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Beauty and God

By Anita Mathias

Drawing by  Lesley Fellows
Me, original design














My opinionated daughters engaged me in a heated theological debate on beauty this week.
Irene saunters into my bedroom. Her beloved black and gold Tinker Bell pyjama top has a tear down the seam.
“Irene, throw it away,” I say.
She scrunches up her face, “NO,” she says appalled.
I hand her a needle and thread.
“Then, mend it,” I say.
“No,” she says. “It’s a pyjama top.”
I, “You are a daughter of a King. There is no need for you to wear torn clothes.”
She, appalled again, “He couldn’t care what I look like. He didn’t care what he looked like.”
Me, a bit uncertain, “You don’t think God cares what you look like?”
She, “No! He’d just look at my face.”
Me, “Oh”
* * *
Zoe, 16, agrees with her sister. She wore contact lenses for 2 days, then declared that they were too much hassle. “But, but, but…” I stammer.
My very appearance-conscious father used to joke, “Men don’t make passes at girls who wear glasses” and got both his daughters contacts in our teens, my sister’s when she was ten!!
I can hardly say that to Zoe. I am, roughly speaking, a feminist, and have tried to raise them to be independent and self-confident.
Zoe, seeing me falter, adds, for good measure. “And I have decided not to ever use make up either.” I gave her a lovely triple layer make-up kit for her 16th birthday, full of the most gorgeous gold, and bronze and silver and purples, which I would have had fun using as a teenager. “What?” I say. “Make up is fun; it’s like art; it’s like painting.” The fact that I rarely remember to use it probably undermines my words.
* * *
I thought of an argument I had with a close American friend of ours, who was a mentor to us when we lived in America around the time Irene was born. I had gained a lot of weight during that pregnancy and he—we had regular bi-weekly spiritual direction sessions over a period of 5 years– was urging me to diet and exercise.
Me, “I don’t think God cares what I look like.”
He, “Anita, when you write how you put it is as important as what you say. Your appearance is part of who you are.”
I somewhat bought his argument—though I have gained another 18 pounds since Irene was born in May 1999. Sigh!
Yes, God loves beauty, and so perhaps we should try to look as attractive as we can, given our starting point?
                                                       * * *
So how should a daughter of the King look? A story I heard the father of the friend I’ve just mentioned tell has influenced my thinking on the subject.
Jack Miller and his wife Rosemary who had founded World Harvest Mission were visiting Uganda. They come late to a meeting, and every seat was taken except the ones right in front, next to the President, Idi Amin. Rosemary nervously tells Jack, “I’ll sit on the grass.” “Jack says, “Rosemary, no! You are wearing a lovely dress. You are a daughter of the King. Be brave. We will sit in front.” And they go and sit next to Idi Amin, who is gracious to them.
This is a useful principle for me when I declutter. If something is too old, faded, stained, worn—whether an item of clothing, or furniture or household item, carpets, towels etc.—to be in the house of a daughter of the King, out it goes.
                                                            * * * 
I don’t agree with Irene. I think God cares for his “original design” in us and wants us to fit and strong, and attractive in accordance with his original design for us. As is fitting for daughters of the King.
* * *
I noticed over the 17 years I lived in America that every female Christian leader and teacher was also slim and gorgeous. She would not have had much appeal to other Christian women if she had not been so. And so would not have been able to exercise her ministry as effectively
*  * *
I have have theoretically acquiesced that my body is the temple of the Holy Spirit, and it is important to keep it fit. However, my resolutions falter on a weekly basis faced with chocolate, let’s say, or how much more magnetic my laptop is than weight-lifting. I guess the girls have picked up what I do rather than what I say.
* * *
I have two friends with the degenerative neurological disease, MND or Lou Gehrigh’s disease. They have speech and physical therapy. Their body will degenerate anyway—but fighting against it will so something to ameliorate the degeneration.
And so, if, despite trying, in fits and starts, to exercise and eat more healthily, I still gain a few pounds over a course of the year, I am trying not to be discouraged, but remember that if I did not, I could easily gain a few pounds in the course of a month—or week.
                                                               * * *
So what do you think? Does God care about what we look like? Would he like us to continue trying to look reasonably attractive—or is he mainly concerned with the beauty of our spirits?

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Comments

  1. Anita Mathias says

    April 26, 2011 at 10:12 am

    Thanks Lesley, makes a lot of sense.
    Thanks Adulcia. What an amazing modelling school. I am sure attitude (one's inner spirit) has as much to do with beauty as anything else. I am a belated convert to the importance of diet and exercise. I wish I had realized the importance of these decades earlier.
    Aw, Jen, thanks so much!

  2. Jennifer in OR says

    April 26, 2011 at 1:04 am

    You are indeed beautiful, inside and out!

  3. Adulcia says

    April 25, 2011 at 10:52 pm

    I’ve spent a few days thinking about this. I tend to agree more with your daughters.

    Our body is the temple of the Holy Spirit, which means we should respect and look after it, including eating healthy food and exercising regularly. But I don’t think it matters so much between using glasses or contacts, or whether or not to wear make-up.

    Maybe it’s partially a cultural thing. Where I live I can only think of one of my friends who regularly wears make-up every day. Even in my professional work environment, most of the women would only wear a bit of natural lip gloss. I make sure I use a moisturizer with sunscreen every day, because New Zealand has a harsh sun and high melanoma rates.

    Many many years ago in my teens I did a modeling course to learn posture and grooming. The first lesson was about skin care, and I was expecting to learn about cosmetic lotions and potions. We were taught the three most important steps for physical beauty were:
    – drink 8 glasses of water per day
    – Exercise at least 3 times per week
    – Maintain a positive attitude.
    This was a secular modeling school, with a focus on physical beauty, and at the core of everything they taught us was look after your health, and keep a good attitude. I’ve never forgotten that.

    I do know that you need to be well presented in a professional work environment or if you’re speaking publicly. But how people will know I am a “Daughter of the King” is by my attitude and spirit. “By this everyone will know that you are my disciples, if you love one another.” (John 13:35)

  4. Lesley says

    April 24, 2011 at 7:42 am

    I think it probably does matter but not in the way we think it does in our youth obsessed culture. I've drawn a lot of faces recently and in particular I love eyes.. everyone has darkened skin around their eyes and bags under them, most have wrinkles, why on earth do we think this is a bad thing? As an artist this is a wonderful thing, gives far more character to our faces.

    But I think there is something beautiful about dressing to express who we are, taking joy in the textures and colours and patterns that humans make. The English culture is particularly poor at this – go abroad and there is so much more pride and vibrancy in clothing and jewelry… gives an added richness and self respect.

    As for God, I imagine that he loves us to be at our best, and I guess if we are happy in our bodies and joyful in our clothes then that is the best we can be.

  5. Anita Mathias says

    April 23, 2011 at 9:51 pm

    Aw, thank you. I liked it and was flattered to be drawn.
    This post has been incomplete on my feeble stack for a week. I suppose the girls' arguments made me wonder whether outward appearance mattered to God, or not.
    And, uncharacteristically wishy-washily I haven't come to a firm conclusion after thinking about it, and writing the post.

  6. Lesley says

    April 23, 2011 at 9:30 pm

    But you are beautiful Anita. I was very aware of that when I draw you…

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anita.mathias

Writer, Blogger, Reader, Mum. Christian. Instaing Oxford, travel, gardens and healthy meals. Oxford English alum. Writing memoir. Lives in Oxford, UK

Instagram post 2186714755975443652_1686032450 A sunny day in Porto and Coimbra.
Now back home, back to Yoga classes and the like.
I find if I get a spot up front near the instructor and next to someone accomplished, and follow them as bravely and gaspingly as I can, I get a thorough workout, totally break a sweat, do things I was certain I could not do, and get so much stronger in the process.
A bit like following Christ. Read what he said, take a deep breath and do it as exactly as you can, and you will slowly find yourself becoming a little bit stronger, wiser and yes, happier! My thought for the day 🙂
#porto #portugal #ilovetravel #happiness
Instagram post 2185957583540871908_1686032450 Images from our week in Porto.
Both my grandmothers, for as long as I knew them, were homebodies, spending their days in just one or two rooms.
I love travel, and excitement, and living as big and expansive life as I can.
But I too spend several hours every day in a quiet room, reading, writing, thinking, praying... And in the quiet room, one can interact the best thoughts of men and women down the ages, and more with infinity.. God, The sweet Spirit, The Lord Christ. #porto #portugal #travel #novembersun #marriage #marriedlife #beaches #portoribeira #fun
Instagram post 2180132061531496763_1686032450 Images from the Ashmolean Museum’s exhibition in Pompeii, death suddenly arriving in the middle of hectic life. Leaving in its aftermath particularly fertile volcanic soil.
When we become stuck in bitterness, when we recount the same sad story, again and again, in our own minds and to others... we forget that EVERY death has the potential for resurrection.
Have you suffered financial loss, financial injustice, completely untrue slander, deep sadness, failure? I have. Many humans have.
Give it to God. Give it to God of resurrection. Ask him to bring beauty from those sad, dead things.
The soil in the aftermath of a volcanic explosion is particularly fertile.
God can bring new life and beauty from dead things.
He calls out to sad hearts, "Come alive. Come alive!" #pompeii # Ashmolean
Instagram post 2175440736861042753_1686032450 Thoughts on avoiding the holes we habitually fall into, and BELATED images from one of my favourite active holidays https://anitamathias.com/2019/11/11/an-autobiography-in-five-chapters-and-avoiding-habitual-holes/
Instagram post 2156925313647782363_1686032450 I am inspired and moved by the story of Dirk Willems, a hero of the Reformation who lost his life to save his enemy, and have written a little book about him. 
It's on http://Amazon.co.uk  https://amzn.to/2Bk9Shl  and on http://Amazon.com  https://amzn.to/2VQOSYN 
Please do consider reading it & reviewing it. I would be immensely grateful.  Thank you!
Instagram post 2156141167803371501_1686032450 Okay, an unabashed Latergram on our first day in Iceland in Thingvellir National Park. Isn’t it dramatic.  And a short blog  https://anitamathias.com/2019/10/16/on-checking-in-before-you-fly/ #thingvellirnationalpark #iceland #travel #beauty #joy #adventure #life
Instagram post 2148813562469383835_1686032450 Family walks in assorted parks and gardens.  On my new spiritual discipline of Bible-walking, listening to and engaging with Scripture on the hoof.  https://anitamathias.com/2019/10/06/the-spiritual-practice-of-bible-walking/ #walkingandpraying #walkingwiththeword #biblewalking #walkingwiththelord
Instagram post 2134504882437551900_1686032450 I am in New York for a couple of weeks, for my niece Kristina’s wedding. We are having an amazing time, and I have taken a zillion pictures, and it is hot. So here’s a #latergram album from our trip to cool Iceland last month.  I have also blogged on experiencing deep peace in times of political turmoil.
https://anitamathias.com/2019/09/17/deep-peace-in-times-of-political-turmoil/  #iceland  #ringroad #icebergs #glaciers #glaciallagoon #beauty
Instagram post 2118440928208588573_1686032450 I don’t know how to do justice to an amazing trip to Iceland... glacial lagoons, icebergs, glaciers, volcanoes, puffins, seals, geysers, black sand beaches, and these aren’t even my best pictures, but here’s a start.
And here’s a blog https://anitamathias.com/2019/08/25/on-returning-home-to-yourself-and-the-things-you-love-more-than-yourself/ #icebergs #glaciers #glaciallagoon #iceland #travel #love
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