God speaks to us, guides us, and shows us his will through the circumstances of our lives.
And sometimes, through our bodies.
“Pain insists upon being attended to. God whispers to us in our pleasures, speaks in our consciences, but shouts in our pains. It is his megaphone to a deaf world,” as C. S. Lewis put it.
And for me, the pain that shrieks most loudly, insistently, in a voice which cannot be ignored is physical pain.
For almost a year, I had a mystery pain, which was first diagnosed as sciatica, and then as moderate-to-severe arthritis, and spondylolisthesis. It made walking unbearable, and led to a series of expensive visits to physiotherapists, osteopaths and masseurs, first NHS and then private. (Interestingly, it lifted, unbelievably, and miraculously, after a spine surgeon, and Oxford Professor of Orthopaedic Surgery… get this… PRAYED for me in church, and prayed for me with absolute faith!!)
But for a year it dominated my life… ruling out running, and affecting my long walks, my sleep, my travel, my exercise, my happiness, and my usually sunny temperament!
* * *
“Everyone is a house with four rooms, a physical, a mental, an emotional and a spiritual. Most of us tend to live in one room most of the time but, unless we go into every room every day, even if only to keep it aired, we are not a complete person,” wrote Rumer Godden, (a favourite writer of mine, when I was a teenager).
For most of my life, until my early thirties, the intellectual room predominated… I ignored the physical. Then through my thirties and forties, I probably spent the most time and energy, thought and passion in the spiritual room. But last year, pain shouted, the body first.
* * *
The body first? Yes, for it is the home in which mind, spirit, and heart live. And if pain or dread diseases grounds the body in their imperative way, then the other dimensions of a full human, the spiritual, the intellectual and the spiritual are usually similarly crippled.
So for the first time in my life… I am prioritising health, learning about the best nutrition for my body (food as medicine!!). I am doing my sciatica exercises… and yoga. I am doing some meditation too, which as Jon Kabat-Zinn has shown mysteriously reduces physical pain, perhaps by reducing the flight-or-fight response, perhaps by promoting relaxation.
I am paying more rigorous attention to what I eat, and have shed a total of 46 pounds.
* * *
The impressive mega-church founder, Rick Warren, whose success in ministry and evangelism and writing is matched by his legendary generosity, writes
“If you want to change Your life, start with your body.
For change to happen in any area of your life, whether it’s financial, vocational, educational, mental, or relational, you have to begin with the physical.
Why? Because your body affects your behaviour. Your muscles affect your moods and your motivation. Your physiology can actually affect your psychology.”
It’s ironic that it took the megaphone of pain, and an inability to exercise without pain, to decide to put the body first!
Jesus talks of the steep and narrow path that leads to life. I love the Lake District which I visited last year, the Himalayas, and especially the Alps. The gasping, sometimes tedious effort on the steep and narrow paths lead to fabulous wild views we could not have seen any other way. The trick is to enjoy each step, each view on the journey. “Trust what is difficult,” the German poet Rainer Maria Rilke wrote; trust the process, trust that the steep and narrow path will lead to joy.
And so I will continue prioritising changing my body… as a prelude to positively changing all the things that my body affects… my often tired mind, my sometimes cantankerous, and sometimes soaring spirit, and my sometimes cranky and sometimes sanguine emotions!
Wish me luck!
(All photographs taken by me, on my iPhone 6S, in the Lake District, earlier this month).
Some (affiliate) links which helped me, and might help you.
Meditation tapes. I particularly recommend Jon Kabat-Zinn on Amazon.com and on Amazon.co.uk
Mark Williams meditation tapes on Amazon.com and on Amazon.co.uk
Rick Warren’s Daniel Plan includes the spiritual elements of weight loss, as well as offering a helpful practical plan, which includes exercise. On Amazon.com and on Amazon.co.uk
Weighted blankets have almost magically improved the depth, quality and length of my sleep. I use this one… on Amazon.com and on Amazon.co.uk
My Fitbit HR helps me track my steps, my active hours, my sleep and many other things. On Amazon.com and on Amazon.co.uk
Read my new memoir: Rosaries, Reading, Secrets: A Catholic Childhood in India (US) or UK.
Connect on Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/anitamathiaswriter/
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/anita.mathias/
Twitter: https://twitter.com/AnitaMathias1
My book of essays: Wandering Between Two Worlds (US) or UK
David C Brown says
Sciatica can be very demanding; in everything we need to learn God’s grace, but also to be patient since He is the Healer. I was in the Lake District at the start of the month and enjoyed it. Have you tried the Scottish Highlands?
Anita Mathias says
Thanks, David. I was also in the Lake District at the start of June, near Bassenthwaite, and loved it. I have never been to the Scottish Highlands. Do you recommend it?
Mollie Lyon says
After many years of problems with irritable bowel syndrome, I found a regimen that is working. I am eating more healthily than when I first empty nested. I want to put pure food in my mouth.
I always walk, a slower walk now that my dog is eleven. I noticed about a month ago my thighs going numb when I stand too long, which I do with my charting as a home health nurse, write as I do my assessment .I thought I would try a childhood friend’s yoga class. I believe I overextended my left leg and Sunday morning after resting it all day Saturday, I heard a pop when I was walking. I sprained a muscle , a thin long one and fortunately, I have a week off work. It is hard to rest, but them I do some activities and the pain is there. So, I, too, am listening to my body. Live younger longer- a Shaklee slogan, but I do like it, or as a ninety four year old patient told me, “I’m going to live until I die.”
Anita Mathias says
Hi Mollie, Lovely to hear from you. Imagine hearing a pop! How stressful. I do love yoga, but frequently do injure myself, injure my ankle in some poses, especially those which require you to place all your body weight on your toes, or just on one foot while you fly. I think I will continue… though I am nervous since the ankle pain after the last class meant I could no longer walk for exercise for almost a week! Ah, well, aging!! Anita xx
JoAnn says
Excellent advice that speaks to me. I have been dealing with a great amount of stress taking care of family business, as well as grieving the loss of my husband. Lately I have been having more frequent bouts of depression, which leads to eating too much and lacking motivation for anything, including my writing. Your words inspire me to put myself first so that I can be fit and filled with God’s strength and grace to handle each day’s burdens. Thank you, Anita, for sharing your story.
Anita Mathias says
JoAnn, you are dealing with SO, SO much. Don’t go it alone. I am working with a health coach, and recording everything I eat, and then going through it weekly, changing my diet, and losing a pound a week over the last 4 weeks. We are aiming to double that in the next four weeks. Please consider getting someone to walk beside you in this difficult stretch of the road… a personal trainer, a therapist, counsellor, health coach, as you feel led. ( I am a fan of anti-depressants, whether natural like St. John’s Wort, or prescription to help us over the hump of sad times which devastate brain chemistry. I don’t use them myself, any more, but I have in the past.
Journalling, and reading the Bible and journalling our honest responses are also therapeutic.
My blessings, JoAnn!
Serena Kaylen Crompton says
I always devour every word you write, Anita. Thank you! At 64 and having dealt with severe arthritis for two plus decades, I am only now learning to “listen to” my body. I wish I’d read this long ago.
Anita Mathias says
Thanks so much, Serena. I wish pain hadn’t forced me to listen to my body, and put it first.
John MacArthur says
This struck a chord – what a surprise – a lot of your stuff does, Anita. I share your love of the mountains, their breathless, ethereal beauty, requiring more from us than the gentle path through the woods.
Obviously, there are two kinds of pain, chronic and acute. The chronic is the creak of ‘crook’t age’ -I have to reboot the system every morning to get everything working, the knees need to be lubricated by a little up and down, the spine needs uncoiling as if a malevolent kundalini has invaded.. The other, the acute, the ‘do something now’ kind of agony, off the scale and serious struck me on a trip to Mexico in March and I spent three weeks in the hospital. Age brings awareness that this room requires more maintenance than it once did and this being so, so do all the other rooms. The intellect needs stimulation, the spiritual needs refreshment and so on. Self-care isn’t selfish, it’s necessary.
Regards to Roy.
Anita Mathias says
The “the acute, the ‘do something now’ kind of agony, off the scale” agony sounds excruciating. I am so sorry to read this, and hope it’s all over now.
This is actually my first experience of chronic pain, which, though mild, prevents much walking… and I guess I am being a bit of a baby about it!!
Aging has been fun for me… it’s a more spacious time of life, with more time, more perspective, and a more light-hearted, and amused perspective on things. Of course, at this time of life, everything can change in a moment with a unfavourable health diagnosis!
Ken says
Thanks for link, Anita. It’s been awhile since last i heard from you, in an article on “if a thing’s worth doing, it’s worth doing even badly.” I can commiserate with you. About two weeks ago, i received a pacemaker for my only recently discovered cardiomyopathy. . . and i am dealing with sciatica, myself. I enjoyed the views of lakes which you share in yr article. I pray for you your every happiness.
Anita Mathias says
Thank you, Ken, and good wishes for good health, and a swift recovery. Blessings, Anita