 |
| Georgian Bainov with his fiddle |
 |
| Heidi Baker dancing in the River of God before her talk
|
I no longer attend a Charismatic church, but do occasionally go to Charismatic meeting or conferences. I’ve been to three this year, to RiverCamp, Revival Alliance and to listen to Patricia Bootsma, leader of Toronto church made famous by the Toronto Blessing.
A blog commentator seemed bemused as to why I do go. I am reasonably careful and intentional about my use of time—certainly lead an examined life!–so obviously wouldn’t go without good reason, but it’s good to try to verbalise the reasons.
1) Ah, this is perhaps the biggest reason: Worship.
Sometimes, one’s spiritual life can get mind-centred, or me-centred. You know, praying about one’s concerns, praying for guidance, learning about God from the Bible, reading about the spiritual life. It is ME seeking God.
What setting aside a few days to worship God in community gives me is the experience of worship. Forgetting self, forgetting all the restless thoughts of a restless mind, forgetting everything, just submerging myself in the sea of God. Oh, how lovely that is, to forget self, leave self behind, and soak in the sea of God.
Oh, I love it, love worship, but worship is the weakest link in my spiritual life. I am not very good at it alone at home—simply because I have not practised enough. My mind takes over and talks to God. I tend to pause the worship music and meditate on the lyrics. But in the company of hundreds of others, I am carried away by the music, by the lack of distractions, by the fact that I can’t really escape from the room or pause the music–and oh, I worship God, and I find that my soul was craving for it!!
We are made for worship, that is what we will be doing in heaven, and, so worship fulfils a need of even the most cerebral soul.
2) People like Heidi Baker, John Arnott and Bill Johnson have a deeper faith and knowledge of God than I do. They write and speak well. So in listening to them, I see a high water mark of the joy, faith and miracles which, to my way of thinking are part of “the normal Christian life.” I realize there’s so much more. I want to strive for it.
2) My work–writing!!–is very intense, and so am I. I cannot go on writing for long weeks without a break. I could go to Europe, and do so, several times a year. So far in 2012, I’ve been on three trips to Istanbul, Ireland and Copenhagen, and to three Christian conferences.
I found both stimulating and very interesting, but the latter will have a far greater influence on the course of my life than the former. The latter have brought me more joy, and, more importantly for me, wisdom and direction.
I wouldn’t want to only go to retreats and conferences, but sometimes there is an emptiness in hedonistic travel, and I crave quietness, wisdom, and God. Ideally, I would construct holidays with time to seek God, as well as to explore.
3) I do pray most every day, but at home, I am mainly reading, writing and blogging. I am not setting aside long hours to seek God’s face, to seek his direction. At retreats and spiritual conferences, that’s all I do!
So I sometimes get direction for the year ahead, as when I received clear direction that it was time to return to writing and to wrap up my memoir in the course of the next 12 months.
This has only happened once, but we receiveda prophetic word which significantly changed my daughter Zoe’s confidence, emotional state, and sense of call and direction.
If a life is a work of art, always in flux, in spending time with God, I receive fresh direction; good ideas; ideas for tweaks to blogging, daily routines, financial practices etc; encouragement, guidance, and new inspiration. And occasionally a sentence or two or a clear direction from God.
If one thinks of time as a raw material, a resource, then investing your time, and more importantly, your whole will and spirit and soul into seeking God and God’s guidance is a great investment.
4 “Better is one day in your house than a 1000 elsewhere.”
Well, is it true, or isn’t it true? If it’s true, why not act accordingly?
I guess by choosing to spend days in praise and worship and listening to Bible talks from those far deeper in the holy river of God, I am making this choice: that a day in God’s house is better than a thousand elsewhere.
6 It’s a great experience for children to spend time thinking of spiritual things, and to develop a depth to their own spiritual lives. Being young, being impressionable, they have had spiritual experiences, like being slain in the spirit, which I have not had.
7 My theology on this is borrowed. However, I first received the Holy Spirit and the gift of tongues when someone prayed for me to. I experientially know that I am more likely to be touched and refilled with the Spirit when someone deeper in the River prays for me to, or when I spend a long time in God’s presence seeking this. And being filled to overflowing with God’s spirit is a prize well worth seeking!!
I have two retreats planned, one in Germany, one in Wales, which will combine a rest, long walks, some exploration, and much time resting, learning and being strengthened in the holy river of God.
Read my new memoir: Rosaries, Reading, Secrets: A Catholic Childhood in India (US) or UK.
Connect on Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/anitamathiaswriter/
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/anita.mathias/
Twitter: https://twitter.com/AnitaMathias1
My book of essays: Wandering Between Two Worlds (US) or UK
We are going to Fflad-y-Brenin again in Feb. We'd love to meet up. Maybe we could treat you all to dinner in a restaurant so we don't put you out again.
🙂 Look forward to it!
If you go anywhere near us we would love to see you all again!
Ah, it's the residue of my Catholic upbringing, with its separation between the clergy and laity which probably makes it restful to sit and listen to experts pontificate.
As long as they make sense, honestly seem to have had a deeper experience of God than I, and are nice people.
Nothing more annoying than to be trapped in an empty, boring sermon, or a pompous one. Then, thank God for iPhones, and all the distractions on them.
Sometimes I am so impatient for “truth” that I can be impatient with the peer discussion, and just want a pre-digested true answer. But I guess Jesus taught his disciples step by step by living in community, and perhaps that is how we learn best!
I've been to Taize as a young adult and then my daughter went when she was 18. We're both huge fans! I love that style of spiritual nourishment-living in community, sharing thoughts and ideas, talking about God with peers (rather than an authority figure being the only voice heard), and worshipping in deep powerful ways.
Don't get me wrong, I also enjoy sermons and talk given by knowledgable folks but also enjoy exploring ideas in a peer-to-peer fashion as well.
Thanks, Charity.
LA, cool. Just googled Cursillo. I am thinking of going to Taize, which will have peace, quiet and music. However, my oldest daughter has vital school-leaving exams in June, so I may need to curb my gypsy impulses this year, and experience God at home (though not in a laundry basket!!)
The crowds and the noise would just shut me down. A similar experience that I take in is going to Cursillo weekends where I can serve amidst the spirit tangibly moving among us. We have a weekend coming up in October and while I can't be there to work the whole weekend, I will be dropping in to help out as much as I can. There is generally about 75 participants and people who make me want to become a better person. We are a pretty tight sister/brotherhood and only see each other at these weekends. The talks, while always following the same prescribed path, are different each year because they're given by different people with a totally different perspective and life experience. And being lay-led with a strong clergy partnership, makes these weekends a powerful spiritual movement within the Episcopal church. And while worship is a piece, it's more of a tangible-what-can-the-spirit-do-in-your-life kind of message. I tend more towards worshipping by-serving. Sometimes I work kitchen team and while we generally don't get to hear the talks, we get to participate by praying each of the speakers up in preparation for their talks (and boy the spirit gets a'movin then!) and then we pray them back down afterwards. And of course I'm a pretty wild-and-crazy-for-God kinda person, so things can really get God-crazy over the green beans and mashed potatoes!
I love spending time with my charismatic circles! Sometimes you do come across things that seem manipulative, but I try hard to leave those things/people behind and take away with me all the good things (like the worship, prayer, and joy, as you talk about in your post). Ever since I read a book about a revival of the Holy Spirit in Wales back during the 1920s-30s, I have wanted to go there – I hope you have a wonderful and restorative time there!