Anita Mathias: Dreaming Beneath the Spires

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Archives for 2012

A Late October Stroll along the Chemin de la Corniche (Luxembourg), also known as Europe’s Loveliest Balcony

By Anita Mathias

Guest Post by Roy Mathias

We started at the bottom of the valley, in a area called Grund – known for its caves carved into the rock.

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View of caves and buildings in the rock face

 

 

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The front door is behind the shrubs!

 

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View along a Grund alley, with St Michael’s church at the very top.

The Alzette river separates Grund from the center of Luxembourg.

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View of Luxembourg from bridge over the Alzette

 

Another view of the Alzette later in the evening

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The Alzette in the evening

Some views on the way up to the Chemin de la Corniche

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The Chemin de la Corniche is acobbled promenade along the side of a cliff,  great view up the hill, and down in the Alzette valley, and the opposite roof tops and viaduct.

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Perhaps the best view of the day

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Azlette valley, showing vegetable gardens, the river, brider, viaduct with a train, and a glimpse of the Casemate tunnels (top left)

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Neumünster Abbey across the Alzette

 

View of casemate passages from the Chemin de la Corniche

View of casemate passages from the Chemin de la Corniche

A couple of views of nature on the way

A closer view of the viaduct

A closer view of the viaduct

 

birch bark and green leaves

Birch bark and green leaves

 

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A couple of view of St. Michael’s church spire

St. Michael's Church, Luxembourg

St. Michael’s Church

 

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Inside the church there were several stained glass windows in the traditional colours, as well as this one more unusual one above the baptismal font.

 

Baptismal font stained glass window, St. Michael's Church, Luxembourg.

Baptismal font stained glass window, St. Michael’s Church, Luxembourg.

A Raised bay window on the Rue Large (Luxembourg)

A Raised bay window on the Rue Large (Luxembourg)

 

It was evening by the time we finished

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Filed Under: random Tagged With: Luxembourg, Travel

Germany and Me: How Nations Change their National Character. At His Place, Saarland, Germany

By Anita Mathias

community_without_walls

Community Without Walls

When I was a teenager in the seventies, the libraries of the two clubs we belonged to were flooded with World War II novels. I remember, at the age of 11, reading QB VII set in a German concentration camp, Mila 18 about the Warsaw Ghetto Uprising, The Angry Hills, and Exodus.

Gosh, they scarred me for life, becoming the stuff of nightmares. I watched a few Nazi films with my parents, but very few since; I find them too upsetting. I had a horror of the Nazis, and by extension (and ignorance) a fear of all Germans.

And it didn’t help that my boarding school, St. Mary’s Convent, Nainital was run by German I.B.M.V. missionary nuns. As a new girl, aged nine, I once walked in to make my confession when Sister Mary Joseph was making hers. I stood stunned for a minute. She made her confession, came out and beat me savagely with her umbrella. Sister Secunda told the girls that I brought “the bad spirit,” into the class, and wondered if I were demon-possessed, I was so naughty.

Of course, not all of them were mean. Sister Cecilia lived for music, and I hated singing. I disrupted so many choir practices by singing through my nose or crawling out of the room that she finally exempted me from attending them—the only girl so exempted.  However, at the end of the year, when there was the long awaited “Choir Treat,” pastries, Indian sweets, and Hershey’s Kisses her niece sent her from America (which I privately mourned that I’d miss) she told me to come to. Without going to a single practice. Grace, grace, for those who repent at the 11th hour!!

* * *

When I first came to England 28 years ago, I had a housemate who had done military service in the army, and was German in the stereotype of the World War II novels. But I noticed over the years, that the Germans I met were lovelier and lovelier. I think of my friends, Jan and Karoline Sassenberg—beautiful, lovely human beings. And I’ve met more and more sweet German Christians in Oxford, smiley, kind, mellow, and easy-going.

My first cousin, Margaret, dated a German man, Dirk Burghagen. He supposedly told her that the very best people in the whole world were Germans, and the very worst people in the whole world were Indians. In spite of that, they married each other!! Anyone who knows both nations can guess what Dirk meant. In many ways, the nations are diametrically opposed.

But nations change. The diametric opposite of an Indian is no longer a German, but probably the Swiss, antithetical in every respect. (And no, I am not going to get myself into trouble with either nation by spelling it out!)

* * *

After the Second World War, Jewish survivors and the nation of Israel had an unofficial motto, “Never Again.” Israelis no longer had time for Yiddishkeit, a gentleness, unworldliness, scholarliness, and sense of humour. Israelis call themselves Sabras, after the prickly pear–thorny, prickly, tough on the outside and (supposedly) sweet on the inside.

Well, the Germans have their own version of “Never Again,” their own collective shame and guilt. The vast majority are deeply ashamed of the sins of their fathers and grandfathers, ashamed of the Nazis, and are warm, hearty, decent people, law-abiding, hard-working, and disciplined.

And, ironically, the nation which destroyed Europe twice in the last century is keeping the European Union together, contributing a disproportionate amount to the European Union’s budget!!

Ah, hope! If nations can change their self-definition and national character, how much more can individuals!

* * *

We are visiting His Place, a lovely guesthouse run by the Community Without Walls, Saarland, Germany.

It was founded by Wayne and Irene Negini, who felt a call to carry on the reformation Martin Luther began in Germany, restoring the emphasis on the grace of God.

The Negrinis began to take people into their home in the tiny, rural village of Wehingen, Saarland and care for them physically, spiritually and psychologically. More and more people moved there with their families, and they gradually formed a Christian community, friendships growing into lifelong covenant relationships.

His Place, the community-run guest-house, is quite a unique experience. The Pastor lights the fire. The worship leader takes your orders. The worship team serves the food.

The Guesthouse is German. Well, it’s what I expected a German guesthouse to be–beautiful, detail-oriented, sweet-smelling, efficient, hearty and welcoming. Love it here!

And the food is a delight. Pea soup with coconut milk cream; stir-fried chicken, sweet potatoes and veg; and an almond cake for dessert. Heavily fruit and veg based, no sugar, hardly any carbs.

Physical health is too little emphasized by the Western church, but now that I have started to restoring my health through running, reducing sugar and carbs, and increasing fruit and vegetables, I am so enjoying the increased vitality, and energy. I have increased my writing hours by 50% with the increased energy, concentration and focus that feeling and being stronger, and sleeping better is giving me.

* * *

We attended the morning service at the church. I enjoyed the worship SO much. The fact that the worship was in German, which I barely know, helped me to switch off my analytical linguistic mind, and just enter the presence of God. Interesting worship—some familiar English language songs translated into German, some original German language worship songs, and some sung in English. Wow, Europeans are SO linguistic!!

The founders of the community, Wayne and Irene Negrini are currently on a cruise, and the ship is stalled because of turbulent weather somewhere in the Mediterranean. Well, perhaps it’s just how it was translated, but we, the church community, stood up, extended our hands and commanded the Mediterranean to be calm.

“Roy, are we commanding the Mediterranean to be calm?” I whispered, half-amused, half-impressed. Indeed, we were! I stood up, extended my arm dramatically with the rest, and had great fun commanding the wind and the waves. “Greater things than these shall you do, because I go to my Father.”

And now to check the weather report!

Filed Under: In which I explore this world called Church Tagged With: Germany, His Place, Saarland, St. Mary's Convent Nainital, Travel, Wayne and Irene Negrini

“The Past is Never Dead. It’s Not Even Past.” When Painful Memories from the Past Intrude

By Anita Mathias

Mosaic from the Mausoleum of Galla Placidia (Ravenna)

“The past is never dead. In fact, it’s not even past,” Faulkner famously writes in Requiem for a Nun.

Throughout my thirties, I read memoirs, hundreds of them. And many of them, not surprisingly, deal with hardscrabble childhoods.

Tobias Wolff writes of his barely educated, itinerant childhood with a single mother, and an abusive stepfather in This Boy’s Life. In An Angel at my Table, New Zealand writer, Janet Frame describes extreme poverty, and extreme shyness, which got her incarcerated in a mental hospital in Dunedin (to be released when her first novel, written there, won a prize).

V.S. Pritchett writes of a childhood with a fantasizing, self-indulgent father, and a subservient mother, “a marriage of rich and poor.” Always evicted, always moving–hence his memoir A Cab at the Door. (It turns out later that his father had a secret second family; his half-sister wrote her own memoir). And in the most elegant memoir every written, Vladimir Nabokov describes his charmed Russian childhood which was shattered by the Revolution in Speak Memory. The Liar’s Club, Angela’s Ashes, the list goes on.

Ah, how pointless many of these long, barren, unnourishing patches must have seemed to the memoirists, and to us, reading them. Such waste.  Full many a flower is born to blush unseen/And waste its sweetness on the desert air, as Thomas Gray wrote, in An Elegy in a Country Churchyard.

 But the past was not really past, not dead, not wasted. It gave those memoirists a story, a career; it made them who they were. Tougher, more resilient, more realistic, well-acquainted with the shadow side of human beings, and with more of a preserving sense of humour than if they had spent pampered childhoods in a hothouse.

* * *

The past, which seemed senseless, meaningless, oh, one big screaming “Why,” revealed its meaning in the future.

The past is never dead, never past, as Faulkner says.  What seems dead and inert can come to life in surprising ways. A 2000 year old Judean date palm seed, recovered from excavations at Herod the Great’s Palace in Masada, Israel was germinated in 2005. A  1,300-year-old sacred lotus recovered from a dry lakebed in northeastern China was geminated in 1995.

And so, in fact, the years and opportunities in our past which seem squandered through our folly, through sins against us, though our fault, our fault, our most grievous fault, are in fact just inert seed-corn, which germinate and sprout in our present, giving us maturity, experience, a sense of humour, and gifts of perspective and wisdom to share.

* * *

 So what do we do when painful episodes from the past bubble up in memory?

We remember that we were not alone when we went through those events; Christ was with us. He stood behind us in those incomprehensible moments, his arms around us, protecting our hearts and spirits from worse harm.

And though we were puzzled, scalded, heartbroken, angry beyond words, we were still, in  a way, preserved. We were “hard pressed, but not crushed; perplexed, but not in despair;  persecuted, but not abandoned; struck down, but not destroyed” (2 Cor. 4:8).

And we take the painful memories of the past very carefully—knowing that God was with us through them, and can and will work them together for good–and place them in God’s big strong hands, and close his fingers over them. And there we leave them.

And we pray.

We pray that as God’s  powerful nurturing hands work with the pain of the past, he will bring beauty from the ashes.

We pray that the same power which raised Jesus from the dead, and can do immeasurably more than all we can ask or dream of asking will take those painful years of strife, of depression, of wasted talent and squandered opportunity, the years of sin and the years of sorrow, mix them, and shape them, and make of them a new thing,

such a form as Grecian goldsmiths make
Of hammered gold and gold enamelling
To keep a drowsy Emperor awake;
Or set upon a golden bough to sing
To lords and ladies of Byzantium

 

Filed Under: random Tagged With: dealing with pain, The past, William Faulkner

Off to “His Place,” a Christian Retreat Centre in Saarland, Germany. “He Restores my Soul”

By Anita Mathias

We are on our way to Germany to stay at His Place, a guesthouse, owned by a Christian community, Community Without Walls, where Rolland Baker was healed from dementia, and Carol Arnott was healed and taught the ten minute worship revolution which has helped me a lot on the days I remember to use it.

We are hoping to explore a bit of Germany, and Luxembourg and France, for Saarland is nestled between them, but also rest, and pray and walk.

I have had an amazing half-term. (For non-Brits, English schools have three 12 week terms, with a precious half-term week off between each 6 week half term, and 3 weeks off for Christmas and Easter, and 7 weeks in the summer. It’s a less gruelling model than the American system).

The British school system suits my own rhythms. I like to read and write for six weeks with increasing focus and intensity, and then have a week of mainly travel and exploration, or pure rest at a retreat centre, and catching up on sleep. And then return, as good as new.

After a wonderful talk on writing, and prayer for the anointing of writing by Mark Stibbe, I wrote at full heat for several weeks. I am now tired. I guess in any spirit-empowered thing one needs to keep one’s eyes on Jesus, or you can sink like Peter, once you stop relying on God’s power, and instead start doing things on auto-pilot.

I am often astonished by the extent I run on adrenalin—you know, got-to-write, got-to-blog, got-to-run, got-to-pray. As we leave on holiday, in our motorhome, I lie down on a bed, and am fast asleep until we reach Dover. Wow, had I really been that tired, just running on green tea, excitement and enthusiasm? As it drains out, I realize how tired I actually was.

I’ve read that when one goes to an unscheduled retreat, the first thing one wants to do is to sleep for long hours. We work—or play!!—for unnatural hours, long into darkness; we wake with an alarm, before we have slept out all our sleep. We live with a constant sleep lag, mild sleep deprivation in some cases. Oooh, why do we do this to ourselves?

According to His Place’s literature Natural silence, majestic views, natural forest gardens and fields, valleys and canyons, rocks and rippling steams can all be found here. Hiking is always fun – at least in Saarland! Germany’s best hiking trails can be found here. Saarland, nestled in between France and Luxembourg, was tailor-made for hikers. It offers both excellent cuisine and a diverse landscape.

The premium hiking trails are circular routes that have been carefully chosen to include the most beautiful landscapes in Saarland.

And yeah, I am looking forward to exploring them!

Here is the link to His Place–http://www.hisplace.eu/hisplace_en.html

Filed Under: random Tagged With: Carol Arnott, His Place, rest, restoration, retreat, Rolland Baker, Saarland, Travel

Stephen King’s Immensely Helpful Book “On Writing”

By Anita Mathias

StephenKingGFDL

Stephen King (2007) credit

King’s short book, On Writing, figures in many writers’ lists of the best books on writing. And deservedly so. It has motivated  me to get my writing shoes on, and get writing.

I listened to it read by King himself on my iPod, while running—on pedestrian country footpaths, and, so far, with more luck than King whose lower leg broke in nine places, spine chipped in eight places, right knee split, right hip fractured, ribs broke, and scalp lacerated during a dreadful car accident while on a muse-wooing walk.

And in “the apocalyptic pain” after this, he continued writing, and writing proved a way back to life for him.

Here are Stephen King’s answers to universal writerly questions.

How much should a writer read?

King does not bother about being cool in this book on writing. So he will tell you prescriptive things that cool writers wouldn’t.

Read a lot. How much is a lot? I have kept lists of the books I’ve read each year since I was 12—and the most I’ve ever completed in a year was 62 (not counting academic books, which one reads rapidly, selectively). And probably another 25 or so on tape, on a good year for audiobooks. Of course, I am a promiscuous speed-reader, and buy many books (non-fiction or spiritual) with the intention of ripping the heart and marrow out of them, rather than reading every page.

Well, Stephen King reads or listens to 70-80 books a year, including about a dozen audiobooks.

King: “If you don’t have the time to read, you don’t have the time or the tools to write. It’s as simple as that.”

“Reading is the creative centre of a writer’s life.”

“The real importance of reading is that it creates an ease and intimacy with the process of writing. Constant reading will pull you into a place where you can write eagerly and without self-consciousness.”

How much should a writer write?

How many words a day? Another uncool question. Well, King aims at 2000 words every morning, with revisions and reading in the evening. Some days he’s done by 11.30 a.m., some days by 1.30 p.m., and sometimes, rarely, it takes till tea.

“For me, not writing is the real work. When I’m writing, it’s all the playground, and the worst three hours I ever spent there were still pretty damned good.”

He keeps fit with long walks–well, until recently.

On Criticism

His teacher asks him about an early attempt at Sci-fi, “What I don’t understand, Stevie, is why you’d write junk like this? You are talented. Why do you want to waste your abilities?

“I had no answer to give. I have spent a good many years since—too many—being ashamed about what I write. I was forty before I realized that almost every writer of fiction or poetry who has ever published a line has been accused by someone of wasting his God-given talent. If you write (or paint or sculpt) someone will try to make you feel lousy about it.”

On Revision

“When you write, you’re telling yourself the story. When you re-write, your main job is taking out all the things that are not the story.”

“Stopping a piece of work just because it is hard, either emotionally or imaginatively, is a bad idea. Sometimes, you have to go on when you don’t feel like it, and sometimes you’re doing good work when it feel like all you’re managing is to shovel shit from a sitting position.”

He does three drafts, the first getting it all down fast; the last one closer to polishing.

He uses this rigorous and enormously difficult formula:

Second Draft= First Draft -10%.

Other Writing Tips

“The biggest aid to regular writing is working in a serene atmosphere. It’s difficult for even the most naturally productive writer to work in an environment where alarms and excursions are the rule rather than the exception.”

Write with a locked door, no TV, games or internet.  “Eliminate every possible distraction.”

Secrets of his success: “I stayed physically healthy, and I stayed married. The converse is true: My writing and the pleasure I take in it have contributed to the stability of my health and home life.”

“Life isn’t a support system for art. It’s the other way around.”

“Skills in description, dialogue and character development all boil down to seeing or hearing clearly and then transcribing what you see or hear with equal clarity.”

Do you do it for the money, honey? he’s often asked. Answer, “No. Don’t now, and never did. I did it for the buzz. I did it for the pure joy of the thing. And if you can do it for joy, you can do it forever.”

And he discovers, after his debilitating accident, “Writing is not life, but sometimes, it can be a way back to life.”

Ah, and let me quote his beautiful last paragraphs,

“On some days, the writing is a pretty grim slog. On others, I feel that buzz of happiness, that sense of having found the right words and put them in a line. It’s like lifting off in an airplane: you are on the ground, on the ground, on the ground… and then you’re up, riding on a magical cushion and prince of all you survey. That makes me happy because it’s what I was made to do.

“After my accident, writing has continued to do what it has always doe: it makes my life a brighter and more pleasant place.”

“Writing isn’t about making money, getting famous, getting laid or making friends. It’s about enriching the lives of those who will read your work, and enriching your own life, as well. It’s about getting up, getting well, and getting over.”

“Getting happy, okay? Getting happy.”

“This book is a permission slip: you can, you should, and if you are brave enough to start, you will. Writing is magic, as much the water of life as any other creative art. The water is free. So drink.”

Drink and be filled up.”

Filed Under: In which I explore writing and blogging and creativity, Writing and Blogging Tagged With: Creativity, reading, Revising, Stephen King, writing

“Five Years have Passed!” : When a Retrospective Glance Consoles

By Anita Mathias

Five years have past; five summers, with the length

Of five long winters!

Wordsworth writes, as he revisits Tintern Abbey, musing on how he has matured over the last five years.

For nature then

To me was all in all.

But now, he sees something else in it. Dare he say it—God?

And I have felt

A presence that disturbs me with the joy

Of elevated thoughts; a sense sublime

Of something far more deeply interfused,

Whose dwelling is the light of setting suns,

And the round ocean and the living air,

And the blue sky, and in the mind of man….

* * *

Five years have passed. Looking back to who we were five years ago, if we are Christians, should bring comfort. We should have grown, matured and deepened over the last five years of walking with Jesus because of the working of his mercy and grace on our souls.

About 14 years ago, I was telling my mentor, Lolly Dunlap, that I was frustrated about my marriage which was mediocre then, rather than excellent (and oh, how I hate mediocrity!!) and my temper, which I then hadn’t learnt to control. (But now I have, I am glad to report!!) And my mothering was distracted, and my housekeeping haphazard, and as for exercise…

“Think about 5 years ago,” she said. “Have you improved in any way over the last 5 years?”

I thought. I brightened. I began to tell her how amazing I was in 2001, compared to what I had been in 1996. I was actually showing off about the progress over which I had been so despondent a few minutes earlier.

So if you’ve been a Christian 5 years, think back to what you were 5 years ago, and thank God for how far you’ve come under his loving eyes, with the action of his grace in your soul.

 I am not what I ought to be.

I am not what I wish to be.

I am not even what I hope to be.

But by the cross of Christ,

I am not what I was.

~John Newton

 

Filed Under: In which I Pursue Personal Transformation or Sanctification

Murakami’s “What I Talk about When I Talk about Running”: The Connection between the Creative Life and Exercise

By Anita Mathias

murakamiAvailable on Amazon.com

I am thoroughly enjoying listening to Haruki Murakami’s “What I Talk About When I Talk About Running,” as I am trying to learn to run (using the NHS Couch to 5K app.)

When Murakami began to write full-time, he gained weight. “If I wanted to have a long life as a novelist, I needed to find a way to keep fit and maintain a healthy weight.” He is an introvert, so running suited him.

As he runs, he changes physically–losing all his extra weight, and developing muscle.  “Now, after years of running, my musculature has changed completely.)

And he finds the hour or two of solitude as he runs important to his mental well-being. The endorphins and “runner’s high” “heal the loneliness,” of his solitary novel-writing. ‘This is not so much an intentional act, but an instinctive” solution, he says.

If he feels frustrated, he goes running a little further, “to physically exhaust” his discontent. The experience leaves him physically stronger, and he thus “improves himself.”

And as his muscles “groan and scream,” his “comprehension meter shoots upwards, and he grasps things.”

He writes, “Having a body that easily puts on weight was perhaps a blessing in disguise. If I don’t want to gain weight, I have to work out hard every day, watch what I eat, and cut down on indulgences. Eventually, your metabolism will greatly improve, and you’ll end up much healthier, not mention stronger. You can even slow down the effects of aging. Whereas the physical strength of people who naturally keep the weight off deteriorates as they age. If you don’t exercise, your muscles will weaken, as will your bones. So this physical nuisance should be viewed as a blessing.”

He says the most important things for a novelist are talent, focus and endurance—the same traits a long distance runner needs.  Running helps him write, and vice-versa. Each of his passions gives him the traits he needed for the other.

* * *

 Anyway, I have loved listening to him as I am trying to learn to run, which, sadly, has not been easy.

But, in running, I have found a form of exercise I enjoy and I really look forward to my every second day short run!

Filed Under: In which I get serious about health and diet and fitness and exercise (really) Tagged With: diet, Haruki Murakami, running, weight loss, What I talk about when I talk about running

When the Risky Word of the Lord Came to the Lonely Prophets

By Anita Mathias

king_joash_elijah_william_dyce

Elisha and Joash (William Dyce)

I am listening to the Bible in a year while walking country trails.  Listening to a whole book in a long walk or two, helps me see “the big picture” of Scripture and its themes.

The Prophets have grabbed me. You just don’t mess with those Prophets, because God is with them.

And yet, it’s a lonely vocation. They are second-guessed, feared, hated, threatened like Elijah, or beaten up and imprisoned like Jeremiah. On the edge of society–menaces, who say what is terribly unpopular, and terribly true.

Their single strength—this mysterious thing that keeps happening to them: And the word of the Lord came to Jeremiah… or Isaiah… or Elijah.

And they have heard that Word before, and it has never let them down. They recognise it from long experience, and so they trust it.

Even when no one else does.

How can they convince anyone else of this essentially private revelation? They can’t. They are ultimately believed because of all the other times the words they heard (or overheard, Is. 6:8) and repeated were absolutely true.

* * *

Some reformed bloggers submit their blogs to pastoral oversight or to a committee.

There was no way the prophets could have done this. Their committee would have said, “Don’t say that—the King won’t like it; the priests won’t like it. The people won’t like. The army won’t like it. X, Y, and Z will think you mean them, and be hurt. And ‘fess up, you do mean them, don’t you?

Why should we trust you a layman rather than the professional priesthood? God has never said that before.  It’s too weird. Too impossible. Are you sure you heard the Lord say this?”

* * *

The advantages of a committee of trusted readers: One does not want to reinvent the wheel theologically—to write with dewy-eyed naivete on a subject on which thought has evolved far beyond your first wonderings. And one doesn’t want to write a blog post asserting something which is simply stupid, or factually or theologically incorrect, which an astute reader can instantly point out.

However, Theology-by-committee will give you safe, don’t-rock-the-boat theology. It probably will not be able to capture where the wind of the spirit is blowing.

Throughout Scripture, when God speaks to men, he generally speaks to individuals, not groups.

The prophets could never, would never have submitted the Word of the Lord to other people’s judgements. Just as well, because the words were so strange, so risky, so unverifiable, that few would have approved them. They had a direct, unmediated relationship with God.

* * *

Throughout Church history, dominant theologies have been quite simply wrong, though backed up with proof texts and Scripture verses.

As Brian McLaren writes, the Western church had been wrong on slavery, wrong on colonialism, wrong on environmental plunder, wrong on subordinating women, wrong on segregation and apartheid (all of which it justified biblically) and wrong on homosexuality.

John Piper, the influential Reformed writer, writes extremely honestly of his racist past, “ I was, in those years, manifestly racist.” 

At the great Urbana Missions Conference in December 1967, Piper writes, “Warren Webster, missionary to Pakistan, answered a student’s question: What if your daughter falls in love with a Pakistani while you’re on the mission field and wants to marry him?


The question was clearly asked from a standpoint that this would be a racial or ethnic dilemma for Webster. (This was four months before Martin Luther King Jr. was killed.) With great forcefulness, Webster said something like: “Better a Christian Pakistani than a godless white American!”

 From that moment, I knew I had a lot of homework to do.

The perceived wrongness of interracial marriage had been for me one of the unshakeable reasons why segregation was right.”

* * *

I was fascinated and appalled by Piper’s humble, honest and contrite essay on his racist past, racism which he and other Christians in the American South (Christian and theological colleges in the South did not accept blacks) backed up with Scripture verses.

Wow, powerful theologians can honestly believe things, and back them up with scripture—and they can be wrong!!

That’s why it’s important to return to the spring of living waters, to the quietness of God’s presence in his throne room, and hear what He is saying for yourself.

* * *

There are dangers to this, of course. Yeah, private pipelines to God could lead to weirdness and evil like David Koresh, Jim Jones and the Guyana suicides, and the Twelve Tribes, a repressive, economically exploitative, weird cult which uses child labour, and requires long working hours, 80-100 hours weekly, of its members, while its leaders lead plush, privileged lives. (My brother-in-law, Dr. David Mathias, a medical doctor, joined them in 1992, and has worked at both medical and manual work from early in the morning till (often) past midnight for twenty years, contributing all his earnings to the cult–and leaders.)

So how does one keep hearing the word of God, without either falling into the weirdness of cults like Twelve Tribes, or accepting airless, airtight theologies without the wind of the Holy Spirit?

* * *

I suppose the way the prophets did? Though the word of the Lord came to them in solitude, it was never for them alone.

The word of the Lord always led them to the King, to the council, to the community, where they were reviled by the many, and revered by the few.

And then, the final test: God validates them. Things turns out just as they predicted. And so people begin to believe them when they say, “Thus says the Lord.”

* * *

It’s interesting, isn’t it, that in Scripture, God rarely speaks to groups or committees (there are some exceptions in Acts). He speaks to individuals, giving them words of enough force and power, ratified by events, for them to influence the crowd.

Moses, Elijah, Jeremiah. Nobody would have had the heart to encourage them on their dangerous paths. Or would have had the heart to take on the responsibility of encouraging them in their risky prophecies. They just had to go it alone.

And though it was a lonely job, and we see Elijah and Jeremiah grow emotionally overwhelmed and skirt the edges of depression and burn-out, the word of the Lord was never for them alone but also for their community. And in the community, though often rejected and beaten up, they found sanity, grounding, and even, occasionally, comfort and friendship.

 

Filed Under: In which I chase the wild goose of the Holy Spirit, In which I explore Living as a Christian, In which I play in the fields of Scripture Tagged With: brian mcLaren, John Piper, Prophets, the voice of God

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anita.mathias

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Oxford, England. Writer, memoirist, podcaster, blogger, Biblical meditation teacher, mum

Hi Friends, I have taped a meditation; do listen a Hi Friends, I have taped a meditation; do listen at this link: https://anitamathias.com/2025/04/08/the-kingdom-of-god-is-here-already-yet-not-yet-here-2/
It’s on the Kingdom of God, of which Christ so often spoke, which is here already—a mysterious, shimmering internal palace in which, in lightning flashes, we experience peace and joy, and yet, of course, not yet fully here. We sense the rainbowed presence of Christ in the song which pulses through creation. Christ strolls into our rooms with his wisdom and guidance, and things change. Our prayers are answered; we are healed; our hearts are strangely warmed. Sometimes.
And yet, we also experience evil within & all around us. Our own sin which can shatter our peace and the trajectory of our lives. And the sins of the world—its greed, dishonesty and environmental destruction.
But in this broken world, we still experience the glory of creation; “coincidences” which accelerate once we start praying, and shalom which envelops us like sudden sunshine. The portals into this Kingdom include repentance, gratitude, meditative breathing, and absolute surrender.
The Kingdom of God is here already. We can experience its beauty, peace and joy today through the presence of the Holy Spirit. But yet, since, in the Apostle Paul’s words, we do not struggle only “against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the unseen powers of this dark world and against the spiritual forces of evil,” its fullness still lingers…
Our daughter Zoe was ordained into the Church of E Our daughter Zoe was ordained into the Church of England in June. I have been on a social media break… but … better late than never. Enjoy!
First picture has my sister, Shalini, who kindly flew in from the US. Our lovely cousins Anthony and Sarah flank Zoe in the next picture.
The Bishop of London, Sarah Mullaly, ordained Zoe. You can see her praying that Zoe will be filled with the Holy Spirit!!
And here’s a meditation I’ve recorded, which you might enjoy. The link is also in my profile
https://anitamathias.com/2024/11/07/all-those-who-exalt-themselves-will-be-humbled-the-humble-will-be-exalted/
I have taped a meditation on Jesus statement in Ma I have taped a meditation on Jesus statement in Matthew 23, “For those who exalt themselves will be humbled, and those who humble themselves will be exalted.”
Do listen here. https://anitamathias.com/2024/11/07/all-those-who-exalt-themselves-will-be-humbled-the-humble-will-be-exalted/
Link also in bio.
And so, Jesus states a law of life. Those who broadcast their amazingness will be humbled, since God dislikes—scorns that, as much as people do.  For to trumpet our success, wealth, brilliance, giftedness or popularity is to get distracted from our life’s purpose into worthless activity. Those who love power, who are sure they know best, and who must be the best, will eventually be humbled by God and life. For their focus has shifted from loving God, doing good work, and being a blessing to their family, friends, and the world towards impressing others, being enviable, perhaps famous. These things are houses built on sand, which will crumble when hammered by the waves of old age, infirmity or adversity. 
God resists the proud, Scripture tells us—those who crave the admiration and power which is His alone. So how do we resist pride? We slow down, so that we realise (and repent) when sheer pride sparks our allergies to people, our enmities, our determination to have our own way, or our grandiose ego-driven goals, and ambitions. Once we stop chasing limelight, a great quietness steals over our lives. We no longer need the drug of continual achievement, or to share images of glittering travel, parties, prizes or friends. We just enjoy them quietly. My life is for itself & not for a spectacle, Emerson wrote. And, as Jesus advises, we quit sharp-elbowing ourselves to sit with the shiniest people, but are content to hang out with ordinary people; and then, as Jesus said, we will inevitably, eventually, be summoned higher to the sparkling conversation we craved. 
One day, every knee will bow before the gentle lamb who was slain, now seated on the throne. We will all be silent before him. Let us live gently then, our eyes on Christ, continually asking for his power, his Spirit, and his direction, moving, dancing, in the direction that we sense him move.
Link to new podcast in Bio https://anitamathias.co Link to new podcast in Bio https://anitamathias.com/2024/02/20/how-jesus-dealt-with-hostility-and-enemies/
3 days before his death, Jesus rampages through the commercialised temple, overturning the tables of moneychangers. Who gave you the authority to do these things? his outraged adversaries ask. And Jesus shows us how to answer hostile questions. Slow down. Breathe. Quick arrow prayers!
Your enemies have no power over your life that your Father has not permitted them. Ask your Father for wisdom, remembering: Questions do not need to be answered. Are these questioners worthy of the treasures of your heart? Or would that be feeding pearls to hungry pigs, who might instead devour you?
Questions can contain pitfalls, traps, nooses. Jesus directly answered just three of the 183 questions he was asked, refusing to answer some; answering others with a good question.
But how do we get the inner calm and wisdom to recognise
and sidestep entrapping questions? Long before the day of
testing, practice slow, easy breathing, and tune in to the frequency of the Father. There’s no record of Jesus running, rushing, getting stressed, or lacking peace. He never spoke on his own, he told us, without checking in with the Father. So, no foolish, ill-judged statements. Breathing in the wisdom of the Father beside and within him, he, unintimidated, traps the trappers.
Wisdom begins with training ourselves to slow down and ask
the Father for guidance. Then our calm minds, made perceptive, will help us recognise danger and trick questions, even those coated in flattery, and sidestep them or refuse to answer.
We practice tuning in to heavenly wisdom by practising–asking God questions, and then listening for his answers about the best way to do simple things…organise a home or write. Then, we build upwards, asking for wisdom in more complex things.
Listening for the voice of God before we speak, and asking for a filling of the Spirit, which Jesus calls streams of living water within us, will give us wisdom to know what to say, which, frequently, is nothing at all. It will quieten us with the silence of God, which sings through the world, through sun and stars, sky and flowers.
Especially for @ samheckt Some very imperfect pi Especially for @ samheckt 
Some very imperfect pictures of my labradoodle Merry, and golden retriever Pippi.
And since, I’m on social media, if you are the meditating type, here’s a scriptural meditation on not being afraid, while being prudent. https://anitamathias.com/2024/01/03/do-not-be-afraid-but-do-be-prudent/
A new podcast. Link in bio https://anitamathias.c A new podcast. Link in bio
https://anitamathias.com/2024/01/03/do-not-be-afraid-but-do-be-prudent/
Do Not Be Afraid, but Do Be Prudent
“Do not be afraid,” a dream-angel tells Joseph, to marry Mary, who’s pregnant, though a virgin, for in our magical, God-invaded world, the Spirit has placed God in her. Call the baby Jesus, or The Lord saves, for he will drag people free from the chokehold of their sins.
And Joseph is not afraid. And the angel was right, for a star rose, signalling a new King of the Jews. Astrologers followed it, threatening King Herod, whose chief priests recounted Micah’s 600-year-old prophecy: the Messiah would be born in Bethlehem, as Jesus had just been, while his parents from Nazareth registered for Augustus Caesar’s census of the entire Roman world. 
The Magi worshipped the baby, offering gold. And shepherds came, told by an angel of joy: that the Messiah, a saviour from all that oppresses, had just been born.
Then, suddenly, the dream-angel warned: Flee with the child to Egypt. For Herod plans to kill this baby, forever-King.
Do not be afraid, but still flee? Become a refugee? But lightning-bolt coincidences verified the angel’s first words: The magi with gold for the flight. Shepherds
telling of angels singing of coming inner peace. Joseph flees.
What’s the difference between fear and prudence? Fear is being frozen or panicked by imaginary what-ifs. It tenses our bodies; strains health, sleep and relationships; makes us stingy with ourselves & others; leads to overwork, & time wasted doing pointless things for fear of people’s opinions.
Prudence is wisdom-using our experience & spiritual discernment as we battle the demonic forces of this dark world, in Paul’s phrase.It’s fighting with divinely powerful weapons: truth, righteousness, faith, Scripture & prayer, while surrendering our thoughts to Christ. 
So let’s act prudently, wisely & bravely, silencing fear, while remaining alert to God’s guidance, delivered through inner peace or intuitions of danger and wrongness, our spiritual senses tuned to the Spirit’s “No,” his “Slow,” his “Go,” as cautious as a serpent, protected, while being as gentle as a lamb among wolves.
Link to post with podcast link in Bio or https://a Link to post with podcast link in Bio or https://anitamathias.com/2023/09/22/dont-walk-away-from-jesus-but-if-you-do-he-still-looks-at-you-and-loves-you/
Jesus came from a Kingdom of voluntary gentleness, in which
Christ, the Lion of Judah, stands at the centre of the throne in the guise of a lamb, looking as if it had been slain. No wonder his disciples struggled with his counter-cultural values. Oh, and we too!
The mother of the Apostles James and John, asks Jesus for a favour—that once He became King, her sons got the most important, prestigious seats at court, on his right and left. And the other ten, who would have liked the fame, glory, power,limelight and honour themselves are indignant and threatened.
Oh-oh, Jesus says. Who gets five talents, who gets one,
who gets great wealth and success, who doesn’t–that the
Father controls. Don’t waste your one precious and fleeting
life seeking to lord it over others or boss them around.
But, in his wry kindness, he offers the ambitious twelve
and us something better than the second or third place.
He tells us how to actually be the most important person to
others at work, in our friend group, social circle, or church:Use your talents, gifts, and energy to bless others.
And we instinctively know Jesus is right. The greatest people in our lives are the kind people who invested in us, guided us and whose wise, radiant words are engraved on our hearts.
Wanting to sit with the cleverest, most successful, most famous people is the path of restlessness and discontent. The competition is vast. But seek to see people, to listen intently, to be kind, to empathise, and doors fling wide open for you, you rare thing!
The greatest person is the one who serves, Jesus says. Serves by using the one, two, or five talents God has given us to bless others, by finding a place where our deep gladness and the world’s deep hunger meet. By writing which is a blessing, hospitality, walking with a sad friend, tidying a house.
And that is the only greatness worth having. That you yourself,your life and your work are a blessing to others. That the love and wisdom God pours into you lives in people’s hearts and minds, a blessing
https://anitamathias.com/.../dont-walk-away-from-j https://anitamathias.com/.../dont-walk-away-from-jesus.../
Sharing this podcast I recorded last week. LINK IN BIO
So Jesus makes a beautiful offer to the earnest, moral young man who came to him, seeking a spiritual life. Remarkably, the young man claims that he has kept all the commandments from his youth, including the command to love one’s neighbour as oneself, a statement Jesus does not challenge.
The challenge Jesus does offers him, however, the man cannot accept—to sell his vast possessions, give the money to the poor, and follow Jesus encumbered.
He leaves, grieving, and Jesus looks at him, loves him, and famously observes that it’s easier for a camel to squeeze through the eye of a needle than for a rich person to live in the world of wonders which is living under Christ’s kingship, guidance and protection. 
He reassures his dismayed disciples, however, that with God even the treasure-burdened can squeeze into God’s kingdom, “for with God, all things are possible.”
Following him would quite literally mean walking into a world of daily wonders, and immensely rich conversation, walking through Israel, Lebanon, Syria, and Jordan, quite impossible to do with suitcases and backpacks laden with treasure. 
For what would we reject God’s specific, internally heard whisper or directive, a micro-call? That is the idol which currently grips and possesses us. 
Not all of us have great riches, nor is money everyone’s greatest temptation—it can be success, fame, universal esteem, you name it…
But, since with God all things are possible, even those who waver in their pursuit of God can still experience him in fits and snatches, find our spirits singing on a walk or during worship in church, or find our hearts strangely warmed by Scripture, and, sometimes, even “see” Christ stand before us. 
For Christ looks at us, Christ loves us, and says, “With God, all things are possible,” even we, the flawed, entering his beautiful Kingdom.
https://anitamathias.com/2023/09/07/how-to-find-th https://anitamathias.com/2023/09/07/how-to-find-the-freedom-of-forgiveness/
How to Find the Freedom of Forgiveness
Letting go on anger and forgiving is both an emotional transaction & a decision of the will. We discover we cannot command our emotions to forgive and relinquish anger. So how do we find the space and clarity of forgiveness in our mind, spirit & emotions?
When tormenting memories surface, our cortisol, adrenaline, blood pressure, and heart rate all rise. It’s good to take a literally quick walk with Jesus, to calm this neurological and physiological storm. And then honestly name these emotions… for feelings buried alive never die.
Then, in a process called “the healing of memories,” mentally visualise the painful scene, seeing Christ himself there, his eyes brimming with compassion. Ask Christ to heal the sting, to draw the poison from these memories of experiences. We are caterpillars in a ring of fire, as Martin Luther wrote--unable to rescue ourselves. We need help from above.
Accept what happened. What happened, happened. Then, as the Apostle Paul advises, give thanks in everything, though not for everything. Give thanks because God can bring good out of the swindle and the injustice. Ask him to bring magic and beauty from the ashes.
If, like the persistent widow Jesus spoke of, you want to pray for justice--that the swindler and the abusers’ characters are revealed, so many are protected, then do so--but first, purify your own life.
And now, just forgive. Say aloud, I forgive you for … You are setting a captive free. Yourself. Come alive. Be free. 
And when memories of deep injuries arise, say: “No. No. Not going there.” Stop repeating the devastating story to yourself or anyone else. Don’t waste your time & emotional energy, nor let yourself be overwhelmed by anger at someone else’s evil actions. Don’t let the past poison today. Refuse to allow reinjury. Deliberately think instead of things noble, lovely, admirable, excellent, and praiseworthy.
So keep trying, in obedience, to forgive, to let go of your anger until you suddenly realise that you have forgiven, and can remember past events without agitation. God be with us!
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