique shape and calling.
Entering into the kingdom of God is a very individual pilgrim's progress; we each have a different starting point. Rick Warren of The Purpose Driven Life suggests that those seeking to change anything change their bodies first, by getting their exercise and diet under control... which is where I am starting!!
While following Christ is costly, for sure, it's costlier to follow what Tim Keller called Counterfeit Gods --“money, the seduction of success, the power and the glory,” climbing a cruel ladder which has no end, and never satisfies for long. 
In a remarkable account, Bill Bright, founder of Cru, describes his surrender to God as abandoning his puny little plans for God's magnificent plans. Once done, he said the future seemed brighter than ever before... And it undoubtedly was! Jesus's promise that the things the unbelieving world chases will added to those who seek his Kingdom first came true in Bright’s life, as it will in ours as we pursue Christ.
I’ve seen these Pre-Raphaelite paintings in Tate I’ve seen these Pre-Raphaelite paintings in Tate Britain several times, and they delight me each time. What a gorgeous museum!
And here is this week’s podcast meditation-- https://anitamathias.com/2023/06/18/the-spirit-helps-us-speak-creative-words-of-energy-and-life/ (link in Instagram bio)
On how we need the Spirit’s help to speak creative words of energy and life, not darkness and devastation.
I’ve recorded a new podcast. Link in bio https:/ I’ve recorded a new podcast. Link in bio https://anitamathias.com/2023/06/18/the-spirit-helps-us-speak-creative-words-of-energy-and-life/
(The scriptural meditation begins at 6:01.)
Words--can light a fire of inspiration within us, warm, enlighten, delight. 
They can also "set the whole course of one's life on fire," as the Apostle James dramatically says, destroying precious friendships and relationships.
How do we ensure our words bring light, not darkness? We need the Scriptural promise in Ezekiel of the new heart and the new spirit. We need the Spirit making all things new within us, with his fruits of love, joy peace, gentleness, and wisdom.  A new personality!!
We can accelerate our experience of the Spirit through ancient practices like breath prayers, breathing out our stress, breathing in "Come Holy Spirit." And practices like taking a longish pause before we respond with negative or critical words or emails. These practices calm ,and alter our entire neurology.
Images from a Pissarro exhibition I went to at the Images from a Pissarro exhibition I went to at the Ashmolean, last year, today.
Lovely, aren’t they?
And if you’d like to listen or read a podcast meditation on Jesus’ paradoxical invitation to find rest by bearing his yoke… here it is: 
https://anitamathias.com/2023/06/05/jesus-promises-us-rest-and-an-easy-yoke/
Rest by seeking his guidance and following it. Walking at the slow, steady, focused, unambitious pace of one with a yoke on his neck. But walking at a pace which will get the job done.
And finding peace by being gentle and humble like Jesus—which, for us fiery ones, will only happen as we received the Holy Spirit’s promised “power from on high.”
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