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How to Enjoy a Big, Spacious, Open-hearted Life

By Anita Mathias

                 Image: UNHCR

“The ability to enjoy a big, spacious, abundant, open-hearted life is directly proportional to your ability to love everyone, especially those who are different from you,” Brian Houston, founder of Hillsong wrote. “We cannot reduce people’s whole lives into one sweeping, judgmental statement.”

I love that sentence… I want that, a big, spacious, open-hearted life. And for that, I have to learn to obey the two commandments that Jesus said were the greatest, and to, somehow or the other, learn to think and act with kindness, not only towards those whom it’s easy to love… but towards those whom it is difficult to love because they are too like me!! and those who are different from me.

And agape love starts with looking, with seeing.

Like everything else in the Christian life, it works by contraries and paradoxes. We become bigger, better, people by really looking at others, really seeing them, really listening, emptying ourselves of ourselves.

* * *

My life and heart have begun to be enlarged and enriched as I talk, whenever possible, to the people of the many races and nationalities and cultures and customs whom I encounter here in Oxford, and when I travel in England and Europe.

When I listen to and meditate on big chunks of Scripture on my headphones as I go on a walk (in The Message, or in German, which I am learning), I can feel myself changing ever so slightly, slowly but surely, becoming a bigger, better, and wiser person. And similarly, I feel my heart and my world-view slowly expanding, sometimes splitting open, as I observe without judgement, and talk to as many different people as I can whose race, culture, stage of life, and backgrounds are  different from my own.

Making a conscious effort to have meaningful conversations with people whose life-experience is very different to my own is an enriching, interesting, and heart-expanding experience. At a recent Christian social event, I decided not to chiefly talk to my friends who were there, but to those who were at a different age/stage than I was, or who, like me, stood out in the lily-white crowd. I had interesting conversations with a doctoral student from Singapore, a postdoc from Malaysia, a black South African, and the nicest Iranian couple who became Christians after the wife saw Jesus in a dream (and who loved my daughter, Irene, because, apparently, she looked like their sweet daughter). I spoke to a mum who had recently lost her young child, to a church member with mental health problems, to my daughters’ friends. It was the most fascinating three hours, and I was so glad I had decided not to just catch up with my friends but to seek out those who were different to me.

* * *

And to live with openness, without judgement or fear, is essential in this world which, inevitably, will be increasingly multi-cultural, increasingly shaped by migration.  Migration is a potent political issue… one which lay behind Angela Merkel’s plummeting approval ratings after her generosity to migrants in 2015.

I have spent roughly a third of my life  in each of three countries: India, England, and the US. And all my friends have wanted roughly the same things: interesting work; a spacious, light-filled house in a safe, quiet location; a good education and opportunities for their children; physical safety, good health and health care, leisure for exercise, to read, watch movies, travel, go to the theatre, whatever; friendship, love. Basically, the stuff on Maslow’s hierarchy of basic needs.

And the migrants among us want, need and seek the same things.

Migration is built into the DNA of all living being. Birds, butterflies, fish, mammals, migrate according to the seasons and the availability of food. At a time when climate change, and the actions of aggressive nations, like China are emptying the seas of sand and fish, and stripping the land of animals and green things, causing increasing desertification and water shortages, and the rising violence which leads to poverty,  it is quite natural to want to move to where one can breathe freely, eat healthily, drink clean water, live in safety, and give your children the chance in life that other people’s children have.

I have been surprised by how vehemently some Christians in the US support Trump’s cruel treatment of migrants. And of course, uneasiness about migration was a major element of Brexit, and is shaping European politics.

But migration is and will probably become an increasing fact of life. As Christ-followers living in affluent countries, with everything we need, we must resist fear that migration will lead to scarcity. Cultural shifts, yes, and perhaps exciting ones. Scarcity no; most economists concur in this.

For our own mental, emotional and spiritual health, we must live with open, non-judgmental eyes, open-hearted interest, and a lack of condemnation and prejudice towards other people. And that openheartedness and generous-spiritedness will immeasurably enrich our lives, giving us a big, spacious, abundant, open-hearted life.

Animosity towards others, whether in the sanctuary of our hearts, or expressed verbally, online, or in our facial expressions or actions towards others, is like a tiny toxin which will slowly but inevitably affect our own mental and emotional health and happiness. We are what we think. Our negative thoughts change our body chemistry on the molecular level as stress hormones like adrenaline build up. Unkind judgements of others, and racial or religious prejudice, are like disease-causing carcinogens affecting our soul and spirit, which, if not checked, will eventually affect our mental, emotional, spiritual and physical health.  And will spill over into a less happy family and society.

Conversely, open-heartedness offers a happier, more peaceful life-experience, and is a pathway to a rich, “big, spacious, abundant life.”

  • * * *

As with any change, it comes through two factors, our own decision and actions, and the grace of God.

“The Baptism in the Holy Spirit is a baptism of love,” Andrew Murray wrote; another favourite sentence. Sometimes, we just need to ask for God’s wise, kind, egalitarian eyes to see the world and people as he sees them, and to change our hearts and make them a bit more like his.

Books referred to which you might enjoy

1 Brian Houston: Live, Love, Lead: Your Best is Yet to Come on Amazon.comand on Amazon.co.uk

2 Andrew Murray: Absolute Surrender on Amazon.com and on Amazon.co.uk

3 Gary Haugen: The Locust Effect: Why the End of Poverty Requires the End of Violence on Amazon.comand on Amazon.co.uk

4 Eugene Peterson: The Message on Amazon.com  and on Amazon.co.uk

Filed Under: Applying my heart unto wisdom Tagged With: Andrew Murray, Brian Houston, Gary Haugen, Mercy, Migration, open-heartedness

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Anita Mathias: About Me

Anita Mathias

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My Books

Wandering Between Two Worlds: Essays on Faith and Art

Wandering Between Two Worlds - Amazon.com
Amazon.com

Amazon.co.uk

Francesco, Artist of Florence: The Man Who Gave Too Much

Francesco, Artist of Florence - Amazom.com
Amazon.com

Amazon.co.uk

The Story of Dirk Willems

The Story of Dirk Willems - Amazon.com
Amazon.com

Amazon.co.uk
Premier Digital Awards 2015 - Finalist - Blogger of the year
Runner Up Christian Media Awards 2014 - Tweeter of the year

Recent Posts

  •  On Not Wasting a Desert Experience
  • A Mind of Life and Peace in the Middle of a Global Pandemic
  • On Yoga and Following Jesus
  • Silver and Gold Linings in the Storm Clouds of Coronavirus
  • Trust: A Message of Christmas
  • Life- Changing Journaling: A Gratitude Journal, and Habit-Tracker, with Food and Exercise Logs, Time Sheets, a Bullet Journal, Goal Sheets and a Planner
  • On Loving That Which Love You Back
  • “An Autobiography in Five Chapters” and Avoiding Habitual Holes  
  • Shining Faith in Action: Dirk Willems on the Ice
  • The Story of Dirk Willems: The Man who Died to Save His Enemy

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What I’m Reading

Apropos of Nothing
Woody Allen

Apropos of Nothing  - Amazon.com
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Amazing Faith: The Authorized Biography of Bill Bright
Michael Richardson

Amazing Faith -- Bill Bright -- Amazon.com
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Wanderlust
Rebecca Solnit

Solnit --  Amazon.com
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Acedia & me: A Marriage, Monks, and a Writer\'s Life
Kathleen Norris

KATHLEEN NORRIS --  Amazon.com
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Opened Ground: Poems, 1966-96
Seamus Heaney

Opened Ground: Poems, 1966-96 Amazon.com
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anita.mathias

Writer, Blogger, Reader, Mum. Christian. Instaing Oxford, travel, gardens and healthy meals. Oxford English alum. Writing memoir. Lives in Oxford, UK

Images from walks around Oxford. #beauty #oxford # Images from walks around Oxford. #beauty #oxford #walking #tranquility #naturephotography #nature
So we had a lovely holiday in the Southwest. And h So we had a lovely holiday in the Southwest. And here we are at one of the world’s most famous and easily recognisable sites.
#stonehenge #travel #england #prehistoric England #family #druids
And I’ve blogged https://anitamathias.com/2020/09/13/on-not-wasting-a-desert-experience/
So, after Paul the Apostle's lightning bolt encounter with the Risen Christ on the road to Damascus, he went into the desert, he tells us...
And there, he received revelation, visions, and had divine encounters. The same Judean desert, where Jesus fasted for forty days before starting his active ministry. Where Moses encountered God. Where David turned from a shepherd to a leader and a King, and more, a man after God’s own heart.  Where Elijah in the throes of a nervous breakdown hears God in a gentle whisper. 
England, where I live, like most of the world is going through a desert experience of continuing partial lockdowns. Covid-19 spreads through human contact and social life, and so we must refrain from those great pleasures. We are invited to the desert, a harsh place where pruning can occur, and spiritual fruitfulness.
A plague like this has not been known for a hundred years... John Piper, after his cancer diagnosis, exhorted people, “Don’t Waste Your Cancer”—since this was the experience God permitted you to have, and He can bring gold from it. Pandemics and plagues are permitted (though not willed or desired) by a Sovereign God, and he can bring life-change out of them. 
Let us not waste this unwanted, unchosen pandemic, this opportunity for silence, solitude and reflection. Let’s not squander on endless Zoom calls—or on the internet, which, if not used wisely, will only raise anxiety levels. Let’s instead accept the invitation to increased silence and reflection
Let's use the extra free time that many of us have long coveted and which has now been given us by Covid-19 restrictions to seek the face of God. To seek revelation. To pray. 
And to work on those projects of our hearts which have been smothered by noise, busyness, and the tumult of people and parties. To nurture the fragile dreams still alive in our hearts. The long-deferred duty or vocation
So, we are about eight weeks into lockdown, and I So, we are about eight weeks into lockdown, and I have totally sunk into the rhythm of it, and have got quiet, very quiet, the quietest spell of time I have had as an adult.
I like it. I will find going back to the sometimes frenetic merry-go-round of my old life rather hard. Well, I doubt I will go back to it. I will prune some activities, and generally live more intentionally and mindfully.
I have started blocking internet of my phone and laptop for longer periods of time, and that has brought a lot of internal quiet and peace.
Some of the things I have enjoyed during lockdown have been my daily long walks, and gardening. Well, and reading and working on a longer piece of work.
Here are some images from my walks.
And if you missed it, a blog about maintaining peace in the middle of the storm of a global pandemic
https://anitamathias.com/2020/05/04/a-mind-of-life-and-peace/  #walking #contemplating #beauty #oxford #pandemic
A few walks in Oxford in the time of quarantine. A few walks in Oxford in the time of quarantine.  We can maintain a mind of life and peace during this period of lockdown by being mindful of our minds, and regulating them through meditation; being mindful of our bodies and keeping them happy by exercise and yoga; and being mindful of our emotions in this uncertain time, and trusting God who remains in charge. A new blog on maintaining a mind of life and peace during lockdown https://anitamathias.com/2020/05/04/a-mind-of-life-and-peace/
In the days when one could still travel, i.e. Janu In the days when one could still travel, i.e. January 2020, which seems like another life, all four of us spent 10 days in Malta. I unplugged, and logged off social media, so here are some belated iphone photos of a day in Valetta.
Today, of course, there’s a lockdown, and the country’s leader is in intensive care.
When the world is too much with us, and the news stresses us, moving one’s body, as in yoga or walking, calms the mind. I am doing some Yoga with Adriene, and again seeing the similarities between the practice of Yoga and the practice of following Christ.
https://anitamathias.com/2020/04/06/on-yoga-and-following-jesus/
#valleta #valletamalta #travel #travelgram #uncagedbird
Images from some recent walks in Oxford. I am copi Images from some recent walks in Oxford.
I am coping with lockdown by really, really enjoying my daily 4 mile walk. By savouring the peace of wild things. By trusting that God will bring good out of this. With a bit of yoga, and weights. And by working a fair amount in my garden. And reading.
How are you doing?
#oxford #oxfordinlockdown #lockdown #walk #lockdownwalks #peace #beauty #happiness #joy #thepeaceofwildthings
Images of walks in Oxford in this time of social d Images of walks in Oxford in this time of social distancing. The first two are my own garden.  And I’ve https://anitamathias.com/2020/03/28/silver-and-gold-linings-in-the-storm-clouds-of-coronavirus/ #corona #socialdistancing #silverlinings #silence #solitude #peace
Trust: A Message of Christmas He came to earth in Trust: A Message of Christmas  He came to earth in a  splash of energy
And gentleness and humility.
That homeless baby in the barn
Would be the lynchpin on which history would ever after turn
Who would have thought it?
But perhaps those attuned to God’s way of surprises would not be surprised.
He was already at the centre of all things, connecting all things. * * *
Augustus Caesar issued a decree which brought him to Bethlehem,
The oppressions of colonialism and conquest brought the Messiah exactly where he was meant to be, the place prophesied eight hundred years before his birth by the Prophet Micah.
And he was already redeeming all things. The shame of unwed motherhood; the powerlessness of poverty.
He was born among animals in a barn, animals enjoying the sweetness of life, animals he created, animals precious to him.
For he created all things, and in him all things hold together
Including stars in the sky, of which a new one heralded his birth
Drawing astronomers to him.
And drawing him to the attention of an angry King
As angelic song drew shepherds to him.
An Emperor, a King, scholars, shepherds, angels, animals, stars, an unwed mother
All things in heaven and earth connected
By a homeless baby
The still point on which the world still turns. The powerful centre. The only true power.
The One who makes connections. * * *
And there is no end to the wisdom, the crystal glints of the Message that birth brings.
To me, today, it says, “Fear not, trust me, I will make a way.” The baby lay gentle in the barn
And God arranges for new stars, angelic song, wise visitors with needed finances for his sustenance in the swiftly-coming exile, shepherds to underline the anointing and reassure his parents. “Trust me in your dilemmas,” the baby still says, “I will make a way. I will show it to you.” Happy Christmas everyone.  https://anitamathias.com/2019/12/24/trust-a-message-of-christmas/ #christmas #gemalderieberlin #trust #godwillmakeaway
Look, I’ve designed a journal. It’s an omnibus Look, I’ve designed a journal. It’s an omnibus Gratitude journal, habit tracker, food and exercise journal, bullet journal, with time sheets, goal sheets and a Planner. Everything you’d like to track.  Here’s a post about it with ISBNs https://anitamathias.com/2019/12/23/life-changing-journalling/. Check it out. I hope you and your kids like it!
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