Anita Mathias: Dreaming Beneath the Spires

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Facebook posts from June

By Anita Mathias







It’s a fab sunny June here in Oxford; the light filters golden through the thick green leaves in our paddock. Irene is off at the moment, rehearsing as Lady Capulet in Creation Theatre’s Workshop production of Romeo and Juliet. Building work commences on our new 12 by 18 foot conservatory mid-month, and we are having our last garden party in the “old” garden the day before it. Should be fun!

01 June at 18:50 ·






Anita Mathias “Abraham believed God, and it was credited to him as righteousness, and he was called God’s friend” James 2.23. Cool, how low that bar is. Believe God. And it’s one of life’s cooler experiences when your thoughts naturally turn towards Him, through the day, and in wakeful nights, until you realize that God, incredibly, mysteriously, is your friend.

A promise fulfilled. My father took up yoga at 57. Never health-conscious, he became superbly fit, did a hour of yoga daily, walked for an hour, and died a spry 89 in 2005. I promised myself that when I became older and weaker, I would take up yoga. How old is “older”? IT’S NOW! I took my first (Iyengar) yoga class ever last night, and LOVED it. I plan to take it up seriously, forget tai-chi and street dance for now

03 June at 10:28






We’re celebrating Irene’s 10th birthday this weekend-a sleepover for 8 girls, in tents, in our paddock. Don’t tell me I’m crazy! “Insanity is doing the same thing, but expecting different results.” We had a camping sleepover for 22 people, children & adults for Zoe’s 9th birthday, & it was one of the most memorable experiences of her young life–so I’m hoping for a similarly memorable (note: low bar here!) experience

04 June






It’s raining! Pls pray we have gr8 weather for Irene’s camp-out tomorrow at 5. Roy just pointed out that I’m going to two parties before Irene’s–a Writers in Oxford party at 7.30 tonight and a leaving party tomorrow at 2. “Getting into the party spirit?” he asked with some irony. Luckily Lena, our super-wonderful Brazilian cleaning lady, has offered to do an extra session of cleaning and set-up for “the childrens!”

05 Jun






Sleepover update. I now have five little girls installed in a tent with a midnight feast, telling GHOST STORIES!! I remember doing that myself, a kind of innoculation, chasing out terror with terror. Zoe, Roy, & her friends are struggling to put up a 70ies style tent E. brought, but Roy is of the hardly ever say die school; he’ll figure it out! I did get to both my parties, and we did get everything peacefully done.

06 June at 22:04 ·

Filed Under: random

Facebook posts from May

By Anita Mathias




Zoe is on a Duke of Edinburgh expedition, and it is monsoonishly RAINING. She slept in a tent while we used duvets and heat. I love camping too, (provided Roy and Zoe make camp) but not in the wet. We heard the amazing and energetic Heidi Baker yesterday at Aldates. Her faith and joy are contagious, and she is the best speaker, with the most electric, unself-conscious, self-confident delivery, that I have ever heard

17 May



We laughed so hard when a very wet, very bedraggled, rather lame Zoe, clothes inside-out and hair wild, came back from a 15 mile Duke of Edinburgh expedition (on which she carried 22 pounds, and camped out). It’s rainy, so our main adventures today are literary–I am enjoying reading Swallows and Amazons by Arthur Ransome to Irene.

18 May



Anita Mathias has played a game of tennis with her family. And lifted weights with her personal trainer. Is sore. And sorry. For herself. Am looking forward to our holiday in Wales this weekend–a day in the Brecon Beacons, a day in the National Botanical Garden of Wales in Cardiff, and a day on beaches


Quel est le mot en Francais pour.? After 4 months of Alliance Francaise French conversation classes, I’m no longer saying that quite so much. The instructor solemnly begun by teaching us Merde and Putain on our first class, and, literally and figuratively, it was all uphill after that. I love French, but no longer acquire languages as quickly and easily as I did in my twenties. Those stubborn grey hairs I henna out!

20 May



Anita Mathias just spent 3 lovely days in fabulous Wales. Our family stayed in the Brecon Beacons National Park, instant relaxation–classic woodland views of boulder and pebble-choked steams; fat, long-tailed lambs. Liked the Vaughan steam and canal walk of the beloved metaphysical poet. ++ National Botanical Garden of Wales, which we explored until hobble-footed exhaustion. Zoe & Irene loved Wales and didn’t want to return home.

26 May



Anita Mathias is pleased with herself. I went to a street dance class at Esporta, in a mirror-walled room with a bunch of women mostly half as old, and twice as fit! I (mostly) enjoyed the leaping and sashaying! Mid-life crises are fun things. One tries new things. And stops caring what people think. I then had a facial. AND forced Roy to get his first haircut in 20 years! He usually cuts his hair himself. Or worse, gets me to!

27 May



Anita Mathias visited the sweet Lister family in Faringdon yesterday, had the best BBQ, and walked up to Faringdon Folly Tower–fab views of the White Horse in Uffington. Today I had my Somerville friend Ruth to lunch. Woke late, focused on returning wrongfully scattered kids’ art projects and books to their rightful owners, realizing 10 minutes AFTER Ruth came that I had forgotten to shop! Roy to the rescue!


Remove

Anita Mathias Zoe has just come back tired and happy from five days in Cornwall with her friends Laura and Eleanor. They were supposed to be revising for their end of year exams. In Cornwall? Well, Zoe says she feels well-prepared. As for me, I did a taster session of tai-chi with an instructor at Esporta. It seemed a lot of nonsense, until we came to the dancing part, when we moved from prose to poetry. I think I’ll try it again!

30 May at 22:18

Filed Under: random

Facebook posts from May

By Anita Mathias



Massive but brief hailstorm here! Irene turned 10. 10 years of our little rose and sunbeam. Mixed metaphors, but I couldn’t decide! She’s going to have a camping sleepover as Zoe had for her 9th birthday. I’m praying for good weather, grace, miracles and sleep!

08 May


Chess-y weeks. Irene played for Oxfordshire in the U11 National Finals yesterday, winning all 3 of her games. She was also selected to represent the West of England last Monday in a West vs. East of England U11 chess tournament. Won 5 out of her 6 games in the Oxfordshire mega-final. But it adds busyness to our lives. Now why did we get that girl into chess?

10 May


“Recalled to life”–the theme of the first book of The Tale of Two Cities, which our family is listening to in the car. That’s how I feel– for various reasons! On the culture front, our family watched the Druid Theatre’s wonderful production of The Playboy of the Western World at the Oxford Playhouse–hilarious comedy and/of cruelty. I love Irish accents!!

11 May


I am looking forward to listening to Heidi Baker this weekend–always a mini-watershed experience in my Christian life. I have a spare ticket if someone wants it. Also reading the Don Camillo stories again with the greatest refreshment and delight. They make me laugh. I love Guareschi’s deceptively simple style.

13 May


Anita &  family have signed up for a membership at Esporta, The Oxfordshire Health and Racquets Club. I thought of all the yoga, tai-chi, dance, weights, tennis and badminton I might do, and developed a massive cold. I do have three sessions with a personal trainer booked though. Zoe is now in her school’s tennis team and she and Irene love tennis, badminton and swimming, so they’ll use it, as, teeth gritted, shall I!

14 May


The birds were manically happy this morning. And cuckoos really do sing cuck-ooo which never ceases to amuse me. Am reading a really fab. book about prayer–the greatest power and adventure and joy in the world (okay, one of them!). Worship is another. And many of the things on this blessed earth qualify…

Filed Under: random

Facebook posts from April

By Anita Mathias




Another gorgeous bright April day. I enjoyed a solitary walk in the country. Am gripped by Jon Krakauer’s book “Into Thin Air” about the tragic Everest 1996 expedition, full of fatal flaws, and am also trying to get back into a writing routine. Also reading “A Man’s Reach,” a spiritual autobiography by Glenn Clark with interest and amusement. 


Kids back at school, so long, quiet spring days, which I’m really enjoying.


Another manically bird-loud day. Lovely wildflowers springing up in our paddock and the fields around us. Our apple trees have delicate pink blossom; the cherry trees are covered with profuse white blossoms. Feel talked out after Writers in Oxford’s monthly Drinks and Digressions (aptly named!) and a fun parents’ reception at Zoe’s school. What an interesting, diverse bunch of parents!

23 April at 21:50



Though generally the hearts of both adults and children sink at the words “Family Service,” we had good ones this Easter at St. Aldate’s. Jesus after his resurrection was as pithy, trenchant and incisive as ever, and his questions cut, once again, to the heart of the matter. His first words, practically, “Why are you weeping?” And then, “Be not faithless, but believing.” These two sentences are connected, somehow!

24 April at 22:25 ·



We went on a family walk and picnic to Lovell Minster, a picturesque ruined stately home by the River Windrush. The ruins blend in with the beauty of the natural surroundings better than the pretentious manor probably did. Huge bright yellow marsh marigolds bloomed in the water meadows. A picturesque dovecote! The river Windrush not only has a poetic name, but is so peaceful and tranquil. Another perfect April day!

25 April at 20:47 ·



Zoe, 14, is a gourmet cook. She tackled a 20 lb roast goose, with onion, mushroom and giblet gravy & complex stuffing. I, on the other hand, would like to live in the fairy-tale land of Cockaigne, where roast pigs run down the streets, squealing Roast Me, Roast Me, and there is no swine fever! Even better is heaven where, acc. to Revelation, never shall we hunger or thirst, and God shall wipe every tear from our eyes

28 April



Roy and I walked in Oxford University’s Harcourt Arboretum today. The bluebell woods were magical, spectacular–a sea of blue, waving and dancing in the dappled sunlight. It was like fairyland (whatever that is like!), an out of this world experience. The azaleas, camellias and rhododendron were also in full bloom. Absolutely lovely. I love spring!!

29 April

Filed Under: random

More Facebook posts from April

By Anita Mathias




Anita Mathias Irene’s class is doing Joseph and the Technicolour Dreamcoat at school. Irene’s now crazy about Lloyd Webber musicals, so all of us watched The Phantom of the Opera last night, for the first time. Irene was terrified, and screwed her eyes shut, and now wants to watch the whole thing again while the sun is shining.

13 April at 12:37



I and the the cleaning lady have cleaned out Irene’s room today. It is like the Room of Requirement in Harry Potter, Zoe says. Whatever we needed and missed is to be found there–under her bed!!


Irene has spent the last two days in an adventure camp, learning archery, fencing, kayaking and juggling. The girl sure didn’t get those genes from me!! Zoe has read 3 Twilight books in a row. Will someone PLEASE tell me what’s the deal with teenage girls and VAMPIRES?


Just watched La Cage Aux Folles, and laughed hard at bits: Still in old French comedy mode. Reading Mary Norton’s The Borrowers Afield to Irene, and loving her descriptions of the natural world. Very much like lovely Garsington in bloom around us!

17 April at 23:33



Anita Mathias painted my kitchen and bathroom–first house-painting of my life. It was so satisfying that I could do for a livelihood (if the time could be leveraged). I am insufferably pleased with myself. Roy said, “Well, if THAT’S painting, why do people charge so much for it?” But there’s no one right way to paint–or do anything else!


“It’s as if we’re hiding the evidence of a crime!”– Zoe’s comment as we put the house through a thorough tidy-up before the visit of an old college friend, who is a good housekeeper. Come on, spring–we’re ready!

19 April at 18:01 · Comment · Like

Filed Under: random

Lilies by Mary Oliver

By Anita Mathias

calla-flower-14Lilies

A poem by Mary Oliver

I have been thinking
about living
like the lilies
that blow in the fields.

They rise and fall
in the edge of the wind,
and have no shelter
from the tongues of the cattle,

and have no closets or cupboards,
and have no legs.
Still I would like to be
as wonderful

as the old idea.
But if I were a lily
I think I would wait all day
for the green face

of the hummingbird
to touch me.
What I mean is,
could I forget myself

even in those feathery fields?
When Van Gogh
preached to the poor
of coarse he wanted to save someone–

most of all himself.
He wasn’t a lily,
and wandering through the bright fields
only gave him more ideas

it would take his life to solve.
I think I will always be lonely
in this world, where the cattle
graze like a black and white river–

where the vanishing lilies
melt, without protest, on their tongues–
where the hummingbird, whenever there is a fuss,
just rises and floats away.

 

Filed Under: random

Ithaca by Constantine Cavafy

By Anita Mathias



There is as much joy, as much of richness and knowledge in the journey as in the destination.

Ithaca

When you set out on your journey to Ithaca,
pray that the road is long,
full of adventure, full of knowledge.
The Lestrygonians and the Cyclops,
the angry Poseidon — do not fear them:
You will never find such as these on your path,
if your thoughts remain lofty, if a fine
emotion touches your spirit and your body.
The Lestrygonians and the Cyclops,
the fierce Poseidon you will never encounter,
if you do not carry them within your soul,
if your soul does not set them up before you.

Pray that the road is long.
That the summer mornings are many, when,
with such pleasure, with such joy
you will enter ports seen for the first time;

stop at Phoenician markets,
and purchase fine merchandise,
mother-of-pearl and coral, amber and ebony,
and sensual perfumes of all kinds,
as many sensual perfumes as you can;
visit many Egyptian cities,
to learn and learn from scholars.

Always keep Ithaca in your mind.
To arrive there is your ultimate goal.
But do not hurry the voyage at all.
It is better to let it last for many years;

and to anchor at the island when you are old,
rich with all you have gained on the way,
not expecting that Ithaca will offer you riches.

Ithaca has given you the beautiful voyage.
Without her you would have never set out on the road.
She has nothing more to give you
.

And if you find her poor, Ithaca has not deceived you.
Wise as you have become, with so much experience,
you must already have understood what Ithacas mean.

Constantine P. Cavafy (1911) 

Filed Under: random

The Lord is my Pacemaker by Toki Miyashina

By Anita Mathias

 

The Lord is my Pacemaker

The Lord is my pacemaker – I shall not rush.
He makes me stop and rest for quiet intervals:
He provides me with images of stillness,
Which restore my serenity.
He leads me in ways of efficiency
Through calmness of mind, and His guidance is peace.

Even though I have a great many things
To accomplish each day, I will not fret –
for His Presence is here:
His timelessness, His importance will keep me in balance.

He prepares refreshment and renewal
In the midst of my activity,
By anointing my mind with his oils of tranquility.
My cup of joyous energy overflows.

Surely harmony and effectiveness
Shall be the fruits of my hours;
For I shall walk in His house forever.

 

 

A version of the 23rd Psalm
by Toki Miyashina.

 

Filed Under: random Tagged With: Psalm 23, The Lord is my Pacemaker, Toki Miyashina

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anita.mathias

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Oxford, England. Writer, memoirist, podcaster, blogger, Biblical meditation teacher, mum

Hi Friends, I have taped a meditation; do listen a Hi Friends, I have taped a meditation; do listen at this link: https://anitamathias.com/2025/04/08/the-kingdom-of-god-is-here-already-yet-not-yet-here-2/
It’s on the Kingdom of God, of which Christ so often spoke, which is here already—a mysterious, shimmering internal palace in which, in lightning flashes, we experience peace and joy, and yet, of course, not yet fully here. We sense the rainbowed presence of Christ in the song which pulses through creation. Christ strolls into our rooms with his wisdom and guidance, and things change. Our prayers are answered; we are healed; our hearts are strangely warmed. Sometimes.
And yet, we also experience evil within & all around us. Our own sin which can shatter our peace and the trajectory of our lives. And the sins of the world—its greed, dishonesty and environmental destruction.
But in this broken world, we still experience the glory of creation; “coincidences” which accelerate once we start praying, and shalom which envelops us like sudden sunshine. The portals into this Kingdom include repentance, gratitude, meditative breathing, and absolute surrender.
The Kingdom of God is here already. We can experience its beauty, peace and joy today through the presence of the Holy Spirit. But yet, since, in the Apostle Paul’s words, we do not struggle only “against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the unseen powers of this dark world and against the spiritual forces of evil,” its fullness still lingers…
Our daughter Zoe was ordained into the Church of E Our daughter Zoe was ordained into the Church of England in June. I have been on a social media break… but … better late than never. Enjoy!
First picture has my sister, Shalini, who kindly flew in from the US. Our lovely cousins Anthony and Sarah flank Zoe in the next picture.
The Bishop of London, Sarah Mullaly, ordained Zoe. You can see her praying that Zoe will be filled with the Holy Spirit!!
And here’s a meditation I’ve recorded, which you might enjoy. The link is also in my profile
https://anitamathias.com/2024/11/07/all-those-who-exalt-themselves-will-be-humbled-the-humble-will-be-exalted/
I have taped a meditation on Jesus statement in Ma I have taped a meditation on Jesus statement in Matthew 23, “For those who exalt themselves will be humbled, and those who humble themselves will be exalted.”
Do listen here. https://anitamathias.com/2024/11/07/all-those-who-exalt-themselves-will-be-humbled-the-humble-will-be-exalted/
Link also in bio.
And so, Jesus states a law of life. Those who broadcast their amazingness will be humbled, since God dislikes—scorns that, as much as people do.  For to trumpet our success, wealth, brilliance, giftedness or popularity is to get distracted from our life’s purpose into worthless activity. Those who love power, who are sure they know best, and who must be the best, will eventually be humbled by God and life. For their focus has shifted from loving God, doing good work, and being a blessing to their family, friends, and the world towards impressing others, being enviable, perhaps famous. These things are houses built on sand, which will crumble when hammered by the waves of old age, infirmity or adversity. 
God resists the proud, Scripture tells us—those who crave the admiration and power which is His alone. So how do we resist pride? We slow down, so that we realise (and repent) when sheer pride sparks our allergies to people, our enmities, our determination to have our own way, or our grandiose ego-driven goals, and ambitions. Once we stop chasing limelight, a great quietness steals over our lives. We no longer need the drug of continual achievement, or to share images of glittering travel, parties, prizes or friends. We just enjoy them quietly. My life is for itself & not for a spectacle, Emerson wrote. And, as Jesus advises, we quit sharp-elbowing ourselves to sit with the shiniest people, but are content to hang out with ordinary people; and then, as Jesus said, we will inevitably, eventually, be summoned higher to the sparkling conversation we craved. 
One day, every knee will bow before the gentle lamb who was slain, now seated on the throne. We will all be silent before him. Let us live gently then, our eyes on Christ, continually asking for his power, his Spirit, and his direction, moving, dancing, in the direction that we sense him move.
Link to new podcast in Bio https://anitamathias.co Link to new podcast in Bio https://anitamathias.com/2024/02/20/how-jesus-dealt-with-hostility-and-enemies/
3 days before his death, Jesus rampages through the commercialised temple, overturning the tables of moneychangers. Who gave you the authority to do these things? his outraged adversaries ask. And Jesus shows us how to answer hostile questions. Slow down. Breathe. Quick arrow prayers!
Your enemies have no power over your life that your Father has not permitted them. Ask your Father for wisdom, remembering: Questions do not need to be answered. Are these questioners worthy of the treasures of your heart? Or would that be feeding pearls to hungry pigs, who might instead devour you?
Questions can contain pitfalls, traps, nooses. Jesus directly answered just three of the 183 questions he was asked, refusing to answer some; answering others with a good question.
But how do we get the inner calm and wisdom to recognise
and sidestep entrapping questions? Long before the day of
testing, practice slow, easy breathing, and tune in to the frequency of the Father. There’s no record of Jesus running, rushing, getting stressed, or lacking peace. He never spoke on his own, he told us, without checking in with the Father. So, no foolish, ill-judged statements. Breathing in the wisdom of the Father beside and within him, he, unintimidated, traps the trappers.
Wisdom begins with training ourselves to slow down and ask
the Father for guidance. Then our calm minds, made perceptive, will help us recognise danger and trick questions, even those coated in flattery, and sidestep them or refuse to answer.
We practice tuning in to heavenly wisdom by practising–asking God questions, and then listening for his answers about the best way to do simple things…organise a home or write. Then, we build upwards, asking for wisdom in more complex things.
Listening for the voice of God before we speak, and asking for a filling of the Spirit, which Jesus calls streams of living water within us, will give us wisdom to know what to say, which, frequently, is nothing at all. It will quieten us with the silence of God, which sings through the world, through sun and stars, sky and flowers.
Especially for @ samheckt Some very imperfect pi Especially for @ samheckt 
Some very imperfect pictures of my labradoodle Merry, and golden retriever Pippi.
And since, I’m on social media, if you are the meditating type, here’s a scriptural meditation on not being afraid, while being prudent. https://anitamathias.com/2024/01/03/do-not-be-afraid-but-do-be-prudent/
A new podcast. Link in bio https://anitamathias.c A new podcast. Link in bio
https://anitamathias.com/2024/01/03/do-not-be-afraid-but-do-be-prudent/
Do Not Be Afraid, but Do Be Prudent
“Do not be afraid,” a dream-angel tells Joseph, to marry Mary, who’s pregnant, though a virgin, for in our magical, God-invaded world, the Spirit has placed God in her. Call the baby Jesus, or The Lord saves, for he will drag people free from the chokehold of their sins.
And Joseph is not afraid. And the angel was right, for a star rose, signalling a new King of the Jews. Astrologers followed it, threatening King Herod, whose chief priests recounted Micah’s 600-year-old prophecy: the Messiah would be born in Bethlehem, as Jesus had just been, while his parents from Nazareth registered for Augustus Caesar’s census of the entire Roman world. 
The Magi worshipped the baby, offering gold. And shepherds came, told by an angel of joy: that the Messiah, a saviour from all that oppresses, had just been born.
Then, suddenly, the dream-angel warned: Flee with the child to Egypt. For Herod plans to kill this baby, forever-King.
Do not be afraid, but still flee? Become a refugee? But lightning-bolt coincidences verified the angel’s first words: The magi with gold for the flight. Shepherds
telling of angels singing of coming inner peace. Joseph flees.
What’s the difference between fear and prudence? Fear is being frozen or panicked by imaginary what-ifs. It tenses our bodies; strains health, sleep and relationships; makes us stingy with ourselves & others; leads to overwork, & time wasted doing pointless things for fear of people’s opinions.
Prudence is wisdom-using our experience & spiritual discernment as we battle the demonic forces of this dark world, in Paul’s phrase.It’s fighting with divinely powerful weapons: truth, righteousness, faith, Scripture & prayer, while surrendering our thoughts to Christ. 
So let’s act prudently, wisely & bravely, silencing fear, while remaining alert to God’s guidance, delivered through inner peace or intuitions of danger and wrongness, our spiritual senses tuned to the Spirit’s “No,” his “Slow,” his “Go,” as cautious as a serpent, protected, while being as gentle as a lamb among wolves.
Link to post with podcast link in Bio or https://a Link to post with podcast link in Bio or https://anitamathias.com/2023/09/22/dont-walk-away-from-jesus-but-if-you-do-he-still-looks-at-you-and-loves-you/
Jesus came from a Kingdom of voluntary gentleness, in which
Christ, the Lion of Judah, stands at the centre of the throne in the guise of a lamb, looking as if it had been slain. No wonder his disciples struggled with his counter-cultural values. Oh, and we too!
The mother of the Apostles James and John, asks Jesus for a favour—that once He became King, her sons got the most important, prestigious seats at court, on his right and left. And the other ten, who would have liked the fame, glory, power,limelight and honour themselves are indignant and threatened.
Oh-oh, Jesus says. Who gets five talents, who gets one,
who gets great wealth and success, who doesn’t–that the
Father controls. Don’t waste your one precious and fleeting
life seeking to lord it over others or boss them around.
But, in his wry kindness, he offers the ambitious twelve
and us something better than the second or third place.
He tells us how to actually be the most important person to
others at work, in our friend group, social circle, or church:Use your talents, gifts, and energy to bless others.
And we instinctively know Jesus is right. The greatest people in our lives are the kind people who invested in us, guided us and whose wise, radiant words are engraved on our hearts.
Wanting to sit with the cleverest, most successful, most famous people is the path of restlessness and discontent. The competition is vast. But seek to see people, to listen intently, to be kind, to empathise, and doors fling wide open for you, you rare thing!
The greatest person is the one who serves, Jesus says. Serves by using the one, two, or five talents God has given us to bless others, by finding a place where our deep gladness and the world’s deep hunger meet. By writing which is a blessing, hospitality, walking with a sad friend, tidying a house.
And that is the only greatness worth having. That you yourself,your life and your work are a blessing to others. That the love and wisdom God pours into you lives in people’s hearts and minds, a blessing
https://anitamathias.com/.../dont-walk-away-from-j https://anitamathias.com/.../dont-walk-away-from-jesus.../
Sharing this podcast I recorded last week. LINK IN BIO
So Jesus makes a beautiful offer to the earnest, moral young man who came to him, seeking a spiritual life. Remarkably, the young man claims that he has kept all the commandments from his youth, including the command to love one’s neighbour as oneself, a statement Jesus does not challenge.
The challenge Jesus does offers him, however, the man cannot accept—to sell his vast possessions, give the money to the poor, and follow Jesus encumbered.
He leaves, grieving, and Jesus looks at him, loves him, and famously observes that it’s easier for a camel to squeeze through the eye of a needle than for a rich person to live in the world of wonders which is living under Christ’s kingship, guidance and protection. 
He reassures his dismayed disciples, however, that with God even the treasure-burdened can squeeze into God’s kingdom, “for with God, all things are possible.”
Following him would quite literally mean walking into a world of daily wonders, and immensely rich conversation, walking through Israel, Lebanon, Syria, and Jordan, quite impossible to do with suitcases and backpacks laden with treasure. 
For what would we reject God’s specific, internally heard whisper or directive, a micro-call? That is the idol which currently grips and possesses us. 
Not all of us have great riches, nor is money everyone’s greatest temptation—it can be success, fame, universal esteem, you name it…
But, since with God all things are possible, even those who waver in their pursuit of God can still experience him in fits and snatches, find our spirits singing on a walk or during worship in church, or find our hearts strangely warmed by Scripture, and, sometimes, even “see” Christ stand before us. 
For Christ looks at us, Christ loves us, and says, “With God, all things are possible,” even we, the flawed, entering his beautiful Kingdom.
https://anitamathias.com/2023/09/07/how-to-find-th https://anitamathias.com/2023/09/07/how-to-find-the-freedom-of-forgiveness/
How to Find the Freedom of Forgiveness
Letting go on anger and forgiving is both an emotional transaction & a decision of the will. We discover we cannot command our emotions to forgive and relinquish anger. So how do we find the space and clarity of forgiveness in our mind, spirit & emotions?
When tormenting memories surface, our cortisol, adrenaline, blood pressure, and heart rate all rise. It’s good to take a literally quick walk with Jesus, to calm this neurological and physiological storm. And then honestly name these emotions… for feelings buried alive never die.
Then, in a process called “the healing of memories,” mentally visualise the painful scene, seeing Christ himself there, his eyes brimming with compassion. Ask Christ to heal the sting, to draw the poison from these memories of experiences. We are caterpillars in a ring of fire, as Martin Luther wrote--unable to rescue ourselves. We need help from above.
Accept what happened. What happened, happened. Then, as the Apostle Paul advises, give thanks in everything, though not for everything. Give thanks because God can bring good out of the swindle and the injustice. Ask him to bring magic and beauty from the ashes.
If, like the persistent widow Jesus spoke of, you want to pray for justice--that the swindler and the abusers’ characters are revealed, so many are protected, then do so--but first, purify your own life.
And now, just forgive. Say aloud, I forgive you for … You are setting a captive free. Yourself. Come alive. Be free. 
And when memories of deep injuries arise, say: “No. No. Not going there.” Stop repeating the devastating story to yourself or anyone else. Don’t waste your time & emotional energy, nor let yourself be overwhelmed by anger at someone else’s evil actions. Don’t let the past poison today. Refuse to allow reinjury. Deliberately think instead of things noble, lovely, admirable, excellent, and praiseworthy.
So keep trying, in obedience, to forgive, to let go of your anger until you suddenly realise that you have forgiven, and can remember past events without agitation. God be with us!
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