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When you’re waiting for the lightning and you miss the rain (A guest post from Kelli Woodford)

By Anita Mathias

Today’s guest poster, Kelli Woodford lives in the Midwest, with her husband and her seven blue-eyed children, and in the midst of it quietly chronicles grace on her blog The Chronicles of Grace

peony flower2

Confession: I hate prophetic posts.

My heart yearns for story. The subtlety of its events, the conflict and resolution, the intimacy of character development. Story tugs at the heart in surprising ways. Ways unimagined and unseen. And I would suggest, produces a deeper, lasting change on its hearers than a prophetic, calling-it-out word, because it engages more facets of the intricate design of the human being: it engages the heart. Prophetic posts just can’t touch that.

But I’m about to write one.

Because I need to remember my size.

So often I labor and get weary trying to wrap my mind around a concept. The abstractions of sin and salvation; the depths of human connection and multifaceted relationships; bigger and bigger the questions, rising from a mind filled with all things notional. Everything from law and grace to faith and deeds to mice and men. I read and research, fill my days with ponderings, bounce ideas off whoever comes to mind – and then suddenly the sun goes down (what?!? how did that happen!) and I realize how much I have missed.

It might be part of my personality, it might be an old addiction dying a hard death, it might be that idolatrous yearning for certainty that we all find comfort in. But there is no life like the one at my fingertips.

And By God, I’m going to enjoy it.

So I’ve put my hands in the dirt and wiped bottoms and made delicious pinterest-quality dinners, only to burn the edges. I’ve tossed a wiffle ball to my kids and run and tagged them and tripped on sticks and felt grass coming alive. Felt me coming alive. I’ve thrown open windows and sucked huge lungfuls of summer wind and fresh black earth, turned over in the fields around my house. I’ve sung loud, old hymns and Mumfords, shower water warm enough to ease the ache of holding up more than I can. Believing hard in grace and choice. I’ve scrubbed carpet stains and toilet bowls and felt the dry tightness of my finger tips that lingers after the bleach is back under the sink. And I’ve missed these things.

Oh, don’t get me wrong, I have done them all along. But doing them to get them done is different than doing them to relish the moments.

When my mind is afloat in matters too great for me, then I am not there with my kids in our rag-tag baseball game. I am not there to taste the west wind or hear my own voice off shower walls. I am not present for the moments of my life drifting humbly past while I surf the waves.

But, if there’s anything I hate more than a prophetic post (in which you find yourself elbow deep here), it is a guilt-trip post.

So I’ll not make this into that.

I will readily admit that there are times for big issues. There are moments when all the dailies must be abandoned in favor of the lightning bolt that just seared the snot out of my easy answers and left me scorched and smiling. There are times for study, and for prayer, and for solitude, and for mano-a-mano combat.

And there are times to cease.

For me, now is the latter.

Because when time and God have done their thing and I’m smelling the singe and wishing for more fire? I should hold the ash in my hand and call it a very holy thing. But not a predictable one. Perhaps the kind of dirt that rings a soul after an extended time in an ivory tower is harder to wash than a crusty toilet bowl. Perhaps it can only be sanitized by digging my bare digits into earth and pain and Velveeta and lilacs and the radical romance of everyday hope.

And when it’s time for this kind of soul-cleansing, I should walk into my bathroom, scrub brush in hand. I should walk into my yard, dragging the bat behind me. I should walk even into the church (eek!), armed only with love.

I should leave the wrangling words and the draining discussions and go out and plant a flower.

Then I should watch it grow.

Kelli
Kelli Woodford

I live in the midwestern U.S., surrounded by cornfields and love, with my husband and seven blue-eyed children. We laugh, we play, we fight, we mend; but we don’t do anything that even slightly resembles quiet. Unless it’s listening to our lives, which has proved to be the biggest challenge of them all.

I blog regularly-ish at Chronicles of Grace.  You can also find me on Facebook  and Twitter.

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Filed Under: In which I proudly introduce my guest posters Tagged With: Guest posts, Kelli Woodford

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Comments

  1. Laura Boggess says

    July 3, 2013 at 2:10 pm

    Two of my favorite ladies, in one place! And Kelli? Guilty. How many times have I mused over this very issue? I wonder if it is true for all of us writerly types? Sometimes we need to set down the pen, set down the camera and live the thing, for Pete’s sake 🙂

    • Anita Mathias says

      July 3, 2013 at 8:21 pm

      Laura! Lovely to see you here!

    • kelli woodford says

      July 3, 2013 at 9:29 pm

      live the thing. yes. exactly.

  2. Bill Holden says

    July 2, 2013 at 5:03 pm

    “…the radical romance of everyday hope” that line is awesome! If we all lived that way, what a world we would live in!

    • kelli woodford says

      July 2, 2013 at 10:22 pm

      yessir. i, for one, see it better when i feel that black earth beneath my feet.
      thank you for reading, Bill. (and nice to meet you.)

  3. bluecottonmemory says

    July 2, 2013 at 3:03 pm

    I love that you laugh, you fight, you play and you mend:) 5-sensory living – it is so important – I am learning how to give my boys more space – and make sure my living is still filled-up – that I don’t remain idle while they stretch for independence:) It’s not baseball bats at our house – but cornhole and soccer (though I gave up on soccer when my one son beamed me in the face accidently a few years ago – playing soccer with 6 ft boys is beyond me now – but we’re trying to pick up the tennis racket and drag them to the courts with us – to find new ways to weave into their growing up:)

    • kelli woodford says

      July 2, 2013 at 10:20 pm

      i think i would be done with soccer after an incident like that, too. ugh. no, my kids are still little enough that i can play with them [safely], but i know this will not always be the way it is. thank you for reading and engaging here, friend.

  4. Kathy Owens says

    July 1, 2013 at 9:00 pm

    And if your kids were to read this, mama Kelli, I am sure they would whisper, “Amen!” and love you the more for your confession and your willingness to enter into THEIR world with them!! May you be blessed with the wonder of His Presence even in the wonder of theirs!

    • kelli woodford says

      July 2, 2013 at 12:37 am

      if they see me with eyes of grace at the end of the day, then perhaps God and i have succeeded at something. thanks for your encouragement, Mom. love you.

  5. Beth Steffaniak says

    July 1, 2013 at 4:41 pm

    If there’s one thing I’ve learned in all of my years, it’s that God is never predictable! I keep expecting Him to be and He never is! Ha! I love that you are ceasing from striving for more of *perhaps* what you want and simply letting the summer wash over you, even if that means a “muddy wash” in the dirt of your yard. 🙂 Love that you are sensitive to where God leads you, Kelli. It inspires us all to stop and listen for His voice.

    • kelli woodford says

      July 1, 2013 at 6:20 pm

      thanks, Beth, for your kind words.
      and yes, that predictability thing gets me over and over. but it’s a *learning* to walk by faith and here’s to trusting Him to meet me among the lilies.
      so glad you stopped by, friend.

  6. Shelly Miller says

    July 1, 2013 at 2:51 pm

    It’s a tight rope of balance for me here. I need both and often tilt too far to the side of pondering and looking for answers to the mystery and forget I need to put my hands in the soil to get them. Living out our salvation, that is where Jesus speaks loudest. At least for me. Thanks for hosting this lovely lady Anita. Two beloved hearts in one place is a symphony.

    • Anita Mathias says

      July 1, 2013 at 3:19 pm

      “I need both and often tilt too far to the side of pondering and looking for answers to the mystery and forget I need to put my hands in the soil to get them.”
      Hi Shelly, I am like that too! I am looking forward to hosting your words next! 🙂

    • kelli woodford says

      July 1, 2013 at 3:56 pm

      yes. i am so prone to the abstract that the concrete can be sorely neglected (like laundry … ? heh. not even going there). but it is often in the faithful performance of menial tasks that the greatest lightning bolts strike. and that i remember truly how little i am.

      thanks for being here, sweet Shelly. and i’m excited you’ll be here soon, too!!

  7. IfMeadowsSpeak says

    July 1, 2013 at 2:47 pm

    Kelli, these words do not disappoint. You do prophetic so beautifully! I’m also busy living right now, I haven’t had the gumption for words or debates or draining discussion or what-not’s. I’ve been taking this time to literally smell the roses and enjoy God’s creation both in nature and the natural that came in the form of 2 boys and a man. Thank you for sharing this.

    • kelli woodford says

      July 1, 2013 at 3:57 pm

      thank you, Tammy. you bless me, not only with your words but in your modeling of “smelling the roses.” such a holy thing.

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anita.mathias

Writer, Blogger, Reader, Mum. Christian. Instaing Oxford, travel, gardens and healthy meals. Oxford English alum. Writing memoir. Lives in Oxford, UK

Images from walks around Oxford. #beauty #oxford # Images from walks around Oxford. #beauty #oxford #walking #tranquility #naturephotography #nature
So we had a lovely holiday in the Southwest. And h So we had a lovely holiday in the Southwest. And here we are at one of the world’s most famous and easily recognisable sites.
#stonehenge #travel #england #prehistoric England #family #druids
And I’ve blogged https://anitamathias.com/2020/09/13/on-not-wasting-a-desert-experience/
So, after Paul the Apostle's lightning bolt encounter with the Risen Christ on the road to Damascus, he went into the desert, he tells us...
And there, he received revelation, visions, and had divine encounters. The same Judean desert, where Jesus fasted for forty days before starting his active ministry. Where Moses encountered God. Where David turned from a shepherd to a leader and a King, and more, a man after God’s own heart.  Where Elijah in the throes of a nervous breakdown hears God in a gentle whisper. 
England, where I live, like most of the world is going through a desert experience of continuing partial lockdowns. Covid-19 spreads through human contact and social life, and so we must refrain from those great pleasures. We are invited to the desert, a harsh place where pruning can occur, and spiritual fruitfulness.
A plague like this has not been known for a hundred years... John Piper, after his cancer diagnosis, exhorted people, “Don’t Waste Your Cancer”—since this was the experience God permitted you to have, and He can bring gold from it. Pandemics and plagues are permitted (though not willed or desired) by a Sovereign God, and he can bring life-change out of them. 
Let us not waste this unwanted, unchosen pandemic, this opportunity for silence, solitude and reflection. Let’s not squander on endless Zoom calls—or on the internet, which, if not used wisely, will only raise anxiety levels. Let’s instead accept the invitation to increased silence and reflection
Let's use the extra free time that many of us have long coveted and which has now been given us by Covid-19 restrictions to seek the face of God. To seek revelation. To pray. 
And to work on those projects of our hearts which have been smothered by noise, busyness, and the tumult of people and parties. To nurture the fragile dreams still alive in our hearts. The long-deferred duty or vocation
So, we are about eight weeks into lockdown, and I So, we are about eight weeks into lockdown, and I have totally sunk into the rhythm of it, and have got quiet, very quiet, the quietest spell of time I have had as an adult.
I like it. I will find going back to the sometimes frenetic merry-go-round of my old life rather hard. Well, I doubt I will go back to it. I will prune some activities, and generally live more intentionally and mindfully.
I have started blocking internet of my phone and laptop for longer periods of time, and that has brought a lot of internal quiet and peace.
Some of the things I have enjoyed during lockdown have been my daily long walks, and gardening. Well, and reading and working on a longer piece of work.
Here are some images from my walks.
And if you missed it, a blog about maintaining peace in the middle of the storm of a global pandemic
https://anitamathias.com/2020/05/04/a-mind-of-life-and-peace/  #walking #contemplating #beauty #oxford #pandemic
A few walks in Oxford in the time of quarantine. A few walks in Oxford in the time of quarantine.  We can maintain a mind of life and peace during this period of lockdown by being mindful of our minds, and regulating them through meditation; being mindful of our bodies and keeping them happy by exercise and yoga; and being mindful of our emotions in this uncertain time, and trusting God who remains in charge. A new blog on maintaining a mind of life and peace during lockdown https://anitamathias.com/2020/05/04/a-mind-of-life-and-peace/
In the days when one could still travel, i.e. Janu In the days when one could still travel, i.e. January 2020, which seems like another life, all four of us spent 10 days in Malta. I unplugged, and logged off social media, so here are some belated iphone photos of a day in Valetta.
Today, of course, there’s a lockdown, and the country’s leader is in intensive care.
When the world is too much with us, and the news stresses us, moving one’s body, as in yoga or walking, calms the mind. I am doing some Yoga with Adriene, and again seeing the similarities between the practice of Yoga and the practice of following Christ.
https://anitamathias.com/2020/04/06/on-yoga-and-following-jesus/
#valleta #valletamalta #travel #travelgram #uncagedbird
Images from some recent walks in Oxford. I am copi Images from some recent walks in Oxford.
I am coping with lockdown by really, really enjoying my daily 4 mile walk. By savouring the peace of wild things. By trusting that God will bring good out of this. With a bit of yoga, and weights. And by working a fair amount in my garden. And reading.
How are you doing?
#oxford #oxfordinlockdown #lockdown #walk #lockdownwalks #peace #beauty #happiness #joy #thepeaceofwildthings
Images of walks in Oxford in this time of social d Images of walks in Oxford in this time of social distancing. The first two are my own garden.  And I’ve https://anitamathias.com/2020/03/28/silver-and-gold-linings-in-the-storm-clouds-of-coronavirus/ #corona #socialdistancing #silverlinings #silence #solitude #peace
Trust: A Message of Christmas He came to earth in Trust: A Message of Christmas  He came to earth in a  splash of energy
And gentleness and humility.
That homeless baby in the barn
Would be the lynchpin on which history would ever after turn
Who would have thought it?
But perhaps those attuned to God’s way of surprises would not be surprised.
He was already at the centre of all things, connecting all things. * * *
Augustus Caesar issued a decree which brought him to Bethlehem,
The oppressions of colonialism and conquest brought the Messiah exactly where he was meant to be, the place prophesied eight hundred years before his birth by the Prophet Micah.
And he was already redeeming all things. The shame of unwed motherhood; the powerlessness of poverty.
He was born among animals in a barn, animals enjoying the sweetness of life, animals he created, animals precious to him.
For he created all things, and in him all things hold together
Including stars in the sky, of which a new one heralded his birth
Drawing astronomers to him.
And drawing him to the attention of an angry King
As angelic song drew shepherds to him.
An Emperor, a King, scholars, shepherds, angels, animals, stars, an unwed mother
All things in heaven and earth connected
By a homeless baby
The still point on which the world still turns. The powerful centre. The only true power.
The One who makes connections. * * *
And there is no end to the wisdom, the crystal glints of the Message that birth brings.
To me, today, it says, “Fear not, trust me, I will make a way.” The baby lay gentle in the barn
And God arranges for new stars, angelic song, wise visitors with needed finances for his sustenance in the swiftly-coming exile, shepherds to underline the anointing and reassure his parents. “Trust me in your dilemmas,” the baby still says, “I will make a way. I will show it to you.” Happy Christmas everyone.  https://anitamathias.com/2019/12/24/trust-a-message-of-christmas/ #christmas #gemalderieberlin #trust #godwillmakeaway
Look, I’ve designed a journal. It’s an omnibus Look, I’ve designed a journal. It’s an omnibus Gratitude journal, habit tracker, food and exercise journal, bullet journal, with time sheets, goal sheets and a Planner. Everything you’d like to track.  Here’s a post about it with ISBNs https://anitamathias.com/2019/12/23/life-changing-journalling/. Check it out. I hope you and your kids like it!
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