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Those who wait upon the Lord will soar on wings like eagles: Guest Post from Jules of Apples of Gold

By Anita Mathias

Today’s guest post is from Jules Middleton, a mum and wife, Christian, artist, potential ordinand and blogger. Her blog Apples of Gold reflects her Christian journey in every day life.


Thank you, Jules!

Jules with her family

Those who hope in the LORD
will renew their strength.
They will soar on wings like eagles;
they will run and not grow weary,
they will walk and not be faint
. (Isaiah 40:31)
When Anita approached me about doing this post, at first I thought ‘why me?’ Amongst the amazing people who have already written, I don’t have much to offer. But then I saw the verse she had chosen: Isaiah 40:31.

This verse has been central to my life over the last year or so, in both a literal sense, as I have been coming to terms with chronic exhaustion, and a spiritual one as I find my faith dramatically renewed after years of being a bit vague about it all!

I come from a church going background. My family were, and still are involved with their local church, we did Sunday school, they rang the bells. We did church. But I’m not sure we really did faith. The result was that I got more and more confused, and in my early 30s walked away from church completely. Disillusioned, fed up, hurt. But by contrast I felt completely happy with me.

I knew who I was, where I was going, I was running my own business, and being a mum to 3 and a wife. I felt proud of who I was, what I had achieved, I had fought through some tough stuff to be where I was and I knew it was down to me and me alone. I was confident, outgoing, did not suffer fools gladly, had very high standards and I was probably a bit rude and obnoxious too.

Then our marriage began to suffer, my husband developed anxiety issues, I was stressed and working every hour God sent. Looking back, starting a business with 3 kids, one only just 2, was foolish. The pressure of having a young family is huge in a marriage and to add that into the equation was insane. But as I said, I was headstrong and I knew what I wanted. I wanted something for me, something other than being ‘just a wife and a mother’.

Then God appeared in our lives. Well, I say ‘appeared’: what happened was a builder working on our house, a committed Christian, appeared in our lives, bringing Jesus with him.

The story is a long one but, in brief, he finally helped us to understand what Jesus did. What it is really all about. All the stuff we had missed in our years in church–well, he filled in the blanks. And bang, it all fell into place.

I welcomed Jesus into my life wholeheartedly. I felt called into ministry almost instantly. I knew I had been in the wrong place. Everything I had known, had been comfortable with, been confident in, particularly about myself, just fell away. But instead of being anxious about this, I loved it. I felt the freedom of not being in control of my life (of course there have been moments…!) of trusting in a higher being, and knowing that I was loved completely. That everything I had ever done, thought or spoken in anger and hate was forgiven. It was an amazing time.

Then just two weeks later, I came down with a virus which basically never went away. Although the main symptoms went, I was left feeling tired all the time and still trying to continue running my own business. Over the next 12 months I had various blood tests and examinations; I had to scale down my work where I could, and eventually sold the business.

Throughout that time this verse from Isaiah kept me going. It may be a cliché and an obvious choice, but when I first came across it whilst reading Isaiah, it literally leapt off the page.

Whilst I never doubted God in my illness, I read that and just knew he was absolutely there, in it with me. I am a strong person by nature, or perhaps thanks to what life has thrown at me, but there have been times over the last 18 months where I have just sat on my bed and cried. Crying out to the Lord, ‘How long will this go on? Why am I not being healed?’ (despite copious prayer).

But this verse reminds me to trust in my Heavenly Father and that my strength will be renewed. It’s interesting that various translations use either: wait on, trust in, or hope in, the Lord. All of which have different meanings, but they all require patience. If I have hope for my healing, I wait for it patiently; if I trust in him, I trust patiently that he will guide me and heal me; If I wait on Him, spend time seeking Him, I will know his will for me.

And the second part of the verse just paints such an amazing picture doesn’t it? It doesn’t just say, you will be okay, God will be with you, or things will improve. No. It says everything will be fantastic! You won’t just fly, you will SOAR. And not just that, but on wings like one of the most majestic, strong and powerful birds. What a picture!

For me, that gives me hope in my illness, in my every day life, but I also think it refers to life after this earth, life in heaven with our King, when the troubles of this world will fall away. We all get weary with life, we get weary with the daily grind, we get weary with God. But in heaven, we will soar! We will run and not be weary. All we have to do is Hope, Trust and Wait on the One who knows our trials and troubles. The one who has the answer to all things. The one who is Lord.

More from my site

  • They that wait upon the Lord shall renew their strength: Guest Post by Dana RongioneThey that wait upon the Lord shall renew their strength: Guest Post by Dana Rongione
  • On Training to be a Vicar in the Church of England (A Guest Post by Jules Middleton)   On Training to be a Vicar in the Church of England (A Guest Post by Jules Middleton)
  • “Let His Love Open the Door:” a Guest Post by Mollie Lyon“Let His Love Open the Door:” a Guest Post by Mollie Lyon
  • In which Imaginative Literature Stirs the Heart to Conversion (A Guest Post by Holly Ordway)In which Imaginative Literature Stirs the Heart to Conversion (A Guest Post by Holly Ordway)
  • Amy Boucher Pye guest-posts on her writing process and her work in progressAmy Boucher Pye guest-posts on her writing process and her work in progress
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Comments

  1. Red says

    September 25, 2011 at 8:52 pm

    thanks for the comments and sorry for the delay in responding – we have been away for a few days.

    thank you for the kind words, and I'm so pleased that my story has touched other people.
    @Rhoda, yes I think I still need more work on the patience front!
    @Jennifer, what a lovely comment! never been put that way before.
    @Margaret, bless you!
    @Spruce wow, how amazing, Praise God that he healed you, I can't imagine how hard it must have been going through that for 25 years. He is amazing isn't He!?
    bless you all
    redx

  2. Red says

    September 25, 2011 at 8:52 pm

    thanks for the comments and sorry for the delay in responding – we have been away for a few days.

    thank you for the kind words, and I'm so pleased that my story has touched other people.
    @Rhoda, yes I think I still need more work on the patience front!
    @Jennifer, what a lovely comment! never been put that way before.
    @Margaret, bless you!
    @Spruce wow, how amazing, Praise God that he healed you, I can't imagine how hard it must have been going through that for 25 years. He is amazing isn't He!?
    bless you all
    redx

  3. Spruce says

    September 22, 2011 at 6:04 pm

    I just wanted to say YES ! to that . As a new Christian diagnosed with leukaemia , I to hung on to that scripture and waited and waited ! I wanted to physically soar as well as spiritually. I felt so weary ,week in and week out as I had treatment for 25 years !!!!
    But HE did it ! He touched me and healed me . Isnt He lovely .I also had depression and in Psalm 23 the Good Shepherd MAKES his sheep lie down . WHY ? To restore our souls .

  4. margaretkiaora says

    September 22, 2011 at 9:13 am

    A timely post Jules, have linked to our Parish Blog so everyone can read it there too. Thanks.

  5. Jennifer in OR says

    September 21, 2011 at 7:18 pm

    How awesome that a carpenter came along and re-introduced you to The Carpenter!

  6. Rhoda says

    September 21, 2011 at 3:15 pm

    Thank you for your story – I didn't know all of it before. I love how you've focussed on patience, that is so true!

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Anita Mathias: About Me

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Premier Digital Awards 2015 - Finalist - Blogger of the year
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Recent Posts

  • “An Autobiography in Five Chapters” and Avoiding Habitual Holes  
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anita.mathias

Writer, Blogger, Reader, Mum. Christian. Instaing Oxford, travel, gardens and healthy meals. Oxford English alum. Writing memoir. Lives in Oxford, UK

Instagram post 2187417055488451246_1686032450 My day: admiring a Christmas cactus that my friend Judy gave me last year, photographing winter trees from the bedroom window, lunch with Danny, coffee and food with Irene at Brown’s. Some reading, some writing, some weights, a good day.
I am trying to get back into weight-lifting. It reminds me that life is probably designed to have hard, challenging and difficult stuff to keep us strong. Muscle not used simply disappears. The body reabsorbs it! Muscle used paradoxically gets stronger and makes the tasks of our days and lives so much easier. So here’s to a spot of weights, and breathing in and out through them and life’s seasons, challenges and joys... so help us, God
Instagram post 2186714755975443652_1686032450 A sunny day in Porto and Coimbra.
Now back home, back to Yoga classes and the like.
I find if I get a spot up front near the instructor and next to someone accomplished, and follow them as bravely and gaspingly as I can, I get a thorough workout, totally break a sweat, do things I was certain I could not do, and get so much stronger in the process.
A bit like following Christ. Read what he said, take a deep breath and do it as exactly as you can, and you will slowly find yourself becoming a little bit stronger, wiser and yes, happier! My thought for the day 🙂
#porto #portugal #ilovetravel #happiness
Instagram post 2185957583540871908_1686032450 Images from our week in Porto.
Both my grandmothers, for as long as I knew them, were homebodies, spending their days in just one or two rooms.
I love travel, and excitement, and living as big and expansive life as I can.
But I too spend several hours every day in a quiet room, reading, writing, thinking, praying... And in the quiet room, one can interact the best thoughts of men and women down the ages, and more with infinity.. God, The sweet Spirit, The Lord Christ. #porto #portugal #travel #novembersun #marriage #marriedlife #beaches #portoribeira #fun
Instagram post 2180132061531496763_1686032450 Images from the Ashmolean Museum’s exhibition in Pompeii, death suddenly arriving in the middle of hectic life. Leaving in its aftermath particularly fertile volcanic soil.
When we become stuck in bitterness, when we recount the same sad story, again and again, in our own minds and to others... we forget that EVERY death has the potential for resurrection.
Have you suffered financial loss, financial injustice, completely untrue slander, deep sadness, failure? I have. Many humans have.
Give it to God. Give it to God of resurrection. Ask him to bring beauty from those sad, dead things.
The soil in the aftermath of a volcanic explosion is particularly fertile.
God can bring new life and beauty from dead things.
He calls out to sad hearts, "Come alive. Come alive!" #pompeii # Ashmolean
Instagram post 2175440736861042753_1686032450 Thoughts on avoiding the holes we habitually fall into, and BELATED images from one of my favourite active holidays https://anitamathias.com/2019/11/11/an-autobiography-in-five-chapters-and-avoiding-habitual-holes/
Instagram post 2156925313647782363_1686032450 I am inspired and moved by the story of Dirk Willems, a hero of the Reformation who lost his life to save his enemy, and have written a little book about him. 
It's on http://Amazon.co.uk  https://amzn.to/2Bk9Shl  and on http://Amazon.com  https://amzn.to/2VQOSYN 
Please do consider reading it & reviewing it. I would be immensely grateful.  Thank you!
Instagram post 2156141167803371501_1686032450 Okay, an unabashed Latergram on our first day in Iceland in Thingvellir National Park. Isn’t it dramatic.  And a short blog  https://anitamathias.com/2019/10/16/on-checking-in-before-you-fly/ #thingvellirnationalpark #iceland #travel #beauty #joy #adventure #life
Instagram post 2148813562469383835_1686032450 Family walks in assorted parks and gardens.  On my new spiritual discipline of Bible-walking, listening to and engaging with Scripture on the hoof.  https://anitamathias.com/2019/10/06/the-spiritual-practice-of-bible-walking/ #walkingandpraying #walkingwiththeword #biblewalking #walkingwiththelord
Instagram post 2134504882437551900_1686032450 I am in New York for a couple of weeks, for my niece Kristina’s wedding. We are having an amazing time, and I have taken a zillion pictures, and it is hot. So here’s a #latergram album from our trip to cool Iceland last month.  I have also blogged on experiencing deep peace in times of political turmoil.
https://anitamathias.com/2019/09/17/deep-peace-in-times-of-political-turmoil/  #iceland  #ringroad #icebergs #glaciers #glaciallagoon #beauty
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