Balder the beautiful
Is dead, is dead,
My friend Paul Miller, also a Christian writer (“Love Walked among us,” the first drafts of which I edited, “A Praying Life” etc) told me about the Norwegian pastor, O. Hallesby’s wonderful book on prayer.
In particular, Paul pointed out a paragraph. I paraphrase–Your secret life with Christ in the secret places of prayer is a cosy, warm Norwegian cottage in a blustery winter. If you talk about your prayer life, you open the door, and cold wintry blasts enter.
I am sure Hallesby is right. Also, one cannot talk about spiritual adventuring without some degree of showing-off or putting oneself on a pedestal. Look at Paul the Apostle in this amusing passage, struggling with dual impulses,
a) to tell all–to describe his amazing spiritual experiences, probably among his most precious possessions,
b) to keep secret this sacred, precious and most dear thing.
Although there is nothing to be gained, I will go on to visions and revelations from the Lord. 2I know a man in Christ who fourteen years ago was caught up to the third heaven. Whether it was in the body or out of the body I do not know—God knows. 3And I know that this man—whether in the body or apart from the body I do not know, but God knows— 4was caught up to paradise. He heard inexpressible things, things that man is not permitted to tell. 5I will boast about a man like that, but I will not boast about myself, except about my weaknesses. 6Even if I should choose to boast, I would not be a fool, because I would be speaking the truth. But I refrain, so no one will think more of me than is warranted by what I do or say.
I have written, in another context, that if one is looking for a business niche, the best way to find it is to look for the intersection of your own deep joy (interests, abilities, talents) and the world’s deep need, to quote Frederick Buechner.http://theoxfordchristian.blogspot.com/2010/08/amazing-business-success-story-story-of.html http://theoxfordchristian.blogspot.com/2010/08/christian-in-business-further-thoughts.html
The same is true for a writer looking for a subject. Though, of course, after a certain age, one doesn’t look for subjects any more, they come up and grab your by the throat, many of them, all at once.
I have both studied and taught Creative Writing at universities. A common writing adage goes like this, “If there is a book you would like to read, and it does not exist, why then, of course, you must write it.”
There is a blog or website I would love to bookmark, but I haven’t yet quite found it. I spend many hours at my laptop to which, I openly confess, I am somewhat addicted. I help run our family’s publishing company, Benediction Classics, I write. And blog. All of which add up to much screen time.
“Much study is a weariness to the flesh, and of making books there is no end. ” In these times of weariness, I have often wished for a spiritual pick-me-up, an equivalent of a cappuccino and chocolate bar, to encourage and refill a weary and empty soul, something more modern than Habakkuk or Isaiah, someone wrestling with my dilemmas, but handling them better.
And since, I didn’t find a blog updated daily, an evolving diary of a soul, something like a spiritual multi-vitamin, I thought I might try to write one.
That would be a blessing to my readers.
But I have not found the answer to many of my wonderings. The spiritual life is full of highs and lows. One moment, you are with Christ on the mountain, seeing him and everything else transfigured, you behold his glory, you behold Moses and Elijah, you see reality in a different light, you are transformed.
And then you walk down the mountain, and you are now cocky and arrogant, and presume to advise Christ, and to your horror, he, who once said to you, “Blessed are you, Simon Bar-Jonah” now says, “Get behind me, Satan, for you do not have in mind the things of God, but the things of man.”
So how does a Christian writer chronicle her spiritual life without the appearance of showing off? Or without, in fact, showing off! Is it even appropriate to write about a deep, sacred, intimate and precious relationship on the web? It would be like writing about the most private moments of marriage, which even I, who am always writing, would never dream of doing.
I don’t have an answer, but I think I might use the blessing test more severely. If what I am writing is, or might be a blessing to my readers, I’ll press, “Publish Post.” If not, it joins my multi-volume drafts folder!