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Forgiveness and Creativity

By Anita Mathias


I was at a really good Bible study yesterday at St. Andrew’s, Oxford–the sort of group that I would have put together if I were able to put together the ideal women’s group for me. I have been in many small groups through my two + decades as a Christian; this one is closest to the one which, rightly or wrongly, I would have chosen could I have assembled it.

Though the effect the study had on me this morning was more of a Spirit-lightning kind of thing. So mere words may not be able to convey the sort of lightning effect it had.

We looked at the parable of the unmerciful servant, reproduced below if you’d like a refresher. 
                                 * * * 

It was as if I had got it for the first time. Everything is forgiven me. And so I need to forgive.

God forgives us the mass of sins and wrongdoing we have accumulated though our life, 10,000 talents worth. Ten thousand was the highest number the Greek could count up to, and the denarius was the highest value coin they knew.

None of us, perhaps, are punished proportionately for our sins. I know I am not.

Compared to the huge stack of offences for which a just judge might need to judge us, any individual’s offence against us is small indeed. 

But not writing it off, retaining the memory of the wrong and the injustice they have done us, opens us up to judgment from God. 

Though he had not held us accountable for all our wrong-doing, in the act of refusing to waive our brother’s sin against us, we open ourselves up to judgement.

And it comes. We are handed over to the torturers until we have paid back all we owe.

I can testify from personal experience that this true.

When I have struggled to forgive, I have been re-injured by by memories of the injustice; by rage and anger at the wrong done me, by memories of my impotence to do anything about it, by the desire for justice to be meted out to those who had wronged me.

So one just has to mentally rip up the cheque of the wrongs committed us into tiny pieces, and hand it to God. He can fling it into the depths of the sea, as he does our own sins, or choose to bring judgement to those who have sinned against us.

Jesus points out the correspondence between our being forgiven and forgiving others, when he teaches his disciples to say, “Forgive us our sins, as we forgive those who sin against us.” In the proportion to the which we release the debts owed us.

Forgiveness is not a matter of the mind and will. It is a transaction of the emotions.

How do we do it? Well, we ask for God’s grace to forgive those who have sinned against us.

And the crucial thing is that we ask God to bless them. It is cognitively impossible to both ask God to bless people, and to wish them ill. So we ask that God forgives us our sins, as we forgive others, that God blesses us, as we bless others. “Love your enemies, bless those who curse you, pray for those who persecute you.”

And our souls will find rest.

And joy.

It’s funny, for me there is a link between joy, peace and creativity–and forgiveness. When I tear up the cheques of what people owe me, and pray for them to be blessed, joy and peace, creativity and good ideas flow through me again. 

And how quickly one can forget this and get mired in the marshes in which no good things grow. (Ezek:47)

P.S. Writing down my thoughts on this has a minuscle fraction of the power a good story or allegory would have had. Story is really the way to go.

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Comments

  1. Anita Mathias says

    June 14, 2011 at 7:13 pm

    Yes, one could not feel bound and condemned by someone else's judgement of us, but we do, don't we.
    I suppose we just need to soak in the Father's love to find the strength to cope with other people's judgment and condemnation.

  2. Jennifer in OR says

    June 14, 2011 at 5:27 am

    Wish I could have been there! I am living on the side of being unforgiven by someone, and it's strange the effect that has on one. I can't control someone else's choice to wrongly hold a grievance against me…and somehow I feel the weight of it always.

  3. Anita Mathias says

    June 11, 2011 at 9:35 pm

    Thanks much, Rhoda!

  4. Rhoda says

    June 11, 2011 at 9:16 pm

    This is so good. I also find that it brings me a lot more joy when I forgive, otherwise resentment gets me down. Thank you for sharing that 🙂

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My Books

Wandering Between Two Worlds: Essays on Faith and Art

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Francesco, Artist of Florence: The Man Who Gave Too Much

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The Story of Dirk Willems

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Premier Digital Awards 2015 - Finalist - Blogger of the year
Runner Up Christian Media Awards 2014 - Tweeter of the year

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anita.mathias

Writer, Blogger, Reader, Mum. Christian. Instaing Oxford, travel, gardens and healthy meals. Oxford English alum. Writing memoir. Lives in Oxford, UK

Images from walks around Oxford. #beauty #oxford # Images from walks around Oxford. #beauty #oxford #walking #tranquility #naturephotography #nature
So we had a lovely holiday in the Southwest. And h So we had a lovely holiday in the Southwest. And here we are at one of the world’s most famous and easily recognisable sites.
#stonehenge #travel #england #prehistoric England #family #druids
And I’ve blogged https://anitamathias.com/2020/09/13/on-not-wasting-a-desert-experience/
So, after Paul the Apostle's lightning bolt encounter with the Risen Christ on the road to Damascus, he went into the desert, he tells us...
And there, he received revelation, visions, and had divine encounters. The same Judean desert, where Jesus fasted for forty days before starting his active ministry. Where Moses encountered God. Where David turned from a shepherd to a leader and a King, and more, a man after God’s own heart.  Where Elijah in the throes of a nervous breakdown hears God in a gentle whisper. 
England, where I live, like most of the world is going through a desert experience of continuing partial lockdowns. Covid-19 spreads through human contact and social life, and so we must refrain from those great pleasures. We are invited to the desert, a harsh place where pruning can occur, and spiritual fruitfulness.
A plague like this has not been known for a hundred years... John Piper, after his cancer diagnosis, exhorted people, “Don’t Waste Your Cancer”—since this was the experience God permitted you to have, and He can bring gold from it. Pandemics and plagues are permitted (though not willed or desired) by a Sovereign God, and he can bring life-change out of them. 
Let us not waste this unwanted, unchosen pandemic, this opportunity for silence, solitude and reflection. Let’s not squander on endless Zoom calls—or on the internet, which, if not used wisely, will only raise anxiety levels. Let’s instead accept the invitation to increased silence and reflection
Let's use the extra free time that many of us have long coveted and which has now been given us by Covid-19 restrictions to seek the face of God. To seek revelation. To pray. 
And to work on those projects of our hearts which have been smothered by noise, busyness, and the tumult of people and parties. To nurture the fragile dreams still alive in our hearts. The long-deferred duty or vocation
So, we are about eight weeks into lockdown, and I So, we are about eight weeks into lockdown, and I have totally sunk into the rhythm of it, and have got quiet, very quiet, the quietest spell of time I have had as an adult.
I like it. I will find going back to the sometimes frenetic merry-go-round of my old life rather hard. Well, I doubt I will go back to it. I will prune some activities, and generally live more intentionally and mindfully.
I have started blocking internet of my phone and laptop for longer periods of time, and that has brought a lot of internal quiet and peace.
Some of the things I have enjoyed during lockdown have been my daily long walks, and gardening. Well, and reading and working on a longer piece of work.
Here are some images from my walks.
And if you missed it, a blog about maintaining peace in the middle of the storm of a global pandemic
https://anitamathias.com/2020/05/04/a-mind-of-life-and-peace/  #walking #contemplating #beauty #oxford #pandemic
A few walks in Oxford in the time of quarantine. A few walks in Oxford in the time of quarantine.  We can maintain a mind of life and peace during this period of lockdown by being mindful of our minds, and regulating them through meditation; being mindful of our bodies and keeping them happy by exercise and yoga; and being mindful of our emotions in this uncertain time, and trusting God who remains in charge. A new blog on maintaining a mind of life and peace during lockdown https://anitamathias.com/2020/05/04/a-mind-of-life-and-peace/
In the days when one could still travel, i.e. Janu In the days when one could still travel, i.e. January 2020, which seems like another life, all four of us spent 10 days in Malta. I unplugged, and logged off social media, so here are some belated iphone photos of a day in Valetta.
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#valleta #valletamalta #travel #travelgram #uncagedbird
Images from some recent walks in Oxford. I am copi Images from some recent walks in Oxford.
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How are you doing?
#oxford #oxfordinlockdown #lockdown #walk #lockdownwalks #peace #beauty #happiness #joy #thepeaceofwildthings
Images of walks in Oxford in this time of social d Images of walks in Oxford in this time of social distancing. The first two are my own garden.  And I’ve https://anitamathias.com/2020/03/28/silver-and-gold-linings-in-the-storm-clouds-of-coronavirus/ #corona #socialdistancing #silverlinings #silence #solitude #peace
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Look, I’ve designed a journal. It’s an omnibus Look, I’ve designed a journal. It’s an omnibus Gratitude journal, habit tracker, food and exercise journal, bullet journal, with time sheets, goal sheets and a Planner. Everything you’d like to track.  Here’s a post about it with ISBNs https://anitamathias.com/2019/12/23/life-changing-journalling/. Check it out. I hope you and your kids like it!
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