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Anita Mathias's Blog on Faith and Art

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Blogging and Real Life Ministry

By Anita Mathias

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I usually try to do some ministry at church, no matter how busy I am. Give and you shall receive is one of my key convictions. Short of money: share money. Short of time and energy and inspiration? Share those. I’ve lead and taught 8 small groups over the decade—and usually at times when time, energy and inspiration were short.
But I hadn’t done any ministry last year, and began to feel uneasy. I blog on faith, and the pursuit of God and the spiritual life. On life lived in the interstices of heaven and earth.
Blogging on the spiritual life, I came to feel, absolutely has to be done in community.  With close Christians friends with whom you can thrash our your ideas, see when they are too extreme, too negative, too impractical. Just wrong, theologically or otherwise. Just a little bit stupid!
And even more, it’s wonderful for a Christian blogger to have a real life ministry with real people. To see if and how faith works if your friend’s husband has just lost his job. Left her. If a biopsy shows a malignancy. If one is battling depression, mental illness or death. Or your son has had an overdose. Then, when you see how Scripture has real treasures for real people, and what you blog is not theoretical. It is real.
And so I was pleased when asked to co-lead the group I have been attending for a year. It’s a special group of accomplished, highly-educated, successful, professional women, but far more importantly, they are kind, and their kindness and acceptance has been balm to me after a traumatic church experience in my previous Oxford church. (Yes, church and blogging do not mix well. I have now resolved NEVER to blog anything even slightly negatively or controversial about my new church, St. Andrew’s, Oxford.)
Leading Christian small groups is a funny business. I have lead some single-handedly and found it a strain. But when I co-lead, almost always with friends, that is a strain too, simply because my friends are as opinionated as I am!! Every friendship has shown the strain of our co-leading a small group–and some have not survived it!
And so, I get asked to co-lead with her by the woman I like best in the group. And she is so much like me, equally, or, if possible, more opinionated.
I have heard people say that God will keep you in kindergarten until you have learned the lessons. Then you graduate!
And I so want to make a success of this relationship with my very sweet co-leader, so want to pass this test (though I’ve flunked some of the former ones). Want to graduate.
God obviously sees I have things to learn, and ways to grow in this, and so he keeps giving me opportunities to co-lead small groups though I’ve failed in the past (not in the leading, just in co-leading with humility, mutual submission, charity and grace).
And what are my strategies for succeeding in a task in which I have previously failed, and in which God has oddly chosen to give me a new chance? (Though he knew every single failure of mine over the last decade, which no one else did!)
First of all, surrender it to God. It’s God’s group, not ours. Not mine. Second, keep praying for it, and our leadership constantly. Keep reminding myself we are leading to serve. Thirdly, defer. My relationship with my co-leader is more important than me getting my way.  Fourthly, if I defer, do it with a good grace and with a smile. These things are simply not that important.
I read this and smile. My husband who eagerly reads each blog I write as they are published will read it and smile too.
You see, all these things are applicable to co-leading a group with an equally opinionated friend—but they are far more applicable to marriage with an equally opinionated man!!
Surrender the marriage to God. Keep praying. Defer. Defer with a good grace. These things are simply not that important.
Yeah!! Now to remember this! 

Oh never mind. Roy will remind me!!

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Comments

  1. Anita Mathias says

    March 14, 2012 at 9:35 pm

    @Sarah. Yeah, it's so amazing how God knew my litany of failures in this area, which even my husband probably didn't know of, and yet gave me another chance to grow. And it's so exciting and so liberating to do things differently, and get a different result.

    Thanks much, @Emma. I guess one can be a mystic in solitude, but that hasn't been an acceptable job description since the middle ages with their anchorites!!

  2. Emma says

    March 14, 2012 at 8:01 pm

    I totally agree – blogging can easily be a solitary pursuit that makes you look inwards instead of outwards – but that's not life, even tho it can be comfy. Great challenges too for living in community: especially the observation that relationships are more important than getting my own way. Now, to try and put this into practice!

  3. Sarah says

    March 14, 2012 at 1:27 pm

    Your blog today made me smile as I have both led and co-led groups before 🙂 Group dynamics can be so interesting – a real place to learn and grow.
    I love the way God is gracious and gently gives us the same tasks to do over and over until we “sort of” master it.
    I am so glad He never gives up on us!

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Anita Mathias: About Me

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My Books

Wandering Between Two Worlds: Essays on Faith and Art

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Francesco, Artist of Florence: The Man Who Gave Too Much

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The Story of Dirk Willems

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Premier Digital Awards 2015 - Finalist - Blogger of the year
Runner Up Christian Media Awards 2014 - Tweeter of the year

Recent Posts

  •  On Not Wasting a Desert Experience
  • A Mind of Life and Peace in the Middle of a Global Pandemic
  • On Yoga and Following Jesus
  • Silver and Gold Linings in the Storm Clouds of Coronavirus
  • Trust: A Message of Christmas
  • Life- Changing Journaling: A Gratitude Journal, and Habit-Tracker, with Food and Exercise Logs, Time Sheets, a Bullet Journal, Goal Sheets and a Planner
  • On Loving That Which Love You Back
  • “An Autobiography in Five Chapters” and Avoiding Habitual Holes  
  • Shining Faith in Action: Dirk Willems on the Ice
  • The Story of Dirk Willems: The Man who Died to Save His Enemy

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What I’m Reading

Childhood, Youth, Dependency: The Copenhagen Trilogy
Tove Ditlevsen

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Amazing Faith: The Authorized Biography of Bill Bright
Michael Richardson

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On Writing: A Memoir of the Craft
Stephen King

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Acedia & me: A Marriage, Monks, and a Writer's Life
Kathleen Norris

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Andrew Marr


A History of the World
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Opened Ground: Poems, 1966-96
Seamus Heaney


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anita.mathias

Writer, Blogger, Reader, Mum. Christian. Instaing Oxford, travel, gardens and healthy meals. Oxford English alum. Writing memoir. Lives in Oxford, UK

Images from walks around Oxford. #beauty #oxford # Images from walks around Oxford. #beauty #oxford #walking #tranquility #naturephotography #nature
So we had a lovely holiday in the Southwest. And h So we had a lovely holiday in the Southwest. And here we are at one of the world’s most famous and easily recognisable sites.
#stonehenge #travel #england #prehistoric England #family #druids
And I’ve blogged https://anitamathias.com/2020/09/13/on-not-wasting-a-desert-experience/
So, after Paul the Apostle's lightning bolt encounter with the Risen Christ on the road to Damascus, he went into the desert, he tells us...
And there, he received revelation, visions, and had divine encounters. The same Judean desert, where Jesus fasted for forty days before starting his active ministry. Where Moses encountered God. Where David turned from a shepherd to a leader and a King, and more, a man after God’s own heart.  Where Elijah in the throes of a nervous breakdown hears God in a gentle whisper. 
England, where I live, like most of the world is going through a desert experience of continuing partial lockdowns. Covid-19 spreads through human contact and social life, and so we must refrain from those great pleasures. We are invited to the desert, a harsh place where pruning can occur, and spiritual fruitfulness.
A plague like this has not been known for a hundred years... John Piper, after his cancer diagnosis, exhorted people, “Don’t Waste Your Cancer”—since this was the experience God permitted you to have, and He can bring gold from it. Pandemics and plagues are permitted (though not willed or desired) by a Sovereign God, and he can bring life-change out of them. 
Let us not waste this unwanted, unchosen pandemic, this opportunity for silence, solitude and reflection. Let’s not squander on endless Zoom calls—or on the internet, which, if not used wisely, will only raise anxiety levels. Let’s instead accept the invitation to increased silence and reflection
Let's use the extra free time that many of us have long coveted and which has now been given us by Covid-19 restrictions to seek the face of God. To seek revelation. To pray. 
And to work on those projects of our hearts which have been smothered by noise, busyness, and the tumult of people and parties. To nurture the fragile dreams still alive in our hearts. The long-deferred duty or vocation
So, we are about eight weeks into lockdown, and I So, we are about eight weeks into lockdown, and I have totally sunk into the rhythm of it, and have got quiet, very quiet, the quietest spell of time I have had as an adult.
I like it. I will find going back to the sometimes frenetic merry-go-round of my old life rather hard. Well, I doubt I will go back to it. I will prune some activities, and generally live more intentionally and mindfully.
I have started blocking internet of my phone and laptop for longer periods of time, and that has brought a lot of internal quiet and peace.
Some of the things I have enjoyed during lockdown have been my daily long walks, and gardening. Well, and reading and working on a longer piece of work.
Here are some images from my walks.
And if you missed it, a blog about maintaining peace in the middle of the storm of a global pandemic
https://anitamathias.com/2020/05/04/a-mind-of-life-and-peace/  #walking #contemplating #beauty #oxford #pandemic
A few walks in Oxford in the time of quarantine. A few walks in Oxford in the time of quarantine.  We can maintain a mind of life and peace during this period of lockdown by being mindful of our minds, and regulating them through meditation; being mindful of our bodies and keeping them happy by exercise and yoga; and being mindful of our emotions in this uncertain time, and trusting God who remains in charge. A new blog on maintaining a mind of life and peace during lockdown https://anitamathias.com/2020/05/04/a-mind-of-life-and-peace/
In the days when one could still travel, i.e. Janu In the days when one could still travel, i.e. January 2020, which seems like another life, all four of us spent 10 days in Malta. I unplugged, and logged off social media, so here are some belated iphone photos of a day in Valetta.
Today, of course, there’s a lockdown, and the country’s leader is in intensive care.
When the world is too much with us, and the news stresses us, moving one’s body, as in yoga or walking, calms the mind. I am doing some Yoga with Adriene, and again seeing the similarities between the practice of Yoga and the practice of following Christ.
https://anitamathias.com/2020/04/06/on-yoga-and-following-jesus/
#valleta #valletamalta #travel #travelgram #uncagedbird
Images from some recent walks in Oxford. I am copi Images from some recent walks in Oxford.
I am coping with lockdown by really, really enjoying my daily 4 mile walk. By savouring the peace of wild things. By trusting that God will bring good out of this. With a bit of yoga, and weights. And by working a fair amount in my garden. And reading.
How are you doing?
#oxford #oxfordinlockdown #lockdown #walk #lockdownwalks #peace #beauty #happiness #joy #thepeaceofwildthings
Images of walks in Oxford in this time of social d Images of walks in Oxford in this time of social distancing. The first two are my own garden.  And I’ve https://anitamathias.com/2020/03/28/silver-and-gold-linings-in-the-storm-clouds-of-coronavirus/ #corona #socialdistancing #silverlinings #silence #solitude #peace
Trust: A Message of Christmas He came to earth in Trust: A Message of Christmas  He came to earth in a  splash of energy
And gentleness and humility.
That homeless baby in the barn
Would be the lynchpin on which history would ever after turn
Who would have thought it?
But perhaps those attuned to God’s way of surprises would not be surprised.
He was already at the centre of all things, connecting all things. * * *
Augustus Caesar issued a decree which brought him to Bethlehem,
The oppressions of colonialism and conquest brought the Messiah exactly where he was meant to be, the place prophesied eight hundred years before his birth by the Prophet Micah.
And he was already redeeming all things. The shame of unwed motherhood; the powerlessness of poverty.
He was born among animals in a barn, animals enjoying the sweetness of life, animals he created, animals precious to him.
For he created all things, and in him all things hold together
Including stars in the sky, of which a new one heralded his birth
Drawing astronomers to him.
And drawing him to the attention of an angry King
As angelic song drew shepherds to him.
An Emperor, a King, scholars, shepherds, angels, animals, stars, an unwed mother
All things in heaven and earth connected
By a homeless baby
The still point on which the world still turns. The powerful centre. The only true power.
The One who makes connections. * * *
And there is no end to the wisdom, the crystal glints of the Message that birth brings.
To me, today, it says, “Fear not, trust me, I will make a way.” The baby lay gentle in the barn
And God arranges for new stars, angelic song, wise visitors with needed finances for his sustenance in the swiftly-coming exile, shepherds to underline the anointing and reassure his parents. “Trust me in your dilemmas,” the baby still says, “I will make a way. I will show it to you.” Happy Christmas everyone.  https://anitamathias.com/2019/12/24/trust-a-message-of-christmas/ #christmas #gemalderieberlin #trust #godwillmakeaway
Look, I’ve designed a journal. It’s an omnibus Look, I’ve designed a journal. It’s an omnibus Gratitude journal, habit tracker, food and exercise journal, bullet journal, with time sheets, goal sheets and a Planner. Everything you’d like to track.  Here’s a post about it with ISBNs https://anitamathias.com/2019/12/23/life-changing-journalling/. Check it out. I hope you and your kids like it!
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