Anita Mathias: Dreaming Beneath the Spires

Anita Mathias's Blog on Faith and Art

In which I Succumb to Family Games

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We’ve used the last week of the Easter holidays to play lots of Family Games –Whist, Rummy, Go Fish and Cheat. Articulate and Taboo

. Roy and I were together for the former and steam-rollered the children. To our astonishment, they won at Taboo. As I overheard Zoe tell Irene beforehand, “It will be okay, Mum and Dad don’t even know how to do Bendy Bob. Or to draw!”
When they were younger, I preferred to read to them rather than play games–a bit of fanatic about learning–but  Irene in particular, loves family games!

Garden of delight, April 16th

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Well, we’ve been away for two weeks, and on our return did big household project, bookshelves, unpacking, decluttering. So I just enjoyed the paddock today during my run.
The changes in the garden in the last three weeks are amazing. Queen Anne’s Lace along the garden paths, cowslips, lots of daffodils, arum italicum, hellebores. Nature is blooming!!

Easter Holidays in France (from Facebook).

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Despite several trips, have still not got used to the wonder of driving to Europe! Explored the 13th century Gothic Reims Cathedral today, where Joan of Arc crowned the Dauphin. I think I can never get enough of cathedrals, especially Gothic cathedrals. Noble architecture, and the Rose and stained glass windows, dusty and dark from the outside, full of light and magic from the inside (like the Christian faith!).









Reims, the traditional coronation Cathedral of the Kings of France, is massive–like a forest of noble columns. The stained glass windows were breathtaking. All that love and artistry lavished on tiny figures, 100s of feet above ground, barely discernible by the naked eye. Art for its own sake & for the sake of God. The cold stone cathedral was a monument to humankind’s love for God–& the inspiration that provides!









Spent today in Dijon. Lovely Gothic Burgundian cathedral of Notre Dame, and a renaissance Cathedral of Saint Michel within a stone’s throw of each other. An architecturally dense walking city, beautiful and magical old buildings, lots of eye candy (as well as the gingerbread they are famous for, as well as….you guessed it!


The 13th century Cathedral of Notre Dame was packed with French people of every generation and class, queueing up in various stations for Easter confession. Sweet faced people praying quietly in every church we visited… There is much that is sweet and powerful about Catholicism, and I marvel at its staying power, even in modern Western societies. Now onto Provence and sun (nous esperons!).









  








Stopped in at the 11th century Romanesque church of St. Apollinaire in Valence on the way to dinner in Avignon, facing the River Rhone, and the Palais des Papes, floodlit, glittering & reflected in the river. Canard and agneau. A bit of a battle of wills here in Provence, between me persistently wanting to try out my French, & the French preferring to speak English!!








We spent yesterday in the medieval walled city of Avignon, wandering around its narrow cobbled streets. Saw a pretty Botticelli, in the otherwise mediocre Petit Palais des Papes. Also enjoyed the Romanesque Notre Dame Cathedral. A French pope relocated to Avignon in the 14th century, followed by 9 popes, not all of them approved by the rest of the Catholic church, which at one time had 3 popes!





 Avignon, was a truly beautiful city, something magical about it, much like old Dijon. We are now in Arles, planning to wander on the Van Gogh trail. Many of the flower-beds, buildings, views look (or have been restored to) look as they did when he painted them. I love Provence, so far. Beautiful bright sunny weather, blue skies, neither hot nor chilly. Am in no hurry to return!





Yesterday’s highlight was definitely the Camargue, a watery world of sea and lagoons. We saw whole flocks (flamboyances) of flamingoes feeding, suddenly starting into the air with a graceful symmetry of orange and black wings. Wow, never seen flamingoes in the wild before. Also saw herds of wild white horses, lovely, and herds of their indigenous wild bulls. A lovely unique place.





We saw some bull racing in Arles, and were amused at the very macho spectacle of the matadors and picadors with their smart hats, on their white horses herding the bulls around, followed by crowds of children. Irene was so excited to see the Camargue, since she had memorized a French poem about it, and that world of sea, water, lagoons, flamingoes, white horses and bulls was more or less as she had imagined it!





In St Tropez today. Lovely, lovely fresh bread, pastries and treats from Maitre Julien, Artisan Boulanger. Headed for the beach now, yay! Happy Easter, everyone!





Walked by the beach at St. Tropez. Lovely clear water. Gathered lots of pretty beach glass, for the mosaic stepping stones we like making. Some sort of street fair, enjoyed kebab crepes (yes, really!) Now on our way along the Riviera to Fondation Maeght in Saint Paul de Vence, an amazing art museum. Rented a huge comfy camper van this time, so am able to do some writing now and again. Yay!





Still in Provence. Walked up the narrow claustrophobic medieval walled hillside town of St Paul de Vence yesterd
ay. Full of shops and tourists. Required an effort of imagination to see it as it must have been in medieval heyday, bustling and over-crowded with noisy people, in bright clothes. Watched old Frenchmen in bright cardigans play boules with savage concentration. Could have been in a Pagnol movie set!!





Loved Les Collettes on Cagner-Sur-mer on the Riviera, Renoir’s home, now a museum. V. moving photographs of Renoir, his hands crippled with rheumatoid arthritis, still painting with brushes tied onto them. He painted till the day he died at 78, much like Monet, a faithful practitioner of the religion of art. The gardens were gorgeous, gnarled olive trees, an abundance of wild flowers. Lovely clear sunny day.


Yesterday: best day of this holiday (Irene rated it a 9.5 on 10 of all holidays ever.) We drove to the Gorges du Verdon in Provence, pure Marcel Pagnol country. It reminded us of the Pagnol films we watched 20 years ago, and again last year. The Gorges were dizzying drops, like the Grand Canyon, with the river and lake impossibly thin ribbons far below. Fantastic rock formations carved by the river. Quiet sunny day.





Our walk in Provence was among my top favourites ever: sunny skies, gnarled olive trees, wild hellebores, violets & French wild flowers I did not recognize. The sound of cicadas and birds, and otherwise silence… Now we are in the Ville Rose of Toulouse, and I am writing opposite the floodlit basilica of Saint-Sernin, a 12th century Romanesque church, one of the most striking and beautiful churches I have ever seen!





Loved Toulouse. The Ville Rose, all in red brick. The Church of the Jacobins, built in 1230, mother-church of the Dominicans, was a most striking church. A simple nave, bisected by columns, which ended in a palm frond like spray of vaulting ribs. Amazing long, thin stained glass windows through the cathedral–all reflected in a massive mirror, which reflected beauties which we had not noticed the first time around.





Toulouse was an amazing multicultural city. We enjoyed Egyptian, Turkish and Lebanese snacks, and the massive Romanesque church of Saint Sernin, and the smaller Notre Dame de Taurs.  I particularly enjoyed walking along Louis XIV’s Canal Du Midi, heroically dug from the Atlantic to the Mediterranean.  Today is reserved for beaches–the rest of the family climbed up the Dune Du Pyla, largest sand dune in Europe, an amazing spectacle. We also enjoyed the clean, tranquil Arcachon beaches, amazingly.





Last night in France, 850 km drive from Bordeaux’s beaches to Calais, from 9 p.m. to early next morning. Roy said it was a rubbish plan, & he only agreed because I am cute. He says I should save this Facebook status, and reuse it as his comment on a lot of my plans! Homes again! Spring has rushed in during the two weeks we’ve been away. We returned to a bird-loud evening with our hellebores blooming a welcome.










Facebook posts from March 2010

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Back to the hurly-burly after a gorgeous weekend. Zoe cooked a couple of roast ducks for our friends Martin, Helen, Anna, and adorable, naughty Saskia on Saturday. She included roast potatoes, stuffing, and her trademark onion, giblet and mushroom gravy, and it was delicious, as one expects from the cooking of Zoe, 15. High Tea at Bea Sykes on Sunday. Great idea, Bea–I must take a leaf out of your book!!





Roy and I are loving our Christian history class at Oxford Uni. We’ve got to Henry II, Thomas a Beckett, and the crusades. We wandered through the building during break, overhearing erudite, occasionally pompous and pretentious, sentences in plummy English accents, and couldn’t help laughing!! Zoe and her friend Eleanor are doing the Alpha Course at the same time, and enjoying it as almost as much as we are!




 Sweet moment in p.m. service at Aldates. The sweet fresh-faced & fresh-spirited interns are going to INDIA to work with drug addicts at Betel (INDIA/drug addicts; cognitive dissonance…) They needed £3300. Gordon Hickson said, “The good news is that the money is here. The bad news is that it’s in our wallets.” The congregation filed up, filling the baskets with banknotes. The spontaneous generosity was v. moving!


“Palaces of peace and discipline and dreaming” C.S. Lewis on Oxford. Now that both our girls have fallen in love with both their academic work and reading, our home in Oxford is becoming a bit like that!!


Rented a camper-van today for our Easter break. Two weeks exploring France, particularly the South of France and Provence, though I would also like to get to Brittany, if possible. Excited about the sun and French food!! I love that line from “Julie and Julia,” “Just imagine, the French eat French food every day!”


Reading Imagist Poetry (Penguin anthology edited by Peter Jones) and HD. Fascinated by their knack of putting all that is essential in a single image. I guess Christ does that in some of his parables. Here’s one from the first page, Edward Storer, “Beautiful despair” “I look at the moon/And the frail silver of the climbing stars/ I look, dear, at you,/ And I cast my verses away.”


“Le monde est un livre,et ceux qui ne voyagent pas n’en lisent qu’une page.” Saint Augustine. The world is a book, and those who do not travel read only a page.


Just had a nice invitation for the Anchor Book Club, Oxford to discuss my book, “Wandering between Two Worlds” with them. Which means they’ll all have read it (peut-etre!) Have to dig out notes from the fun discussion on it which I lead at St. John’s College, Oxford. And have to plug on with Book 2 and 3, which I am working on simultaneously; have loads and loads of pages already, thank goodness.


Roy’s last day of teaching today–he’s now off until last September. Yippee! We’re dipping into Philip Yancey’s interesting “What’s so Amazing About Grace?” I facilitated a discussion of it last week at our home group (called pastorate)–which includes 5 professors, 4 of them theology professors: atypical even for this lovely Oxford! The book’s about the power of forgiveness.


Irene has grown up. “I’m rather interested in rationing and Dig for Victory during the War,” she said, like a real Oxford intellectual, while doing her report. On Mother’s Day, she & Zoe got me breakfast in bed with chocolate, toffee apples, a mug and tray, saying, “If Mothers were flowers, you’d be the one I’d pick,” and (with Roy’s help) a beautiful Donna Karan rose-gold diamond-sprinkled watch. Blingy, but lovely!


Zoe and Irene have had a three word theme song all their young lives, “I’M SO EXCITED!” Though generally excited by life myself, I find there are fewer and fewer things I am REALLY, really looking forward to. Here is a link to a week Roy and I are really, really looking forward to. Yes, and we are looking forward to our 2 weeks in France in April

www.occ.org.uk
We are asking God that this International Leaders’ School of Ministry (ILSOM) will be a life-changing week for anyone with a heart for ministry and revival.


1st day of precious Easter hols. Irene spent the day reading her pile of library books; Zoe’s at a sleep-over. As I hugged Irene & said, “It’s lovely to have a ten year old!” she said, “Better enjoy me quickly; I’m nearly 11.” So she is! ANd growing
up rapidly: going to bed on time, waking early, going to school 25 minutes early to work on projects, beautiful homework done without prompting! I can hardly believe it!!


 Going to France tomorrow. I have never been to Provence or the Riviera, though we’ve done Paris, Reims, Amiens, etc a couple of times. Haven’t planned a whole lot, so I guess there will be a good deal of adventure and spontaneity!! Am really, really looking forward to our two weeks there. Today though, we have to pack--which is among my least favourite activities.


Movie marathon, in between packing for today’s trip to France. More popular with parents than kids! Watched episodes of Maccullough History of Christianity, avec kids, then got them to watch movies we loved when we were their age. Rex Harrison and pretty Audrey Hepburn in “My Fair Lady,” and “Jesus Christ, Superstar.” Irene humoured us; Zoe was too cool for 70ies cool!



Facebook posts from February 2010

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Roy and I scoured the garden and paddock today for the first intimations of spring. And found them. Yay! Bright yellow winter aconite blooming in the paddock; delicate snowdrops in our garden; daffodil shoots on the edges of the frozen pond. Spring is not far behind, though that seems hard to believe when one wakes to a snowy and frozen garden.



At 1.44 a.m. on Wed: a frenzied quacking; Daisy, our pet duck whom we had raised from a fuzzy yellow chirping ball was mauled by a fox. We had the vet put her down. Ducks are intensely social, & her sister, Buttercup would be depressed, so we have donated her to the University’s duck pond. So if you see a fat, feisty, very friendly white Aylesbury duck there, please give her an extra piece of bread for our sake.

04 February at 21:51

Anita Mathias 

We have a duck shed, of course, but had our daughter’s friend sleep-over that evening, and our own Christian history course, and so forget our usual routine of “duck the ducks” in the shed at dusk. I adore ducks and geese, and might get more, but am afraid of the consequences of forgetting to put them away at dusk.

 As I walked in our paddock: a quacking. The migratory wild ducks who nest at our large pond every spring (well, for the four years we’ve lived here) flew up with an indignant flapping of wings. Guess they don’t like Jake, our feisty border collie!! “He takes away and gives.” I am mourning for my ducks, who were friendly & full of quirks and personality, but I guess I am going to get to watch ducklings again.

05 February

 Irene, crooning to me, “Mummy, you’re a mummy, and you’ll always be a mummy, but I am an Irene, and one day I will be a mummy.” Me, “Well, I’m not just a mummy.” She, soothingly, “I know. You are a writer, a Mummy, and a chatterbox.”

06 February 

Country walk today in Marsh Baldon. Lovely Feb views, but I did not enjoy the stiles that required high degrees of athleticism; thick deep mud; & the over-friendly horses who nuzzled us, hoping for apples & snorted threateningly at our dog. I only like horses at a distance & am a little scared of them–so I guess I will never be a real British country girl, though I’ve lived in the country for 4 years now, & love it.

06 February

Reading lovely books. Mary Oliver & Jane Kenyon, American poets. R.T. Kendall, “The Anointing, Yesterday, Today and Tomorrow.” A theological book, it looks at God’s supernatural enabling. To continue doing what you once did well, or to step out of one’s gifts out of ambition is to be yesterday’s man. Operating within your call makes you today’s man; the spiritually sensitive person, in training, is tomorrow’s wo/man.

08 February

An interview with Young, author of the self-published best-seller “The Shack,” which I own, but have not read. “I really do believe that God is love, one of deep affection and grace and forgiveness and inspiration.” A God of deep affection. Somehow that speaks to me more than a God of love, which is a word we have heard over-used since our childhoods, and which has therefore has lost some of its edginess and meaning.

10 February

Roy’s birthday. Zoe spoke to the 8-10 year olds for 20 minutes on 1 Corinthians 13 (Love)!! Wonderful family lunch at Chiang Mai Kitchen, good shrimp & duck & beef & seafood. Absent-minded Roy & I shop for Xmas gifts on Christmas Eve (since shops close on the 25th!). For birthdays, we shop on the day itself! Shame on us! Luckily, there was a fab sale at Edinburgh Woollen Mills. Zoe bought 4 sweaters to Roy’s one!!



The Clothes Pin by Jane Kenyon “How much better it is/ to carry wood to the fire/than to moan about your life./How much better/to throw the garbage/onto the compost, or to pin the clean/sheet on the line,/With a gray-brown wooden clothes pin.”



Enjoying a lovely, social half-term break: a delicious dinner with the Wraiths yesterday; a Writers in Oxford drinks party tomorrow, and dinner with our friend Joan on Friday. And of course, French conversation and Christian history classes. Irene is away for the week, at a house-party. She was so excited!!



 Zoe and Roy came back from Mark Marx’s Healing on the Streets seminar full of enthusiasm. Both received a measure of minor physical healing!



 Planning this weekend’s adventures. Last weekend, we walked on Kiln Lane, Garsington, and looked up the hill at our village, pretty as a Constable painting. I tried to jog; Irene biked, R & Z walked. It suddenly hailed, and I was relieved to call it a day under the guise of concern for my children’s health! I was prematurely exhausted! Dinner at Stanton St. John with Joan. A lovely village, stone walls & stone houses

26 February 



Family Dinner, Chez Mathias

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We made a duck roast. Even as Roy was carving it, we were picking up delectable tidbits. Irene, “Don’t gallop the roast.”

I,” Do you mean gobble?”

Irene, “No, I mean gallop”.

Zoe, who’s doing GCSE history coursework says, “In Germany, at the time of Hitler, if you didn’t like what was happening, you didn’t join in–but you kept quiet. Or the Gestapo would come and cut off your head.”

A gleam in my my eyes. Irene suspiciously, ” You are not going to put this on your blog? OR FACEBOOK?” I chuckled. Irene, “If so, you should pay me 50 p. 
Zoe, “And they couldn’t bargain with Hitler either.”

Facebook posts from January 2010

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It’s Zoe and Irene’s second day in school since we left for NZ on Dec. 5th, missing the last week of school, and getting 3 snow days off. They are utterly rusty, no doubt, but well-rested. Forecast for heavy snow on Tuesday night!




Unusual birds at our feeder, time to bring out the bird books, and most unusual, a COOT, black with a red bill, seems to have taken residence under our hedge. We are scattering bird seed on the ground for ground-feeding birds, like the pheasants who roost in our orchard, and the coot loves it. Winter joys!!




Used a new vegetable for the first time ever. Zoe made a delicious chicory and chicken casserole yesterday to decompress after her school day. She added some fennel too, which we’ve only used once before. Fun using new veggies. Might try endive–because I have not the slightest idea what that tastes like!!




Whoa! Tesco tonight needed to be seen to be believed. The shelves were pretty much denuded of fruit and veg. I could not believe it. According to the Guardian, Gordon Brown’s comments on food security and the price of veg. have sparked panic buying of carrots etc.!



An adorable new bunny joined our family today, Bandito, a 7 week old lop ear, companion to Empress, a black and white bunny; Jake, our black and white collie; our fat Aylesbury ducks, Buttercup and Daisy; and Zoe and Irene, two humans. Bandito is white, with brown patches around his eyes, and, yes, we are hoping for a litter! Of bunnies.




“Sit as little as possible. Give no credence to any thought that was not born outdoors while moving about freely.”–Friedrich Nietzsche. Nietzsche of course needs to be taken with a kilo of salt, but it’s amazing how much a good long walk clears one’s thoughts. The snow has all melted, and I’m off for one now.



Really getting down to writing my second book after a 3.5 year hiatus to set up our publishing company. The joy of finding the precisely right word and phrase; few things compare with it!! (Even if, the very next day, one finds an even better word or sentence!)



Hot tip to all small business owners. DO NOT hire your spouse. Roy just made a really stupid, and somewhat costly, mistake, and when I told him off in no uncertain terms, just stood there, grinning happily from ear to ear, as if he had done the greatest thing in the world. ” Well then, fire me,” he said. And double my workload? No way! I fumed, and growled; he had won that round. Stay tuned!



Roy and I are taking an interesting 20 week course in The History of Christianity at Oxford Uni. 1st meeting today–an ambitious survey of 20 centuries in 2 hours!! Lots I knew, but a fair amount I had forgotten, or never knew. Excellent lecturer. I think we are going to find it a very interesting course!! What a very fascinating story!



Irene, 10, stayed home with Zoe to do homework (interspersed with computer games). She reversed the intended equation. We returned at 10 p.m. to find her awake, and asking to make lamb samosas!! Me–” Irene, it’s your bedtime.” She, “But I find deep-frying satisfying.” Me, “BEDTIME!” She, “That’s the problem!! I just don’t have any job-satisfaction.” Roy, “Perhaps that’s because you don’t have a job?”



LORD, what I once had done with youthful might, / Had I been from the first true to the truth,/ Grant me, now old, to do–with better sight,/ And humbler heart, if not the brain of youth; / So wilt thou, in thy gentleness and ruth, / Lead back thy old soul, by the path of pain,/ Round to his best–young eyes and heart and brain. George Macdonald, Diary of an Old Soul



Intense, interesting week! Jan & Karoline Sassenberg & their cute, spunky kids lunched with us–young Germans who serve in a slum of Freetown, Sierra Leone. Their faces were radiant & they were more free, relaxed & happy than I have ever seen them. God has given them a love for the poor, & they now work where their hearts truly are. There is magic & bliss in doing exactly what God has fashioned you to do, high or low.



 Blessed evening. I’m immersed in 1st century Christianity for the History of Christianity course at Oxford Uni. which Roy & I are taking. Irene’s reading Indian mythology (I loved the Ramayana and the Mahabharata at her age!). Zoe is re-reading “The Great Gatsby” for the umpteenth time. And Roy is baking gourmet pizzas (spinach, ricotta, and parma ham). Our Sunday resolution–no cooking & as little work as possible!



A verse for blocked writers. “Moses, “O Lord, I have never been eloquent, neither in the past nor since you have spoken to your servant. I am slow of speech and tongue.” The LORD said to him, “Who gave man his mouth? Who makes him deaf or mute? Who gives him sight or makes him blind? Is it not I, the LORD ? Now go; I will help you speak and will teach you what to say.” Exodus, Chapter 4.



A lovely nine days, of writing every day (except Sunday). Back to poetry, my first love. Yesterday, I hit my own voice again, my distinctive subject matter, exciting. Am trying to write with less dependence on education, training, previous reading and study, and more reliance on the spirit of God, of creativity. It’s a very interesting retraining of instincts and reflexes, after so many years of relying on the former.



 Aargh! Each time the phone rings now, it’s Her Majesty’s Revenue and Customs returning my call. What possessed me to ignore Small Business taxes until the 11th hour? And now, guess what?–I think I am going to go all girlie and leave Roy to file my taxes for me. There should be some advantages to being married to a brilliant but absent-minded mathematician!!



 love spending the day in our conservatory, watching the day shift and change. It was sunny in the morning; then suddenly sleeted, then hailed on our unsuspecting ducks. The stars crept out, and there is a luminous full moon flooding the conservatory with light at the moment.



Lovely peaceful evening. Nesting. Zoe is galloping through the Pentateuch being determined to read the Bible in a year. I am reading the American poet, Jane Kenyon, and writing poetry, Irene is reading Lemony Snicket, and Roy is communing with his computer.



“Forgiveness is not just an occasional gift; it is a permanent attitude,” Martin Luther King. Roy & I are studying Phil Yancey’s “What’s so Amazing about Grace?” at the Headington Pastorate (small group, or home group). Interestingly, it’s really about the delicate miracle of forgiveness, a core of the Christian life, which often gets sidelined. I don’t recall a sermon on forgiveness in the last 5 years at Aldate’s!






















In which Irene Invents GarlicBreadMen

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 Irene made the most beautifully shaped gingerbread men.
Funny thing though, they smelled and tasted of GARLIC.
“Irene, did you not wash the spoons and chopping board before using them?”
“I did.” Dreadful thought.
“Show me the puree you used.”
“Dad squeezed it for me.”
Fatal words. I looked at the tube. Intense garlic puree!
Sweet garlic “gingerbread” men don’t taste too bad when they are warm, but I will leave it to Roy and Irene to finish them up.