Anita Mathias: Dreaming Beneath the Spires

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Those who Hope in the Lord will Renew their Strength: a guest post from Jennifer from Diary of 1

By Anita Mathias

Jennifer lives in the Pacific Northwest and is a wife and mother to four children. She currently runs an online sports business with her husband. Jennifer has a BA in Political Science and French, a Masters in Teaching, has taught in public and private schools, and also spent several years homeschooling her children. Jennifer blogs at Diary of 1


In this post, Jennifer writes about experiencing God and hope in the very depths!

Welcome, Jennifer, and thank you!

Jennifer


Those who hope in the LORD
will renew their strength.
They will soar on wings like eagles;
they will run and not grow weary,
they will walk and not be faint. (Isaiah 40:31).
“Your pace will change from a sprint to a marathon,” she counseled. These words brought immense hope to my soul on the heels of a few exhausting years that did indeed feel like the 50-yard dash on replay every hour of my day.

The thought of a marathon panics some, but its pace is slower, steadier than the sprint, and yes, we still have a race to run, but perhaps it didn’t have to kill me?
I had been waiting for this comfort, and many translations in fact interpret the words “hope in the Lord” as “wait on the Lord.”

Following the meltdown of a business I was involved in, following the slander, the emotional pain, the despair of such magnitude I thought I might die of it, I discovered the truth that those who hope in the Lord will renew their strength.
This renewal of strength is conditional of course, as all of God’s promises are, on a decision I had to make: would I hope in the Lord? If so, then I could soar with the wings of an eagle! I could run and not grow weary! I could walk and not be faint! These are miracles, all humanly impossible, for who among us can sprout wings or never tire or feel faint after endless movement?
I remember praying to God to make me invisible. For the first two weeks after this business collapse – and, without going into the details, I will simply reveal that I was unjustly accused of many things, including financial improprieties – I couldn’t leave my house (except for the picking up of the raw fragments of that business), held there by my own almost manic despair.

I certainly didn’t handle all business details well, and made some unwise, irresponsible and naive decisions, but this, Lord? This was too much.

My husband did the shopping, errands, and all necessary functions of life as I half-lived, my movements like a lizard’s tail that moves after it’s been dropped from the body. When finally I did have the strength to make one small trip to the store, I got through it by praying, “Lord, please let people miraculously look right through me. Make me invisible. I can’t handle people and their slander and their bitter words.” I yet had no hope and felt no grace.
I lived for a long time in fear and mistrust, which may be the antithesis of hope. Fear of never recovering, mistrust of the intentions of everyone, afraid of sleeping, for then the shadow of death settled in. And then came the period of the sprinting, sometimes running hard to prove I was something, sometimes running hard just to get away. I was wounded too much to hope, I thought. I couldn’t speak and I was mute and knew no one and no one knew me.
I lived in the Psalms during the dark days as in no other season of my life. In fact, I believe I never before even remotely had an emotional connection with the Psalms, with the pursuit of enemies, the sheer agony of despair that David cries out about. I never before needed Hope like I needed it during those years. I cried out to the Lord out of the brokenness of my spirit as I had never before cried. I could almost physically feel my mind splintering.

And behold, this hell is the very best opportunity to experience Hope, though who would want to live in these dark David-like caves? But who was called a man after God’s own heart?
“Even youths grow tired and weary, and young men stumble and fall.” These words precede the promise in Isaiah 40:31. In my own strength and youth (immaturity), I was weary and had utterly fallen. I needed Hope.
It took time, but gradually I re-entered normalcy as best I could, and bit by bit He renewed my strength. I would still be in that cave were it not for this promise of God: Those who hope in the Lord will renew their strength. God-sent friends thoroughly loved me through these months and years, believed in me, lifted me up, and indeed still lift me up, like the wise woman who shared the gift about the marathon. I clung to His Word. I was as the deer who panted for water.
Biblical hope is powerful and mighty to save. This hope is an expectation that positively, absolutely the thing will come to pass. The hope we’re waiting for is always God’s salvation, both His eternal salvation and the salvation we need in the daily moments of life. It’s beyond me, yet I must actively participate.

I found that Hope required me to move. I wanted to lie in bed in my despair but it was in the rising up, pursuing Him through prayer, worship, and meditation upon the Word, that Hope changed me.
Hope renews, and I’m also learning that it’s a daily renewal. Hope yesterday was for that day. Today? I need it fresh. Because sometimes, I still hear a graceless word and want to crawl in a cave and am overcome by fear and mistrust.

As Vincent McNabb, Irish scholar and priest,once said, “Hope is some extraordinary spiritual grace that God gives us to control our fears, not to oust them.” I pray daily for that special grace to have Hope for the day, for new wings and fresh feet.

Filed Under: random

The surprising “reward” for my only long fast–breaking a coffee addiction

By Anita Mathias


God promises rewards—sometimes open and public ones—for those who seek him in the secret places and in secret ways. (Matthew 6 1-17).

I had a serious coffee addiction as an undergraduate and graduate student. I pretty much had a cup on my desk through the day. One day, I decided to count how many cups I had—and it was 17. And so I tried to reduce it to 16, then, 15, 14, etc. But I never did manage to reduce it sufficiently to kick the habit!
Drinking coffee to help you concentrate when you are flagging because you need fresh air, a nap, or exercise is like flogging a dying horse. You will get some more action out of the horse, but it will die sooner.
And so it was with me. I think my coffee-fuelled overwork—I could sit and read for 14 hours at a stretch, with breaks only for meals in my twenties—led to frequent burnout. It set me up for adrenal fatigue from which I have slowly been recovering for the last few years. It also got me into the habit of crash and bust cycles of work—definitely not sustainable.
                                                 * * *
In my second year of marriage, I was disgusted with the weight I was gaining with a suddenly sedentary life of reading and reading! 27 pounds that first year of marriage!! So I naively thought I would stop eating till I lost weight. I tried to fast, and just drunk water with a twist of lemon, and tried to read Scripture.
I survived for 3 days—and felt ill for most of it as the residual toxins from years of poor eating habits were burned.
And when I gave up—prematurely!!—I found I couldn’t stand the thought of drinking something so toxic as coffee. I hadn’t gone on the fast to kick the coffee addiction—it was a side benefit!! That was 20 years ago, and I haven’t had more than the occasional cup of coffee, generally in coffee shops with friends, since then.
I do however drink green tea, which has numerous documented health benefits!
                                                * * *
I haven’t tried a long fast since then, and don’t believe I will. Fasting seriously lowers one’s metabolism—and I need to increase mine. On the other hand, a Daniel fast (eschewing particular “pleasant” food for a season, as described in the Book of Daniel), can only bring physical and spiritual benefits, especially if one turns to God instead of turning to food or sweets or chocolates for comforts or highs.
And isn’t it exciting that God himself promises us a reward when we fast, or pray or give? And that the reward is unspecified? Because God is good that makes  receiving this secret, unspecified reward so much more exciting!!

Filed Under: random

On the Importance of “Sabbaths”

By Anita Mathias

Okay, I’ve worked for two Sundays in a row to keep a deadline I had neglected in a most cavalier fashion. And so I am going to take a two day mini-retreat from 8 p.m. today to 8 p.m. on Friday.
Working on Sunday is always a very bad idea. The rest every seven days is  enshrined in Judeo-Christianity and Islam, and possibly in our bio-rhythms, what the Germans call ‘zeitgeber,” “time-keeper.”
During World War II, Great Britain experimented with 10 day “weeks,” then 74 hour weeks, but found that accidents dramatically increased and people could not maintain the pace. After experimenting, they found that a 48-hour work week, with regular breaks, plus one day of rest each week, resulted in maximum efficiency.
And so, I know that even if I force myself to write for the next couple of days, it will be inefficient. My mind, body and spirit will protest; they know I need a break.
And it’s going to be a lovely one: brunch with friends on Friday, and then a mixture of napping, walking, gardening, tidying up, praying, reading Scripture, and light reading. With my regular blog post a day, but hopefully not demanding ones. I know it doesn’t sound like much of a rest, but in fact the physical activity will give me a complete mental rest.
Thomas Merton: “Man was made for the highest activity, which is, in fact, his rest.”

The price for some things has to be paid. If we skip our weekly day of rest, we will burn out sooner, and need to take a week or month or less pleasant Sundays. If we neglect our health (as I have for too many years) sooner or later, we will pay in diminished productivity. We pay for neglecting relationships in increased stress. And so on.

 How about you?  When’s your next scheduled rest?

 

Filed Under: random

The 20 Best Ways to Rapidly Develop your Blog

By Anita Mathias

Dreaming Beneath The Spires


 1  Read a good blogging book
 Darren Rowse’s 31 Days to a Better Blog is excellent.  
Bryan Allain’s ebook on blogging is worth scanning.
Judging by Jeff Goins’ other material, his Intentional Blogging Course should be good.
2 Post every day
In my opinion.
Firstly, you will get into the habit of daily writing, which is the most useful habit a writer can have.
Secondly, after a year or two, you will find writing becomes swift and easy. After two years of daily blogging, I can get a first draft of a post in 20 minutes, and get it revised and posted with an image and links within an hour. Not always, but very often.
Thirdly, the surest way to get loyal readers is if people can come to your blog daily, knowing there will be something somewhat interesting and thought-provoking. I get irritated when I visit blogs which are irregularly updated, and get out of the habit of visiting.
3 Write as well as you can
Not as well as you can’t. One learns to write by writing and reading, and by daily writing, you will soon become a whole lot better. When I look back to last year’s posts, I am surprised at how much better I’ve become, over a year of daily “publishing” posts!
4 What should you write about?
Follow your bliss. Choose something you can write about every day without getting bored. I tried 3 blogs: a literary blog, a “life, love, culture and the universe” blog, and a Christian blog. The latter was the most absorbing, so I incorporated the other two into it.
However, while everything I write is from the point of view of a Christian, I do have occasional “secular” posts like this one, or updates on my family, our travels, my reading, and myself!! And a few photo-essays.
The ideal post length is 250 to 800 words, to which I mostly adhere. If the subject is important to me, however, I make the post as long as it needs to be!
4 Blogging is a new form. It is capacious, and as varied as bloggers are. Read other blogs in your niche to find out what the form can do.
5 Comments  
 Leaving comments on other is the best way for a new blogger to introduce herself and build blogging relationships.
For the first two years, I visited the blog of everyone who left me a comment, and left one in turn.
I can no longer do this, alas, partly because I started doing “real” writing in addition to blogging. And partly because of my limitations of organization and energy. And besides, blogging is busy!!
5B Responding to Comments is Sheer Good Manners!
I have neglected responding to comments when too many came at once, and I was busy, and then I fell further behind, while hoping to catch up with the old ones. Some of those commentators have never returned.
I myself never comment again and often won’t revisit a blog if I have left a long, carefully thought out, deeply felt comment, and the author does not respond.
So respond to comments, as long as you possibly can. It’s just good manners!
(Though, as blogs grow, this may not always be possible!)
 6 Twitter and Facebook
I haven’t figured out what I am doing on my Twitter, and just hope I am not annoying people!!  So the only authoritative thing I have to say about Twitter is that I enjoy it!
However, engaging on twitter has been responsible for my blog readership’s tripling in six months.
And it has introduced me to several bloggers, and several interesting people. And I hope to “learn” it.
Facebookis another nice way to meet and keep in touch with bloggers.
Ah, do you see the black hole of the blogosphere opening before you? Seek God as to how much time you should spend reading blogs. I used to limit it to 30 minutes, but now read my favourite blogs as they pop up on Facebook.
Your blog probably needs a Facebook fanpage for the increasingly number of people, who, like me, only read blogs on Facebook.
8 Give and you shall receive.
If you want links, give links. If you want comments, leave comments. If you want page views, read blogs. If you want retweets, retweet. 
I say this shame-facedly, again, as because of limitations of energy and organisation and absorption in my own writing, I am failing on all these counts. When I remember, I try to be generous
9 The Best Blogging Advice: Love your Readers.
Give value. Be a blessing to your readers.
I sometimes write a post for the pleasure of writing and sharing experience and ideas or working something out.
However, I often ask myself: Is this going to help my readers? Be a benefit to them? Inspire them? Do some good?
If not, I put it on the back burner (unless I feel a silly broody love for the idea).
I truly like my readers, those I have met in real life, and those I have met in cyberspace, and want to write things which might be a blessing to them.
10  The greatest pleasure of blogging is the community.
When I come across a blogger on the same wavelength, who writes on the same subjects in the same way, I put them on my “radar,” read their blog, and if possible, try to meet up in real life.
Many writers whose books I have loved have been disappointments in real life. But I have met, oh, at least 20 bloggers in real life, and all of them have been as I imagined from their blogs, lovely, or, in one case, not-lovely but as I expected! Perhaps with daily blogging, it’s harder to keep a mask in place.
The friends I have made through blogging have been one of the best things about blogging!
And, of course, some blogging friendships will help your blog; some will be a delight, though not directly helpful for your writing; and some friends you will be able to help. But, all that is secondary to the joy of friendship!
11 Honest blogging grows your blog most rapidly.
Don’t bother to appear nicer than you are, or more spiritual. It will ring false, and be less interesting. A) People will smell a rat; b) Blogging will no longer be a joy!
Our hearts hunger for truth. To really know people. Their real lives and emotional contours. Memoir is one of the fastest growing genres. An honest blog is captivating. Be yourself, be real, and the note of raw undefended honesty and immediacy will shine through and captivate readers.
It’s important spiritually and for your writing to be honest and real, even if you sometimes disappoint your core audience. I am trying to push through barriers of propriety, and fear of alienating my audience to be more honest.
I am sometimes told, “Anita, this post does not show you in a good light.” And I leave it up, thinking, “Why should I give the impression that I am perfect? It is showing me in an honest light, if not a flattering one!”
Because one person who will not be alienated, but in fact, will be rather pleased by my honesty will be the Lord Jesus (even when I have got my thinking wrong!)
12 Controversy, negativity and attacks get more page views than positivity and inspiration—but at a (too) high price
I occasionally write negative posts for the therapeutic value as I work something out; or because I feel angry and indignant about something. Or because I truly believe hypocrisy or injustice or abuse should be exposed,
Doing negative posts is not wrong. Jesus said lots of negative things about the religious hypocrites of his day, for instance.
But negativity extracts a cost from the blogger, in terms of one’s own mental state and happiness. So I try to minimize them.
I also ignore hostile comments, and try not to get sucked into fruitless arguments and controversies in which I have little interest.
Attack is a double-edged sword. Only use it when it needs to be used!!
Remember what Jesus said about those who take up the sword…
But remember too that he can heal wounds inflicted by swords!
Incidentally, I no longer follow predominantly negative blogs, twitter streams or facebook feeds. I want to keep my thinking as positive as possible. You too will be happier if you do not follow predominantly negative, sarcastic or “bad news” blogs.
13 Track your page views and analytics daily. Understand your audience
Use Google Analytics, and track your stats everyday. The most important metric is Unique Monthly Visitors. Then, when your stats drop, you can use some of these suggestions or Pro-blogger’s suggestions to keep growing.
Also track the page views each post receives. That way, you will understand your audience.
Negativity, attack and scandal always get views, but I attempt to minimize such posts them for the sake of my own soul.
My theological posts surprisingly get a lot of views, perhaps because I tackle theology in a layperson’s language and style. So I am going to do more of them.
Gardening and travel are popular, as well as time and life management and some embarrassingly personal posts.
Monitoring your stats will let you know what your audience loves, and what makes them yaaaaawn!
It will tell you when your titles let you down and sink an otherwise good post. The title is the most important line in the post. Many a good post has vanished because of a boring, non-descriptive title chosen at the last minute. And has been resuscitated with a good title.
14 Design Matters

Everyone likes pretty things.
My blog’s appearance was a weakness for a long time. I am kind of fond of it now, though it can do with improvement.
Please give me some feedback on its appearance!
15 Your Archive will be your Best Friend.
If your blog grows, most of today’s readers will not have heard of you a year ago.
It’s wasteful to write a long beautiful post which will languish unread in your archives. After my second year of blogging, I have started posting about three archive posts each week, which I have freshly edited. I zero in on the main point, cut the fluff and add value. The end result is always a better post, since it retains what has stood the test of a year’s thinking.
Not every post, of course, is worth reposting. I probably repost the best 5 or 10%.
Use Link Within to increase your page views.
 16 Guest Posts grow your blog.
They do take energy and organisation and correspondence (and ironically, for me, more work than writing out my own post!!) and I haven’t done one for a while, but probably will return to them.
I use them when I have a question I want answered. Do the meek inherit the earth? Can the years the locusts have eaten be restored? Can the Lord really renew our strength so that we soar on wings like eagles? Or I have done series on my interests like favourite books or Christian heroes.
17 Pray before you write. Read Scripture before you write.
Doing the former will save you immense time. Your unconscious, or God’s spirit in your unconscious will give you ideas, and sort out the post in the most logical and effective fashion.
Reading Scripture gives me ideas for what to write, and sometimes condemns what I had been planning to write!!
19 I believe a worker is worthy of a hire, and a blogger should earn something from her labours.
I have barely monetized my blog, though have had cheques from Google Adsense, and sold some of my own books through my blog.
I will probably explore ways to monetize my blog.
I would be grateful for your ideas on monetization.
19 All that is alive grows. Beware of plateaus.
Last August, I realized that I had to increase my readership, or I was wasting my time blogging.
And so applied some of these tips. My blog tripled to 15,000 page views a month (according to Blogger stats) within six months. Since mid-Feb, however, I have plateaued.
So if the Lord gives me strength and energy, I will soon make another push.
And I welcome your ideas on how to grow my blog.
20 Have fun.
Blogging is life-enhancing, and has many benefits. And it should be fun.
Don’t hesitate to write the bad posts to get them out of the way, for the good posts to come. The niggling small posts sometimes need to be written to get the skill to think about and write the big posts. And sometimes what we thought was a trivial idea was just the tip of the iceberg of an important post.
If you don’t love it, and are not enjoying it, just stop!! Blogging should be a joy, not a misery.
Though please don’t stop reading my blog.
So, what have I omitted? Please share your tips.

Filed Under: random

Evangelism should begin with Jesus, and with the Gospel as He presented it

By Anita Mathias

Evangelism should begin not with abstract theory, but with Jesus, and the the Gospel as he presented it. “The Gospel according to Jesus”
Here is a summary of the Bible in 221 words according to DA Carson.
God is the sovereign, transcendent and personal God who has made the universe, including us, his image-bearers. Our misery lies in our rebellion, our alienation from God, which, despite his forbearance, attracts his implacable wrath. 
But God, precisely because love is of the very essence of his character, takes the initiative and prepared for the coming of his own Son by raising up a people who, by covenantal stipulations, temple worship, systems of sacrifice and of priesthood, by kings and by prophets, are taught something of what God is planning and what he expects. 
In the fullness of time his Son comes and takes on human nature. He comes not, in the first instance, to judge but to save: he dies the death of his people, rises from the grave and, in returning to his heavenly Father, bequeaths the Holy Spirit as the down payment and guarantee of the ultimate gift he has secured for them—an eternity of bliss in the presence of God himself, in a new heaven and a new earth, the home of righteousness. 
The only alternative is to be shut out from the presence of this God forever, in the torments of hell. What men and women must do, before it is too late, is repent and trust Christ; the alternative is to disobey the gospel.
Yeah, I believe it (though I strongly question “the only alternative” bit). But it does extract all poetry from our faith.
E. M. Forster says, “Yes, oh dear, yes, the novel tells a story.” For, as Woolf and Joyce began to experiment with stream of consciousness novels, the novel became capable of doing so much more.
So too, yes, oh dear yes, these summaries of the Gospel– as John Piper’s shorter summary here the gospel: the good news of Christ crucified in our place to remove the wrath of God and provide forgiveness of sins and power for sanctification– are accurate.
But they are the gospel for intellectuals, the gospel for those who think abstractly, for those with a sufficient theological vocabulary or cast of thought. I confess they do not send my pulses racing.
A far more effective way of presenting the Gospel—the Good News–is to present it in the way Jesus did, with an appeal to the emotions and imagination. It should be presented as the satisfaction for our deepest needs—as bread, water, wine, light–all metaphors Jesus used. It should use metaphor, imagery, parables, and story.
When we present it in the simple way Jesus did, the Gospel has an immediate appeal to the mind as well as to the emotions. It is capable of being understood by a 5 year old child and a 50 year old academic, and speaking to both of them, stirring both their emotions and spirits. It can appeal to the learned in Oxford or Harvard, as well as to people in, let’s say, Chad, Afghanistan or Belize, who might not have the same formal education but have the same human heart.
Evangelism should not start with theory and abstractions, even simplified ones like the four spiritual laws. Presentations of the Gospel should start with Jesus, and present the Gospel the way he did.
 Okay, let’s try. Is it possible to condense the Gospel, the Good News as presented by Jesus in 221 words?
I came not to call the righteous but sinners; not to judge the world, but to save it. 
Repent and believe the good news.
“Love the Lord your God with all your heart, soul and mind. Love your neighbour as yourself.”All the Law and the Prophets hang on these two commandments.
Don’t be afraid. Do not worry about anything at all.  Peace I give you. Do not let your hearts be troubled. Trust in God; trust also in me. 
I teach so that my joy may be in you, and your joy may be full.
When you stand praying, if you hold anything against anyone, forgive him, so that your Father in heaven may forgive you your sins.
If you have faith as small as a mustard seed, nothing will be impossible for you.
He who eats my flesh and drinks my blood lives in me, and I in him.
Take and drink; this is my blood of the covenant which is poured out for many for the forgiveness of sins. Do this in memory of me.
My Father will give you another counsellor—the Spirit of Truth.  He will be with you and in you. You will receive power when the Holy Spirit comes on you.
Go into all the world and preach the good news to all creation.

Filed Under: random

The Arithmetic of Counting Blessings

By Anita Mathias

 I have started to keep a gratitude journal, noting five things a day I am grateful for. Like the hawk I saw float over the fields of Garsington. My pink rose bush in prolific blossom.

And the very fact of slowing down and giving thanks, even, especially, when I am stressed or sad, does induce what Michael Hyatt calls “a change of state.”

* * *

I picked up Selwyn Hughes, The 7 Laws of Spiritual Success from one of George Verwer of Operation Mobilization’s “Take what you want; Give what you want” book tables, which generally have excellent books.

The rest of this post consists of notes I’ve speed-typed from Hughes’ excellent chapter, “Counting Blessings.”

“Thou hast given so much to me

Give me one thing more

A grateful heart.”  George Herbert

                                                                                                       * * *

Sir John Templeton, financier and philanthropist who gives away millions of dollars every year says that when he awakes, he lies quietly on his bed, and thinks of five new ways in which he has been blessed. He believes is this one of the chief reasons why peace and contentment flood his life.

John Templeton–For every problem people have, there are at least 10 blessings.

* * *

Charles Spurgeon–”It is a delightful and profitable occupation to mark the hand of God in the lives of His ancient saints and to observe his goodness in delivering them, His mercy in pardoning them, and His faithfulness in keeping his covenant with them. But would it not be more interesting and profitable for us to notice the hand of God in our own lives?”

* * *

“Count your blessings.” Impossible advice. Our arithmetic is not good enough.

When we exhort our soul to praise the Lord, our emotions follow. A law of the personality and of life: what we think about will soon affect the way we feel. Rational Emotive Therapy is based on this idea–“Change your thinking, and you change your feelings, and the next consequence is a change in behaviour.”

We would be much calmer and more confident in the presence of new troubles if we remembered vividly the old deliverances; if we had kept them fresh in mind, and been able to say, “The God who delivered me then will not desert me now.”

John Newton:

“His love in times past forbids me to think,

He’ll leave me at last in trouble to sink.”

Auden–“Let your last thinks be all thanks.”

William Law, “If anyone would tell you the shortest, surest way to all perfection and happiness, he must tell you to make it a rule to yourself to thank and praise God for everything that happens to you. For it is certain that, whatever seeming calamity happens to you, if you thank and praise God for it, you turn it into a blessing.”

In everything give thanks–for everything works out for good. “God can take the worst thing that has happened to you, and turn it into the best thing that has ever happened to you.” 

The risen Christ is the greatest reminder that even the evil of the cross can be transformed into a new and exalted life.

It is a law of the soul that the more we focus on what we have rather than what we don’t, the more the soul begins to thrive.

Filed Under: random Tagged With: gratitude, Happiness, thankfulness

The Dance of Intimacy and the Dance of Anger

By Anita Mathias



About twenty years ago, when we were newly-weds, Harriet Lerner’s books, The Dance of Intimacy and The Dance of Anger were recommended to us.

Essentially–it’s been a while since I read them–the books view relationships as a dance.
You each have your steps. If you work together in creative, productive ways, the relationship flourishes.
But we also have less creative, stylized, conditioned ways of dancing. You know: boring, predictable. She passive-aggressively pushes his buttons. He explodes. And so on.
And then, a week later, the same, boring, sordid dancing. Getting nowhere. Spinning round and round the dance floor in circles.

The good news is that it takes two to tango. Two to continue in a frustrating, unsatisfying, unproductive dance. 

And either one can just change the steps.

                                                 * * * 

I am slowing down in numerous ways. One way is that I try not to react instinctively. I try to be quiet and think. In fact, if possible, I try not to react at all in heated moments, until I have had time to think and pray, and my emotions settle, and I can act rationally.
Jesus is a great role model for “giving no answer.” Not everything needs to be answered. One can simply be silent.
I am learning—and for a formerly hot-tempered, high-spirited woman like me, this is an amazing realization—that I do not need to answer anger with anger, a harsh word with a harsh word. I can simply be silent. I can change the steps of the dance.

Yes, that is an amazing realization for me–that at any time, even in middle age, we can change what we thought were our personalities or characters. We can give a gentle answer, or no answer. We can learn to be gentle and silent, instead of dancing in the exhausting, consuming dance of anger.
In Christ, we are free—and empowered–at any stage of our lives, to change our habitual actions. And thus to change our characters, for character is the result of habitual actions.

Filed Under: random

George Herbert. Love

By Anita Mathias

     LOVE (III)
        by George Herbert

Love bade me welcome, yet my soul drew back,
        Guilty of dust and sin.
But quick-ey’d Love, observing me grow slack
        From my first entrance in,
Drew nearer to me, sweetly questioning
        If I lack’d anything.
“A guest,” I answer’d, “worthy to be here”;
        Love said, “You shall be he.”
“I, the unkind, the ungrateful? ah my dear,
        I cannot look on thee.”
Love took my hand and smiling did reply,
        “Who made the eyes but I?”
“Truth, Lord, but I have marr’d them; let my shame
        Go where it doth deserve.”
“And know you not,” says Love, “who bore the blame?”
        “My dear, then I will serve.”
“You must sit down,” says Love, “and taste my meat.”
        So I did sit and eat.


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Anita Mathias: About Me

Anita Mathias

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  • The Kingdom of God is Here Already, Yet Not Yet Here
  • All Those Who Exalt Themselves Will Be Humbled & the Humble Will Be Exalted
  • Christ’s Great Golden Triad to Guide Our Actions and Decisions
  • How Jesus Dealt With Hostility and Enemies
  • Do Not Be Afraid, but Do Be Prudent
  • For Scoundrels, Scallywags, and Rascals—Christ Came
  • How to Lead an Extremely Significant Life
  • Don’t Walk Away From Jesus, but if You Do, He Still Looks at You and Loves You
  • How to Find the Freedom of Forgiveness
  • The Silver Coin in the Mouth of a Fish. Never Underestimate God!
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John Mark Comer

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Dorothy Day

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anita.mathias

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Oxford, England. Writer, memoirist, podcaster, blogger, Biblical meditation teacher, mum

Hi Friends, I have taped a meditation; do listen a Hi Friends, I have taped a meditation; do listen at this link: https://anitamathias.com/2025/04/08/the-kingdom-of-god-is-here-already-yet-not-yet-here-2/
It’s on the Kingdom of God, of which Christ so often spoke, which is here already—a mysterious, shimmering internal palace in which, in lightning flashes, we experience peace and joy, and yet, of course, not yet fully here. We sense the rainbowed presence of Christ in the song which pulses through creation. Christ strolls into our rooms with his wisdom and guidance, and things change. Our prayers are answered; we are healed; our hearts are strangely warmed. Sometimes.
And yet, we also experience evil within & all around us. Our own sin which can shatter our peace and the trajectory of our lives. And the sins of the world—its greed, dishonesty and environmental destruction.
But in this broken world, we still experience the glory of creation; “coincidences” which accelerate once we start praying, and shalom which envelops us like sudden sunshine. The portals into this Kingdom include repentance, gratitude, meditative breathing, and absolute surrender.
The Kingdom of God is here already. We can experience its beauty, peace and joy today through the presence of the Holy Spirit. But yet, since, in the Apostle Paul’s words, we do not struggle only “against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the unseen powers of this dark world and against the spiritual forces of evil,” its fullness still lingers…
Our daughter Zoe was ordained into the Church of E Our daughter Zoe was ordained into the Church of England in June. I have been on a social media break… but … better late than never. Enjoy!
First picture has my sister, Shalini, who kindly flew in from the US. Our lovely cousins Anthony and Sarah flank Zoe in the next picture.
The Bishop of London, Sarah Mullaly, ordained Zoe. You can see her praying that Zoe will be filled with the Holy Spirit!!
And here’s a meditation I’ve recorded, which you might enjoy. The link is also in my profile
https://anitamathias.com/2024/11/07/all-those-who-exalt-themselves-will-be-humbled-the-humble-will-be-exalted/
I have taped a meditation on Jesus statement in Ma I have taped a meditation on Jesus statement in Matthew 23, “For those who exalt themselves will be humbled, and those who humble themselves will be exalted.”
Do listen here. https://anitamathias.com/2024/11/07/all-those-who-exalt-themselves-will-be-humbled-the-humble-will-be-exalted/
Link also in bio.
And so, Jesus states a law of life. Those who broadcast their amazingness will be humbled, since God dislikes—scorns that, as much as people do.  For to trumpet our success, wealth, brilliance, giftedness or popularity is to get distracted from our life’s purpose into worthless activity. Those who love power, who are sure they know best, and who must be the best, will eventually be humbled by God and life. For their focus has shifted from loving God, doing good work, and being a blessing to their family, friends, and the world towards impressing others, being enviable, perhaps famous. These things are houses built on sand, which will crumble when hammered by the waves of old age, infirmity or adversity. 
God resists the proud, Scripture tells us—those who crave the admiration and power which is His alone. So how do we resist pride? We slow down, so that we realise (and repent) when sheer pride sparks our allergies to people, our enmities, our determination to have our own way, or our grandiose ego-driven goals, and ambitions. Once we stop chasing limelight, a great quietness steals over our lives. We no longer need the drug of continual achievement, or to share images of glittering travel, parties, prizes or friends. We just enjoy them quietly. My life is for itself & not for a spectacle, Emerson wrote. And, as Jesus advises, we quit sharp-elbowing ourselves to sit with the shiniest people, but are content to hang out with ordinary people; and then, as Jesus said, we will inevitably, eventually, be summoned higher to the sparkling conversation we craved. 
One day, every knee will bow before the gentle lamb who was slain, now seated on the throne. We will all be silent before him. Let us live gently then, our eyes on Christ, continually asking for his power, his Spirit, and his direction, moving, dancing, in the direction that we sense him move.
Link to new podcast in Bio https://anitamathias.co Link to new podcast in Bio https://anitamathias.com/2024/02/20/how-jesus-dealt-with-hostility-and-enemies/
3 days before his death, Jesus rampages through the commercialised temple, overturning the tables of moneychangers. Who gave you the authority to do these things? his outraged adversaries ask. And Jesus shows us how to answer hostile questions. Slow down. Breathe. Quick arrow prayers!
Your enemies have no power over your life that your Father has not permitted them. Ask your Father for wisdom, remembering: Questions do not need to be answered. Are these questioners worthy of the treasures of your heart? Or would that be feeding pearls to hungry pigs, who might instead devour you?
Questions can contain pitfalls, traps, nooses. Jesus directly answered just three of the 183 questions he was asked, refusing to answer some; answering others with a good question.
But how do we get the inner calm and wisdom to recognise
and sidestep entrapping questions? Long before the day of
testing, practice slow, easy breathing, and tune in to the frequency of the Father. There’s no record of Jesus running, rushing, getting stressed, or lacking peace. He never spoke on his own, he told us, without checking in with the Father. So, no foolish, ill-judged statements. Breathing in the wisdom of the Father beside and within him, he, unintimidated, traps the trappers.
Wisdom begins with training ourselves to slow down and ask
the Father for guidance. Then our calm minds, made perceptive, will help us recognise danger and trick questions, even those coated in flattery, and sidestep them or refuse to answer.
We practice tuning in to heavenly wisdom by practising–asking God questions, and then listening for his answers about the best way to do simple things…organise a home or write. Then, we build upwards, asking for wisdom in more complex things.
Listening for the voice of God before we speak, and asking for a filling of the Spirit, which Jesus calls streams of living water within us, will give us wisdom to know what to say, which, frequently, is nothing at all. It will quieten us with the silence of God, which sings through the world, through sun and stars, sky and flowers.
Especially for @ samheckt Some very imperfect pi Especially for @ samheckt 
Some very imperfect pictures of my labradoodle Merry, and golden retriever Pippi.
And since, I’m on social media, if you are the meditating type, here’s a scriptural meditation on not being afraid, while being prudent. https://anitamathias.com/2024/01/03/do-not-be-afraid-but-do-be-prudent/
A new podcast. Link in bio https://anitamathias.c A new podcast. Link in bio
https://anitamathias.com/2024/01/03/do-not-be-afraid-but-do-be-prudent/
Do Not Be Afraid, but Do Be Prudent
“Do not be afraid,” a dream-angel tells Joseph, to marry Mary, who’s pregnant, though a virgin, for in our magical, God-invaded world, the Spirit has placed God in her. Call the baby Jesus, or The Lord saves, for he will drag people free from the chokehold of their sins.
And Joseph is not afraid. And the angel was right, for a star rose, signalling a new King of the Jews. Astrologers followed it, threatening King Herod, whose chief priests recounted Micah’s 600-year-old prophecy: the Messiah would be born in Bethlehem, as Jesus had just been, while his parents from Nazareth registered for Augustus Caesar’s census of the entire Roman world. 
The Magi worshipped the baby, offering gold. And shepherds came, told by an angel of joy: that the Messiah, a saviour from all that oppresses, had just been born.
Then, suddenly, the dream-angel warned: Flee with the child to Egypt. For Herod plans to kill this baby, forever-King.
Do not be afraid, but still flee? Become a refugee? But lightning-bolt coincidences verified the angel’s first words: The magi with gold for the flight. Shepherds
telling of angels singing of coming inner peace. Joseph flees.
What’s the difference between fear and prudence? Fear is being frozen or panicked by imaginary what-ifs. It tenses our bodies; strains health, sleep and relationships; makes us stingy with ourselves & others; leads to overwork, & time wasted doing pointless things for fear of people’s opinions.
Prudence is wisdom-using our experience & spiritual discernment as we battle the demonic forces of this dark world, in Paul’s phrase.It’s fighting with divinely powerful weapons: truth, righteousness, faith, Scripture & prayer, while surrendering our thoughts to Christ. 
So let’s act prudently, wisely & bravely, silencing fear, while remaining alert to God’s guidance, delivered through inner peace or intuitions of danger and wrongness, our spiritual senses tuned to the Spirit’s “No,” his “Slow,” his “Go,” as cautious as a serpent, protected, while being as gentle as a lamb among wolves.
Link to post with podcast link in Bio or https://a Link to post with podcast link in Bio or https://anitamathias.com/2023/09/22/dont-walk-away-from-jesus-but-if-you-do-he-still-looks-at-you-and-loves-you/
Jesus came from a Kingdom of voluntary gentleness, in which
Christ, the Lion of Judah, stands at the centre of the throne in the guise of a lamb, looking as if it had been slain. No wonder his disciples struggled with his counter-cultural values. Oh, and we too!
The mother of the Apostles James and John, asks Jesus for a favour—that once He became King, her sons got the most important, prestigious seats at court, on his right and left. And the other ten, who would have liked the fame, glory, power,limelight and honour themselves are indignant and threatened.
Oh-oh, Jesus says. Who gets five talents, who gets one,
who gets great wealth and success, who doesn’t–that the
Father controls. Don’t waste your one precious and fleeting
life seeking to lord it over others or boss them around.
But, in his wry kindness, he offers the ambitious twelve
and us something better than the second or third place.
He tells us how to actually be the most important person to
others at work, in our friend group, social circle, or church:Use your talents, gifts, and energy to bless others.
And we instinctively know Jesus is right. The greatest people in our lives are the kind people who invested in us, guided us and whose wise, radiant words are engraved on our hearts.
Wanting to sit with the cleverest, most successful, most famous people is the path of restlessness and discontent. The competition is vast. But seek to see people, to listen intently, to be kind, to empathise, and doors fling wide open for you, you rare thing!
The greatest person is the one who serves, Jesus says. Serves by using the one, two, or five talents God has given us to bless others, by finding a place where our deep gladness and the world’s deep hunger meet. By writing which is a blessing, hospitality, walking with a sad friend, tidying a house.
And that is the only greatness worth having. That you yourself,your life and your work are a blessing to others. That the love and wisdom God pours into you lives in people’s hearts and minds, a blessing
https://anitamathias.com/.../dont-walk-away-from-j https://anitamathias.com/.../dont-walk-away-from-jesus.../
Sharing this podcast I recorded last week. LINK IN BIO
So Jesus makes a beautiful offer to the earnest, moral young man who came to him, seeking a spiritual life. Remarkably, the young man claims that he has kept all the commandments from his youth, including the command to love one’s neighbour as oneself, a statement Jesus does not challenge.
The challenge Jesus does offers him, however, the man cannot accept—to sell his vast possessions, give the money to the poor, and follow Jesus encumbered.
He leaves, grieving, and Jesus looks at him, loves him, and famously observes that it’s easier for a camel to squeeze through the eye of a needle than for a rich person to live in the world of wonders which is living under Christ’s kingship, guidance and protection. 
He reassures his dismayed disciples, however, that with God even the treasure-burdened can squeeze into God’s kingdom, “for with God, all things are possible.”
Following him would quite literally mean walking into a world of daily wonders, and immensely rich conversation, walking through Israel, Lebanon, Syria, and Jordan, quite impossible to do with suitcases and backpacks laden with treasure. 
For what would we reject God’s specific, internally heard whisper or directive, a micro-call? That is the idol which currently grips and possesses us. 
Not all of us have great riches, nor is money everyone’s greatest temptation—it can be success, fame, universal esteem, you name it…
But, since with God all things are possible, even those who waver in their pursuit of God can still experience him in fits and snatches, find our spirits singing on a walk or during worship in church, or find our hearts strangely warmed by Scripture, and, sometimes, even “see” Christ stand before us. 
For Christ looks at us, Christ loves us, and says, “With God, all things are possible,” even we, the flawed, entering his beautiful Kingdom.
https://anitamathias.com/2023/09/07/how-to-find-th https://anitamathias.com/2023/09/07/how-to-find-the-freedom-of-forgiveness/
How to Find the Freedom of Forgiveness
Letting go on anger and forgiving is both an emotional transaction & a decision of the will. We discover we cannot command our emotions to forgive and relinquish anger. So how do we find the space and clarity of forgiveness in our mind, spirit & emotions?
When tormenting memories surface, our cortisol, adrenaline, blood pressure, and heart rate all rise. It’s good to take a literally quick walk with Jesus, to calm this neurological and physiological storm. And then honestly name these emotions… for feelings buried alive never die.
Then, in a process called “the healing of memories,” mentally visualise the painful scene, seeing Christ himself there, his eyes brimming with compassion. Ask Christ to heal the sting, to draw the poison from these memories of experiences. We are caterpillars in a ring of fire, as Martin Luther wrote--unable to rescue ourselves. We need help from above.
Accept what happened. What happened, happened. Then, as the Apostle Paul advises, give thanks in everything, though not for everything. Give thanks because God can bring good out of the swindle and the injustice. Ask him to bring magic and beauty from the ashes.
If, like the persistent widow Jesus spoke of, you want to pray for justice--that the swindler and the abusers’ characters are revealed, so many are protected, then do so--but first, purify your own life.
And now, just forgive. Say aloud, I forgive you for … You are setting a captive free. Yourself. Come alive. Be free. 
And when memories of deep injuries arise, say: “No. No. Not going there.” Stop repeating the devastating story to yourself or anyone else. Don’t waste your time & emotional energy, nor let yourself be overwhelmed by anger at someone else’s evil actions. Don’t let the past poison today. Refuse to allow reinjury. Deliberately think instead of things noble, lovely, admirable, excellent, and praiseworthy.
So keep trying, in obedience, to forgive, to let go of your anger until you suddenly realise that you have forgiven, and can remember past events without agitation. God be with us!
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