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Calvinism is Clever, but Would Jesus Recognise it?

By Anita Mathias

File:John Calvin Titian B.jpg
Calvin, by Titian
Calvin—Okay, I have summarized Christianity: Total depravity, unconditional election, limited atonement, irresistible grace, perseverance of the saints.
Jesus–Excuse me, I am not sure I understand you.
Calvin–You know, TULIP, what you taught.
Jesus—What I taught? I am sorry, but I don’t understand a word of it.
Calvin, scratching head–Stop joking, Jesus. This is serious. Why, haven’t you seen John Piper, my hyper-follower’s brilliant 221 word summary of Christianity—which is all about you, you know?
God is the sovereign, transcendent and personal God who has made the universe, including us, his image-bearers. Our misery lies in our rebellion, our alienation from God, which, despite his forbearance, attracts his implacable wrath. 
But God, precisely because love is of the very essence of his character, takes the initiative and prepared for the coming of his own Son by raising up a people who, by covenantal stipulations, temple worship, systems of sacrifice and of priesthood, by kings and by prophets, are taught something of what God is planning and what he expects. 
In the fullness of time his Son comes and takes on human nature. He comes not, in the first instance, to judge but to save: he dies the death of his people, rises from the grave and, in returning to his heavenly Father, bequeaths the Holy Spirit as the down payment and guarantee of the ultimate gift he has secured for them—an eternity of bliss in the presence of God himself, in a new heaven and a new earth, the home of righteousness. 
The only alternative is to be shut out from the presence of this God forever, in the torments of hell. What men and women must do, before it is too late, is repent and trust Christ; the alternative is to disobey the gospel.
Jesus—I taught all that?
Calvin—Stop it, Jesus. What did you teach then?
Jesus—But why didn’t you read the Gospels, if you wanted to know? Here are 221 words I remember saying,
I came not to call the righteous but sinners; not to judge the world, but to save it. 
Repent and believe the good news.
“Love the Lord your God with all your heart, soul and mind. Love your neighbour as yourself.” All the Law and the Prophets hang on these two commandments.
Don’t be afraid. Do not worry about anything at all.  Peace I give you. Do not let your hearts be troubled. Trust in God; trust also in me. 
I teach so that my joy may be in you, and your joy may be full.
When you stand praying, if you hold anything against anyone, forgive him, so that your Father in heaven may forgive you your sins.
If you have faith as small as a mustard seed, nothing will be impossible for you.
He who eats my flesh and drinks my blood lives in me, and I in him.
Take and drink; this is my blood of the covenant which is poured out for many for the forgiveness of sins. Do this in memory of me.
My Father will give you another counsellor—the Spirit of Truth.  He will be with you and in you. You will receive power when the Holy Spirit comes on you.
Go into all the world and preach the good news to all creation.
Calvin—That’s far too simple. That’s how a blogger would write. But we are theologians, you and I.
Jesus—No, just you. I spoke to be understood.

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Filed Under: In which I play in the fields of Theology

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Comments

  1. Miss Mollie says

    July 17, 2012 at 2:36 am

    Romans 3, especially verse 10.

  2. Anita Mathias says

    July 16, 2012 at 10:58 am

    Yes, theologies which make people cold, self-righteous, proud, arrogant, sure of themselves and disdainful of others move further and further away from the gentle, humble spirit of Jesus!

    Mary McCarthy had a great line, “Religion is only good for good people.”

  3. rey jacobs says

    July 16, 2012 at 1:52 am

    The gospels present Jesus constantly getting into it with the scribes and Pharisees, you know, the religious leaders. Who are those guys today? The Calvinists I suppose, they're the loudmouthed religious leaders and whenever we (in America anyhow) think of a loudmouthed obnoxious religious leader like a scribe or a Pharisee its the Calvinists to be sure. So, obviously, Jesus was blow holes in their orthodoxy just as he did the Pharisees.

  4. Anita Mathias says

    July 12, 2012 at 9:10 pm

    Hi Sipech,
    Yes, summaries are necessarily reductive, and show our biases!

    LA, Love this paragraph from your comment,
    “whether or not being able to *define* God and his plan for our salvation really matters to my faith, or whether allowing him to be mysterious and his ways to be mysterious is good enough for me. I think I like God to be undefined, mysterious and full of love and for me to be flawed, human and struggling but loving as best as I can.”

    Indeed!

  5. Sipech says

    July 11, 2012 at 4:38 pm

    I think there's good reason that the bible isn't presented as a systematic theology: it's not meant to be one!

    Any attempt to summarise it, whether it be in 220 word summaries, creeds, statements of belief, doctrinal bases, etc. is bound to miss something out.

    That's not to say that either of the views you show above are wrong; it's just that neither of them are complete.

    I think of the bible as a really big picture (probably an oil painting). You might be able to give a rough description, but such summaries are like trying to take a photo with a really low resolution camera.

    To get the whole picture, you need the *whole picture* even if you may think some parts aren't as interesting or relevant as others.

  6. LA says

    July 11, 2012 at 3:28 pm

    Until I started reading this one American blog, I thought that I kinda “knew” the various camps and generally how they differed from one another. But I simply had no earthly clue that there would be such discussion on minutiae. There are 3-point Arminians and 4-point Arminians and the full-blown 5-point Arminians and then then ever-faithful Calvinists, and pelagianism and semi-pelagianists and Weslyans, and every other variation under the sun.

    For a while, I posted comments that boiled down to “Isn't it all about loving one another and loving God and the rest is up to God's Grace?” and “we'll find out when we're dead all the answers to our questions, until then, just do our best to follow God's commandments.” Boy, did I get flamed. One ungracious reader replied to me “Have you seriously read any part of the actual Bible?” I replied that I had actually read the entire thing several times, especially the part where Jesus says “Love one another…on this one commandment hangs all the law and the prophets.” I thought that boiled the whole thing down rather nicely. That spurred on a flurry of replies that created great confusion in me regarding salvation.

    Where I landed is that I need to sort out first whether or not being able to *define* God and his plan for our salvation really matters to my faith, or whether allowing him to be mysterious and his ways to be mysterious is good enough for me. I think I like God to be undefined, mysterious and full of love and for me to be flawed, human and struggling but loving as best as I can.

    But then there's the geek in me that's always drawn to a good theoretical disagreement :). Lacking directly provable empirical data, however, is a stumbling block for me…so it's back to undefined and mysterious – LOL.

  7. Anita Mathias says

    July 11, 2012 at 8:48 am

    Lol. Bree, it was a serious point I sketched roughly and lightly to get people thinking:-)

  8. Bree (Woman Friday) says

    July 10, 2012 at 10:57 pm

    Cute script, but not entirely honest. If you're boiling both “camps” down to around 220 words, then yes, you're pretty close. However, there's so much more to the Bible than either of these people's 220 words, and I think that must be taken into account. Also, I doubt Calvin would try to call Jesus a theologian, especially to his face. 🙂 On the whole, I think this post really addresses the issue that most Calvinists have: not putting love first. I think many of us (yes, I'm one of them) need to be reminded of this repeatedly.

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anita.mathias

https://anitamathias.com/.../on-using-anger-as-a-t https://anitamathias.com/.../on-using-anger-as-a-trigger.../ link in bio
Hi friends, Here's my latest podcast meditation. I'm meditating through the Gospel of Matthew.
Do not judge, Jesus says, and you too will escape harsh judgement. So once again, he reiterates a law of human life and of the natural world—sowing and reaping. 
Being an immensely practical human, Jesus realises that we are often most “triggered” when we observe our own faults in other people. And the more we dwell on the horrid traits of people we know in real life, politicians, or the media or internet-famous, the more we risk mirroring their unattractive traits. 
So, Jesus suggests that, whenever we are intensely annoyed by other people to immediately check if we have the very same fault. And to resolve to change that irritating trait in ourselves. 
Then, instead of wasting time in fruitless judging, we will experience personal change.
And as for us who have been judgey, we still live “under the mercy” in Charles Williams’ phrase. We must place the seeds we have sown into the garden of our lives so far into God’s hands and ask him to let the thistles and thorns wither and the figs and grapes bloom. May it be so!
Spring in England= Joy=Bluebells=Singing birds. I Spring in England= Joy=Bluebells=Singing birds. I love it.
Here are some images of Shotover Park, close to C. S. Lewis's house, and which inspired bits of Narnia and the Lord of the Rings. Today, however, it's covered in bluebells, and loud with singing birds.
And, friends, I've been recording weekly podcast meditations on the Gospel of Matthew. It's been fun, and challenging to settle down and think deeply, and I hope you'll enjoy them.
I'm now in the Sermon on the Mount, in which Jesus details all the things we are not to worry about at all, one of which is food--too little, or too much, too low in calories, or too high. We are, instead, to do everything we do in his way (seek first the Kingdom and its righteousness, and all this will fall into place!).
Have a listen: https://anitamathias.com/2023/05/03/do-not-worry-about-what-to-eat-jesus/ and link in bio
“See how the flowers of the field grow. They do “See how the flowers of the field grow. They do not labour or spin.  Yet I tell you that not even Solomon in all his splendour was dressed like one of these. Or a king on his coronation day.
So do not worry, saying, ‘What shall we eat?’ or ‘What shall we drink?’ or ‘What shall we wear?’ For the pagans run after all these things, and your heavenly Father knows that you need them. 33 But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well.” 
Of course, today, we are more likely to worry that sugary ultra-processed foods everywhere will lead to weight gain and compromise our health. But Jesus says, “Don’t worry,” and in the same sermon (on the mount), suggests other strategies…like fasting, which brings a blessing from God, for instance, while burning stored fat. And seeking God’s kingdom, as Jesus recommends, could involve getting fit on long solitary prayer walks, or while walking with friends, as well as while keeping up with a spare essentialist house, and a gloriously over-crowded garden. Wild birds eat intuitively and never gain weight; perhaps, the Spirit, on request, will guide us to the right foods for our metabolisms. 
I’ve recorded a meditation on these themes (with a transcript!). https://anitamathias.com/2023/05/03/do-not-worry-about-what-to-eat-jesus/
https://anitamathias.com/2023/05/03/do-not-worry-a https://anitamathias.com/2023/05/03/do-not-worry-about-what-to-eat-jesus/
Jesus advised his listeners--struggling fishermen, people living on the edge, without enough food for guests, not to worry about what they were going to eat. Which, of course, is still shiningly relevant today for many. 
However, today, with immense societal pressure to be slender, along with an obesogenic food environment, sugary and carby food everywhere, at every social occasion, Jesus’s counsel about not worrying about what we will eat takes on an additional relevance. Eat what is set about you, he advised his disciples, as they went out to preach the Gospel. In this age of diet culture and weight obsession, Jesus still shows us how to live lightly, offering strategies like fasting (which he promises brings us a reward from God). 
What would Jesus’s way of getting fitter and healthier be? Fasting? Intuitive spirit-guided eating? Obeying the great commandment to love God by praying as we walk? Listening to Scripture or excellent Christian literature as we walk, thanks to nifty headphones. And what about the second commandment, like the first—to love our neighbour as ourselves? Could we get fitter running an essentialist household? Keeping up with the garden? Walking with friends? Exercising to be fit enough to do what God has called us to do?
This meditation explores these concerns. #dietculture #jesus #sermononthemount #meditation #excercise #thegreatcommandment #dontworry 
https://anitamathias.com/2023/05/03/do-not-worry-about-what-to-eat-jesus/
Kefalonia—it was a magical island. Goats and she Kefalonia—it was a magical island. Goats and sheep with their musical bells; a general ambience of relaxation; perfect, pristine, beaches; deserted mountains to hike; miles of aimless wandering in landscapes of spring flowers. I loved it!
And, while I work on a new meditation, perhaps have a listen to this one… which I am meditating on because I need to learn it better… Jesus’s tips on how to be blessed by God, and become happy!! https://anitamathias.com/2023/04/25/happy-are-the-merciful-for-they-shall-be-shown-mercy/ #kefalonia #family #meditation #goats
So… just back from eight wonderful days in Kefal So… just back from eight wonderful days in Kefalonia. All four of us were free at the same time, so why not? Sun, goats, coves, bays, caves, baklava, olive bread, magic, deep relaxation.
I hadn’t realised that I needed a break, but having got there, I sighed deeply… and relaxed. A beautiful island.
And now… we’re back, rested. It’s always good to sink into the words of Jesus, and I just have. Here’s a meditation on Jesus’s famous Beatitudes, his statements on who is really happy or blessed, which turns our value judgements on their heads. I’d love it if you listened or read it. Thanks, friends.
https://anitamathias.com/2023/04/25/happy-are-the-merciful-for-they-shall-be-shown-mercy/
#kefalonia #beatitudes #meditation #family #sun #fun
https://anitamathias.com/2023/04/25/happy-are-the- https://anitamathias.com/2023/04/25/happy-are-the-merciful-for-they-shall-be-shown-mercy/
Meditating on a “beatitude.”… Happy, makarios, or blessed are the merciful, Jesus says, articulating the laws of sowing and reaping which underlie the universe, and human life.
Those who dish out mercy, and go through life gently and kindly, have a happier, less stressful experience of life, though they are not immune from the perils of our broken planet, human greed polluting our environment and our very cells, deceiving and swindling us. The merciless and unkind, however, sooner or later, find the darkness and trouble they dish out, haunting them in turn.
Sowing and reaping, is, of course, a terrifying message for us who have not always been kind and merciful!
But the Gospel!... the tender Fatherhood of God, the fact that the Lord Christ offered to bear the sentence, the punishment for the sins of the world-proportionate because of his sinlessness.  And in that divine exchange, streams of mercy now flow to us, slowly changing the deep structure of our hearts, minds, and characters.
And so, we can go through life gently and mercifully, relying on Jesus and his Holy Spirit to begin and complete the work of transformation in us, as we increasingly become gentle, radiant children of God.
Beautiful England. And a quick trip with Irene. A Beautiful England. And a quick trip with Irene.
And, here’s a link to a meditation I’ve recorded on the power of Christ’s resurrection, for us, today… and, as always, there’s a transcript, for those who’d rather read it.
https://anitamathias.com/2023/04/13/the-power-in-christs-resurrection-for-us-today/
#england #beautifulengland #meditation
Hi Friends, I've recorded a new meditation for Ea Hi Friends,
I've recorded a new meditation for Easter. Here's a link to the recording, and as always, there's a transcript if you'd rather read it. And I have an attempt at a summary below!!
https://anitamathias.com/2023/04/13/the-power-in-christs-resurrection-for-us-today/
“Do not be afraid,” is the first sentence the risen Christ says. Because his resurrection frees him from the boundaries of space and time, in each room we enter, Christ is with us--and his Spirit, who helps us change our hearts, our characters, and our lives. 
The seismic power which raised Christ from the dead is now available to us, for the issues of our lives, helping us conquer addictions, bad habits, and distressing character traits.
We access this dynamite power by practising prayer. We need, first of all, to slow down, and bathe and saturate our lives in prayer, praying for wisdom and blessing for, before, and during everything we do. 
And as God answers, our faith progressively increases, our characters change, and we begin to experience God’s miracles in our lives.
And a prayer:
Oh God of resurrection, 
Come with your dynamite power into our lives.
We put our old dreams and our new ones into your hands.
Bring them to life. Make them glow. 
Come like a mighty burst of spring into our lives
Bringing apparently dead relationships, dreams, 
The things we once loved, 
And all our dormant potential to radiant life.
We put our lives into your hands.
Make them beautiful.
Come Lord Jesus.
Amen
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