• Facebook
  • Twitter

Dreaming Beneath the Spires

Anita Mathias's Blog on Faith and Art

  • Home
  • My Books
  • Essays
  • Contact
  • About Me

Those who wait upon the Lord will soar on wings like eagles: Guest Post from Jules of Apples of Gold

By Anita Mathias

Today’s guest post is from Jules Middleton, a mum and wife, Christian, artist, potential ordinand and blogger. Her blog Apples of Gold reflects her Christian journey in every day life.


Thank you, Jules!

Jules with her family

Those who hope in the LORD
will renew their strength.
They will soar on wings like eagles;
they will run and not grow weary,
they will walk and not be faint
. (Isaiah 40:31)
When Anita approached me about doing this post, at first I thought ‘why me?’ Amongst the amazing people who have already written, I don’t have much to offer. But then I saw the verse she had chosen: Isaiah 40:31.

This verse has been central to my life over the last year or so, in both a literal sense, as I have been coming to terms with chronic exhaustion, and a spiritual one as I find my faith dramatically renewed after years of being a bit vague about it all!

I come from a church going background. My family were, and still are involved with their local church, we did Sunday school, they rang the bells. We did church. But I’m not sure we really did faith. The result was that I got more and more confused, and in my early 30s walked away from church completely. Disillusioned, fed up, hurt. But by contrast I felt completely happy with me.

I knew who I was, where I was going, I was running my own business, and being a mum to 3 and a wife. I felt proud of who I was, what I had achieved, I had fought through some tough stuff to be where I was and I knew it was down to me and me alone. I was confident, outgoing, did not suffer fools gladly, had very high standards and I was probably a bit rude and obnoxious too.

Then our marriage began to suffer, my husband developed anxiety issues, I was stressed and working every hour God sent. Looking back, starting a business with 3 kids, one only just 2, was foolish. The pressure of having a young family is huge in a marriage and to add that into the equation was insane. But as I said, I was headstrong and I knew what I wanted. I wanted something for me, something other than being ‘just a wife and a mother’.

Then God appeared in our lives. Well, I say ‘appeared’: what happened was a builder working on our house, a committed Christian, appeared in our lives, bringing Jesus with him.

The story is a long one but, in brief, he finally helped us to understand what Jesus did. What it is really all about. All the stuff we had missed in our years in church–well, he filled in the blanks. And bang, it all fell into place.

I welcomed Jesus into my life wholeheartedly. I felt called into ministry almost instantly. I knew I had been in the wrong place. Everything I had known, had been comfortable with, been confident in, particularly about myself, just fell away. But instead of being anxious about this, I loved it. I felt the freedom of not being in control of my life (of course there have been moments…!) of trusting in a higher being, and knowing that I was loved completely. That everything I had ever done, thought or spoken in anger and hate was forgiven. It was an amazing time.

Then just two weeks later, I came down with a virus which basically never went away. Although the main symptoms went, I was left feeling tired all the time and still trying to continue running my own business. Over the next 12 months I had various blood tests and examinations; I had to scale down my work where I could, and eventually sold the business.

Throughout that time this verse from Isaiah kept me going. It may be a cliché and an obvious choice, but when I first came across it whilst reading Isaiah, it literally leapt off the page.

Whilst I never doubted God in my illness, I read that and just knew he was absolutely there, in it with me. I am a strong person by nature, or perhaps thanks to what life has thrown at me, but there have been times over the last 18 months where I have just sat on my bed and cried. Crying out to the Lord, ‘How long will this go on? Why am I not being healed?’ (despite copious prayer).

But this verse reminds me to trust in my Heavenly Father and that my strength will be renewed. It’s interesting that various translations use either: wait on, trust in, or hope in, the Lord. All of which have different meanings, but they all require patience. If I have hope for my healing, I wait for it patiently; if I trust in him, I trust patiently that he will guide me and heal me; If I wait on Him, spend time seeking Him, I will know his will for me.

And the second part of the verse just paints such an amazing picture doesn’t it? It doesn’t just say, you will be okay, God will be with you, or things will improve. No. It says everything will be fantastic! You won’t just fly, you will SOAR. And not just that, but on wings like one of the most majestic, strong and powerful birds. What a picture!

For me, that gives me hope in my illness, in my every day life, but I also think it refers to life after this earth, life in heaven with our King, when the troubles of this world will fall away. We all get weary with life, we get weary with the daily grind, we get weary with God. But in heaven, we will soar! We will run and not be weary. All we have to do is Hope, Trust and Wait on the One who knows our trials and troubles. The one who has the answer to all things. The one who is Lord.

More from my site

  • When my Family say, “Mum, say Business,” when they want to smile for the CameraWhen my Family say, “Mum, say Business,” when they want to smile for the Camera
  • In which I will be Visiting Cambodia with Tearfund in March 2014In which I will be Visiting Cambodia with Tearfund in March 2014
  • Made to Crave: Satisfying Your Deepest Desire with God, Not FoodMade to Crave: Satisfying Your Deepest Desire with God, Not Food
  • Drunk on GraceDrunk on Grace
  • Arranged Marriages and the Consequences of Small-Town InbreedingArranged Marriages and the Consequences of Small-Town Inbreeding
Share this...
Share on Facebook
Facebook
Tweet about this on Twitter
Twitter

Filed Under: In which I proudly introduce my guest posters

« Previous Post
Next Post »

Comments

  1. Red says

    September 25, 2011 at 8:52 pm

    thanks for the comments and sorry for the delay in responding – we have been away for a few days.

    thank you for the kind words, and I'm so pleased that my story has touched other people.
    @Rhoda, yes I think I still need more work on the patience front!
    @Jennifer, what a lovely comment! never been put that way before.
    @Margaret, bless you!
    @Spruce wow, how amazing, Praise God that he healed you, I can't imagine how hard it must have been going through that for 25 years. He is amazing isn't He!?
    bless you all
    redx

  2. Red says

    September 25, 2011 at 8:52 pm

    thanks for the comments and sorry for the delay in responding – we have been away for a few days.

    thank you for the kind words, and I'm so pleased that my story has touched other people.
    @Rhoda, yes I think I still need more work on the patience front!
    @Jennifer, what a lovely comment! never been put that way before.
    @Margaret, bless you!
    @Spruce wow, how amazing, Praise God that he healed you, I can't imagine how hard it must have been going through that for 25 years. He is amazing isn't He!?
    bless you all
    redx

  3. Spruce says

    September 22, 2011 at 6:04 pm

    I just wanted to say YES ! to that . As a new Christian diagnosed with leukaemia , I to hung on to that scripture and waited and waited ! I wanted to physically soar as well as spiritually. I felt so weary ,week in and week out as I had treatment for 25 years !!!!
    But HE did it ! He touched me and healed me . Isnt He lovely .I also had depression and in Psalm 23 the Good Shepherd MAKES his sheep lie down . WHY ? To restore our souls .

  4. margaretkiaora says

    September 22, 2011 at 9:13 am

    A timely post Jules, have linked to our Parish Blog so everyone can read it there too. Thanks.

  5. Jennifer in OR says

    September 21, 2011 at 7:18 pm

    How awesome that a carpenter came along and re-introduced you to The Carpenter!

  6. Rhoda says

    September 21, 2011 at 3:15 pm

    Thank you for your story – I didn't know all of it before. I love how you've focussed on patience, that is so true!

Sign Up and Get a Free eBook!

Sign up to be emailed my blog posts (one a week) and get the ebook of "Holy Ground," my account of working with Mother Teresa.

Join 642 Other Readers

Follow me on Twitter

Follow @anitamathias1

Anita Mathias: About Me

Anita Mathias

Read my blog on Facebook

My Books

Wandering Between Two Worlds: Essays on Faith and Art

Wandering Between Two Worlds - Amazon.com
Amazon.com

Amazon.co.uk

Francesco, Artist of Florence: The Man Who Gave Too Much

Francesco, Artist of Florence - Amazom.com
Amazon.com

Amazon.co.uk

The Story of Dirk Willems

The Story of Dirk Willems - Amazon.com
Amazon.com

Amazon.co.uk
Premier Digital Awards 2015 - Finalist - Blogger of the year
Runner Up Christian Media Awards 2014 - Tweeter of the year

Recent Posts

  •  On Not Wasting a Desert Experience
  • A Mind of Life and Peace in the Middle of a Global Pandemic
  • On Yoga and Following Jesus
  • Silver and Gold Linings in the Storm Clouds of Coronavirus
  • Trust: A Message of Christmas
  • Life- Changing Journaling: A Gratitude Journal, and Habit-Tracker, with Food and Exercise Logs, Time Sheets, a Bullet Journal, Goal Sheets and a Planner
  • On Loving That Which Love You Back
  • “An Autobiography in Five Chapters” and Avoiding Habitual Holes  
  • Shining Faith in Action: Dirk Willems on the Ice
  • The Story of Dirk Willems: The Man who Died to Save His Enemy

Categories

What I’m Reading

Childhood, Youth, Dependency: The Copenhagen Trilogy
Tove Ditlevsen

  The Copenhagen Trilogy  - Amazon.com
Amazon.com

Amazon.co.uk

Amazing Faith: The Authorized Biography of Bill Bright
Michael Richardson

Amazing Faith -- Bill Bright -- Amazon.com
Amazon.com

Amazon.co.uk

On Writing: A Memoir of the Craft
Stephen King

On Writing --  Amazon.com
Amazon.com

Amazon.co.uk

Acedia & me: A Marriage, Monks, and a Writer's Life
Kathleen Norris

KATHLEEN NORRIS --  Amazon.com
Amazon.com

Amazon.co.uk


Andrew Marr


A History of the World
Amazon.com
https://amzn.to/3cC2uSl

Amazon.co.uk

Opened Ground: Poems, 1966-96
Seamus Heaney


Opened Ground: Poems, 1966-96 
Amazon.com
Amazon.com

Amazon.co.uk

Archive by month

INSTAGRAM

anita.mathias

Writer, Blogger, Reader, Mum. Christian. Instaing Oxford, travel, gardens and healthy meals. Oxford English alum. Writing memoir. Lives in Oxford, UK

Images from walks around Oxford. #beauty #oxford # Images from walks around Oxford. #beauty #oxford #walking #tranquility #naturephotography #nature
So we had a lovely holiday in the Southwest. And h So we had a lovely holiday in the Southwest. And here we are at one of the world’s most famous and easily recognisable sites.
#stonehenge #travel #england #prehistoric England #family #druids
And I’ve blogged https://anitamathias.com/2020/09/13/on-not-wasting-a-desert-experience/
So, after Paul the Apostle's lightning bolt encounter with the Risen Christ on the road to Damascus, he went into the desert, he tells us...
And there, he received revelation, visions, and had divine encounters. The same Judean desert, where Jesus fasted for forty days before starting his active ministry. Where Moses encountered God. Where David turned from a shepherd to a leader and a King, and more, a man after God’s own heart.  Where Elijah in the throes of a nervous breakdown hears God in a gentle whisper. 
England, where I live, like most of the world is going through a desert experience of continuing partial lockdowns. Covid-19 spreads through human contact and social life, and so we must refrain from those great pleasures. We are invited to the desert, a harsh place where pruning can occur, and spiritual fruitfulness.
A plague like this has not been known for a hundred years... John Piper, after his cancer diagnosis, exhorted people, “Don’t Waste Your Cancer”—since this was the experience God permitted you to have, and He can bring gold from it. Pandemics and plagues are permitted (though not willed or desired) by a Sovereign God, and he can bring life-change out of them. 
Let us not waste this unwanted, unchosen pandemic, this opportunity for silence, solitude and reflection. Let’s not squander on endless Zoom calls—or on the internet, which, if not used wisely, will only raise anxiety levels. Let’s instead accept the invitation to increased silence and reflection
Let's use the extra free time that many of us have long coveted and which has now been given us by Covid-19 restrictions to seek the face of God. To seek revelation. To pray. 
And to work on those projects of our hearts which have been smothered by noise, busyness, and the tumult of people and parties. To nurture the fragile dreams still alive in our hearts. The long-deferred duty or vocation
So, we are about eight weeks into lockdown, and I So, we are about eight weeks into lockdown, and I have totally sunk into the rhythm of it, and have got quiet, very quiet, the quietest spell of time I have had as an adult.
I like it. I will find going back to the sometimes frenetic merry-go-round of my old life rather hard. Well, I doubt I will go back to it. I will prune some activities, and generally live more intentionally and mindfully.
I have started blocking internet of my phone and laptop for longer periods of time, and that has brought a lot of internal quiet and peace.
Some of the things I have enjoyed during lockdown have been my daily long walks, and gardening. Well, and reading and working on a longer piece of work.
Here are some images from my walks.
And if you missed it, a blog about maintaining peace in the middle of the storm of a global pandemic
https://anitamathias.com/2020/05/04/a-mind-of-life-and-peace/  #walking #contemplating #beauty #oxford #pandemic
A few walks in Oxford in the time of quarantine. A few walks in Oxford in the time of quarantine.  We can maintain a mind of life and peace during this period of lockdown by being mindful of our minds, and regulating them through meditation; being mindful of our bodies and keeping them happy by exercise and yoga; and being mindful of our emotions in this uncertain time, and trusting God who remains in charge. A new blog on maintaining a mind of life and peace during lockdown https://anitamathias.com/2020/05/04/a-mind-of-life-and-peace/
In the days when one could still travel, i.e. Janu In the days when one could still travel, i.e. January 2020, which seems like another life, all four of us spent 10 days in Malta. I unplugged, and logged off social media, so here are some belated iphone photos of a day in Valetta.
Today, of course, there’s a lockdown, and the country’s leader is in intensive care.
When the world is too much with us, and the news stresses us, moving one’s body, as in yoga or walking, calms the mind. I am doing some Yoga with Adriene, and again seeing the similarities between the practice of Yoga and the practice of following Christ.
https://anitamathias.com/2020/04/06/on-yoga-and-following-jesus/
#valleta #valletamalta #travel #travelgram #uncagedbird
Images from some recent walks in Oxford. I am copi Images from some recent walks in Oxford.
I am coping with lockdown by really, really enjoying my daily 4 mile walk. By savouring the peace of wild things. By trusting that God will bring good out of this. With a bit of yoga, and weights. And by working a fair amount in my garden. And reading.
How are you doing?
#oxford #oxfordinlockdown #lockdown #walk #lockdownwalks #peace #beauty #happiness #joy #thepeaceofwildthings
Images of walks in Oxford in this time of social d Images of walks in Oxford in this time of social distancing. The first two are my own garden.  And I’ve https://anitamathias.com/2020/03/28/silver-and-gold-linings-in-the-storm-clouds-of-coronavirus/ #corona #socialdistancing #silverlinings #silence #solitude #peace
Trust: A Message of Christmas He came to earth in Trust: A Message of Christmas  He came to earth in a  splash of energy
And gentleness and humility.
That homeless baby in the barn
Would be the lynchpin on which history would ever after turn
Who would have thought it?
But perhaps those attuned to God’s way of surprises would not be surprised.
He was already at the centre of all things, connecting all things. * * *
Augustus Caesar issued a decree which brought him to Bethlehem,
The oppressions of colonialism and conquest brought the Messiah exactly where he was meant to be, the place prophesied eight hundred years before his birth by the Prophet Micah.
And he was already redeeming all things. The shame of unwed motherhood; the powerlessness of poverty.
He was born among animals in a barn, animals enjoying the sweetness of life, animals he created, animals precious to him.
For he created all things, and in him all things hold together
Including stars in the sky, of which a new one heralded his birth
Drawing astronomers to him.
And drawing him to the attention of an angry King
As angelic song drew shepherds to him.
An Emperor, a King, scholars, shepherds, angels, animals, stars, an unwed mother
All things in heaven and earth connected
By a homeless baby
The still point on which the world still turns. The powerful centre. The only true power.
The One who makes connections. * * *
And there is no end to the wisdom, the crystal glints of the Message that birth brings.
To me, today, it says, “Fear not, trust me, I will make a way.” The baby lay gentle in the barn
And God arranges for new stars, angelic song, wise visitors with needed finances for his sustenance in the swiftly-coming exile, shepherds to underline the anointing and reassure his parents. “Trust me in your dilemmas,” the baby still says, “I will make a way. I will show it to you.” Happy Christmas everyone.  https://anitamathias.com/2019/12/24/trust-a-message-of-christmas/ #christmas #gemalderieberlin #trust #godwillmakeaway
Look, I’ve designed a journal. It’s an omnibus Look, I’ve designed a journal. It’s an omnibus Gratitude journal, habit tracker, food and exercise journal, bullet journal, with time sheets, goal sheets and a Planner. Everything you’d like to track.  Here’s a post about it with ISBNs https://anitamathias.com/2019/12/23/life-changing-journalling/. Check it out. I hope you and your kids like it!
Load More… Follow on Instagram

© 2021 Dreaming Beneath the Spires · All Rights Reserved. · Cookie Policy · Privacy Policy

»
«