Anita Mathias: Dreaming Beneath the Spires

Anita Mathias's Blog on Faith and Art

  • Home
  • My Books
  • Meditations
  • Essays
  • Contact
  • About Me

An Anglican or a Christian? A Church Lady or a Christian?

By Anita Mathias

 At a social media lunch last year, I met an Anglican. There were 8 of us seated around a table, but she dominated it with a constant stream of strident patter, mocking Rowan, deriding Sentamu, attacking an apparently nefarious, but certainly boring document called the Anglican Covenant, telling us about the gay lovers of various Anglican priests she knew, so many troubled priests, so many troubled parishes. And oh, so much, so very much gossip.

That the lady was an Anglican, I had no doubt.
But was she a Christian? That wasn’t immediately apparent!
* * *
Now if Jesus was reading this (which he is) he might rap me over the knuckles for my definition of a Christian. Or he might not!
When you become a Christ-follower, you begin to quieten down. It brings an interiority to your life. You begin to pray, for starters. Shut up and pray. You begin to read Scripture. Shut up and read Scripture. Someone else is now involved in directing the drama of your life, and you shut up through the day, and discern the plot he is writing in your day, your life, and carefully listen to his whispered prompts and stage directions. You become quieter.
That manic hour or two of exhausting, loud Anglican gossip about those in high places—what did this have to do with the gentle, mild, lovely Jesus or following him?
* * *
Have you ever got entangled with a church lady? You know, who will come up to you with the brightest of smiles, ask you if you are going to an event you hadn’t heard of, and when you say you are, just to be nice, you find yourself corralled into serving the coffee at it. No Out now!
Or the very worst type of church lady like one I knew in my previous Oxford church.  You know, whose life is the church. Who knows every shred of gossip about everyone, and shares it with you. Who worms out your weaknesses and vulnerabilities, which you share naively, hoping that you are so adorably special that surely she will not broadcast them. Oh but you thought wrong!! Who gets visibly excited, turned on and alive at news of who hates whom, who is upset by whom, church politics, who’s in, who’s out. Who knows everyone’s backstory, which she repeats with a patronizing air. Who’s in dire financial straits, mental health straits, marital straits, oh any old straits, oh how she worms out and shares these details with visible schadenfreude!!
That she is a churchgoer, one has no doubt. Why, it is her life!
But is she a Christian? Ah, that gives me pause. Would Jesus know her? Oh, on that great day, when all shall be revealed, we shall see. (All of us, writer and readers, no doubt will blush, at least a little!)
                   * * *
Seek Jesus first. Seek righteousness first. Hard precepts. No wonder so many lose their way and become hung up on minor issues which bolster their own sense of superiority.
I knew a Christian who became convinced that he had a ministry of deliverance, and would eject demons if people had ear-aches, a fear of swimming, a fear of flying. Demons and deliverance: that was his obsession. He even founded a small, short-lived church and ministry around deliverance.
When I lived in Williamsburg, Virginia, where homeschooling was immensely popular, I met people who were, perhaps, home-schoolers first, and Christians second. All their chatter was on the brilliance and virtue and superiority of home-schooling; it became a religion, displacing all the other quiet precepts of Jesus—love for the poor, for instance, or humility. And when it comes to moms, who—abomination!!–worked, well, charity flew out of the window!
A month or two after I recommitted my life to Jesus in 1989, I answered an ad for a Christian roommate. The woman who advertised, Barbara Magera, was the national secretary and spokewoman of Operation Rescue, the militant pro-life organization. She went to Randall Terry’s church. It was a good church, though Barbara, who became my roommate in Binghamton, New York, and many of the church members were continually in jail, for their disruptive shenanigans at the Democratic Party Convention, for instance. Of their commitment to Life and opposition to abortion, there was no doubt. And the church, Resurrection Life, was a sweet nurturing place.
But through the years, I’ve noticed pro-life activists become obsessional, consumed by hated and moral disgust of the abortion industry, become strident and self-righteous, losing some of the sweetness of Jesus.
Similarly, I have seen Christian friends become so consumed by hatred of President Obama and his policies that they will rarely speak or write of Jesus in social media, just tear down Obama. Oh they despise Obama, link after link, screed after screed—and I glance through these, and feel sad. Is their obsession with politics perhaps depriving them of the quiet places of reflection, renewal and sweetness which are found in the presence of Jesus?
* * *

So what’s going on? Following Jesus is just not easy. When he speaks rhema words to me, I cringe.

Or who is greater, the one who is at the table or the one who serves? Is it not the one who is at the table? But I am among you as one who serves.

I tell you the truth, unless a kernel of wheat falls to the ground and dies, it remains only a single seed. But if it dies, it produces many seeds.
Then Jesus said to his disciples, “If anyone would come after me, he must deny himself and take up his cross and follow me. (Mt. 16:24).
That’s tough. How much easier to just do a bit of campaigning!!
“I will not sacrifice to the Lord my God that which costs me nothing,” (2 Sam 24:24) David says. I have noticed that when Christians major on the minor, it is frequently on issues which cost them nothing. How much easier to deride Rowan, or Obama, or church ladies than quietly serve.
We tend to get strident in our areas of strength, or in areas which cost us nothing. Someone who built up an discipline of prayer and scripture will choose this topic when he’s asked to speak (as I do myself!!) but you won’t hear the same person speak about fasting, humility, or agape, if those are not his strengths.
Seek Jesus first. Seek Jesus first. That is the only way to continue a straight and joyful Pilgrim’s Progress in a world full of annoyances and distractions–Mr WorldlyWiseMan, Mr Legality, Giant Despair, the Slough of Despond, and Doubting Castle.
Jesus, hold my hand and be my guide!

Read my new memoir: Rosaries, Reading, Secrets: A Catholic Childhood in India (US) or UK.
Connect on Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/anitamathiaswriter/
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/anita.mathias/
Twitter: https://twitter.com/AnitaMathias1
My book of essays: Wandering Between Two Worlds (US) or UK

View our Privacy Policy.
Share:

Related Posts:

  • Farewell, Rowan, Great Archbishop of Canterbury!
    Farewell, Rowan, Great Archbishop of Canterbury!
  • The Disciples' PR advice: No one who wants to be a public figure acts in secret
    The Disciples' PR advice: No one who wants to be a…
  • "All may; none must; some should:" The Anglican Mantra
    "All may; none must; some should:" The Anglican Mantra
  • How Blogging Connects me to the Church's Liturgical Year
    How Blogging Connects me to the Church's Liturgical Year

Filed Under: In which I explore Living as a Christian

« Previous Post
Next Post »

Comments

  1. Anita Mathias says

    March 13, 2012 at 3:14 pm

    Thanks Kate. Lord have mercy, indeed. I, myself, have been guilty of variations of this several, several times.

    And welcome to my blog!!

  2. Kate Massey says

    March 13, 2012 at 10:51 am

    “Seek Jesus first. Seek righteousness first. Hard precepts. No wonder so many lose their way and become hung up on minor issues which bolster their own sense of superiority.”

    Love it! Describes so much of the noise in churches today. (And sadly, I'm so guilty of this too…) Lord have mercy.

Sign Up and Get a Free eBook!

Sign up to be emailed my blog posts (one a week) and get the ebook of "Holy Ground," my account of working with Mother Teresa.

Join 542 Other Readers

My Books

Rosaries, Reading, Secrets: A Catholic Childhood in India

Rosaries, Reading Secrets, B&N
USA

UK

Wandering Between Two Worlds: Essays on Faith and Art

Wandering Between Two Worlds
USA

UK

Francesco, Artist of Florence: The Man Who Gave Too Much

Francesco, Artist of Florence
US

UK

The Story of Dirk Willems

The Story of Dirk Willems
US

UK

My Latest Meditation

Anita Mathias: About Me

Anita Mathias

Read my blog on Facebook

Follow me on Twitter

Follow @anitamathias1

Recent Posts

  • The Kingdom of God is Here Already, Yet Not Yet Here
  • All Those Who Exalt Themselves Will Be Humbled & the Humble Will Be Exalted
  • Christ’s Great Golden Triad to Guide Our Actions and Decisions
  • How Jesus Dealt With Hostility and Enemies
  • Do Not Be Afraid, but Do Be Prudent
  • For Scoundrels, Scallywags, and Rascals—Christ Came
  • How to Lead an Extremely Significant Life
  • Don’t Walk Away From Jesus, but if You Do, He Still Looks at You and Loves You
  • How to Find the Freedom of Forgiveness
  • The Silver Coin in the Mouth of a Fish. Never Underestimate God!
Premier Digital Awards 2015 - Finalist - Blogger of the year
Runner Up Christian Media Awards 2014 - Tweeter of the year

Categories

What I’m Reading


Practicing the Way
John Mark Comer

Practicing the Way --  Amazon.com
Amazon.com

Amazon.co.uk

Olive Kitteridge
Elizabeth Strout

Olive Kitteridge --  Amazon.com
Amazon.com

Amazon.co.uk

The Long Loneliness:
The Autobiography of the Legendary Catholic Social Activist
Dorothy Day

The Long Loneliness --  Amazon.com
Amazon.com

Amazon.co.uk

The Ruthless Elimination of Hurry:
How to stay emotionally healthy and spiritually alive in the chaos of the modern world
John Mark Comer

The Ruthless Elimination of Hurry --  Amazon.com
Amazon.com

Amazon.co.uk

Country Girl
Edna O'Brien

Country Girl  - Amazon.com
Amazon.com

Amazon.co.uk

Archive by month

My Latest Five Podcast Meditations

INSTAGRAM

anita.mathias

My memoir: Rosaries, Reading, Secrets https://amzn.to/42xgL9t
Oxford, England. Writer, memoirist, podcaster, blogger, Biblical meditation teacher, mum

Hi Friends, I have taped a meditation; do listen a Hi Friends, I have taped a meditation; do listen at this link: https://anitamathias.com/2025/04/08/the-kingdom-of-god-is-here-already-yet-not-yet-here-2/
It’s on the Kingdom of God, of which Christ so often spoke, which is here already—a mysterious, shimmering internal palace in which, in lightning flashes, we experience peace and joy, and yet, of course, not yet fully here. We sense the rainbowed presence of Christ in the song which pulses through creation. Christ strolls into our rooms with his wisdom and guidance, and things change. Our prayers are answered; we are healed; our hearts are strangely warmed. Sometimes.
And yet, we also experience evil within & all around us. Our own sin which can shatter our peace and the trajectory of our lives. And the sins of the world—its greed, dishonesty and environmental destruction.
But in this broken world, we still experience the glory of creation; “coincidences” which accelerate once we start praying, and shalom which envelops us like sudden sunshine. The portals into this Kingdom include repentance, gratitude, meditative breathing, and absolute surrender.
The Kingdom of God is here already. We can experience its beauty, peace and joy today through the presence of the Holy Spirit. But yet, since, in the Apostle Paul’s words, we do not struggle only “against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the unseen powers of this dark world and against the spiritual forces of evil,” its fullness still lingers…
Our daughter Zoe was ordained into the Church of E Our daughter Zoe was ordained into the Church of England in June. I have been on a social media break… but … better late than never. Enjoy!
First picture has my sister, Shalini, who kindly flew in from the US. Our lovely cousins Anthony and Sarah flank Zoe in the next picture.
The Bishop of London, Sarah Mullaly, ordained Zoe. You can see her praying that Zoe will be filled with the Holy Spirit!!
And here’s a meditation I’ve recorded, which you might enjoy. The link is also in my profile
https://anitamathias.com/2024/11/07/all-those-who-exalt-themselves-will-be-humbled-the-humble-will-be-exalted/
I have taped a meditation on Jesus statement in Ma I have taped a meditation on Jesus statement in Matthew 23, “For those who exalt themselves will be humbled, and those who humble themselves will be exalted.”
Do listen here. https://anitamathias.com/2024/11/07/all-those-who-exalt-themselves-will-be-humbled-the-humble-will-be-exalted/
Link also in bio.
And so, Jesus states a law of life. Those who broadcast their amazingness will be humbled, since God dislikes—scorns that, as much as people do.  For to trumpet our success, wealth, brilliance, giftedness or popularity is to get distracted from our life’s purpose into worthless activity. Those who love power, who are sure they know best, and who must be the best, will eventually be humbled by God and life. For their focus has shifted from loving God, doing good work, and being a blessing to their family, friends, and the world towards impressing others, being enviable, perhaps famous. These things are houses built on sand, which will crumble when hammered by the waves of old age, infirmity or adversity. 
God resists the proud, Scripture tells us—those who crave the admiration and power which is His alone. So how do we resist pride? We slow down, so that we realise (and repent) when sheer pride sparks our allergies to people, our enmities, our determination to have our own way, or our grandiose ego-driven goals, and ambitions. Once we stop chasing limelight, a great quietness steals over our lives. We no longer need the drug of continual achievement, or to share images of glittering travel, parties, prizes or friends. We just enjoy them quietly. My life is for itself & not for a spectacle, Emerson wrote. And, as Jesus advises, we quit sharp-elbowing ourselves to sit with the shiniest people, but are content to hang out with ordinary people; and then, as Jesus said, we will inevitably, eventually, be summoned higher to the sparkling conversation we craved. 
One day, every knee will bow before the gentle lamb who was slain, now seated on the throne. We will all be silent before him. Let us live gently then, our eyes on Christ, continually asking for his power, his Spirit, and his direction, moving, dancing, in the direction that we sense him move.
Link to new podcast in Bio https://anitamathias.co Link to new podcast in Bio https://anitamathias.com/2024/02/20/how-jesus-dealt-with-hostility-and-enemies/
3 days before his death, Jesus rampages through the commercialised temple, overturning the tables of moneychangers. Who gave you the authority to do these things? his outraged adversaries ask. And Jesus shows us how to answer hostile questions. Slow down. Breathe. Quick arrow prayers!
Your enemies have no power over your life that your Father has not permitted them. Ask your Father for wisdom, remembering: Questions do not need to be answered. Are these questioners worthy of the treasures of your heart? Or would that be feeding pearls to hungry pigs, who might instead devour you?
Questions can contain pitfalls, traps, nooses. Jesus directly answered just three of the 183 questions he was asked, refusing to answer some; answering others with a good question.
But how do we get the inner calm and wisdom to recognise
and sidestep entrapping questions? Long before the day of
testing, practice slow, easy breathing, and tune in to the frequency of the Father. There’s no record of Jesus running, rushing, getting stressed, or lacking peace. He never spoke on his own, he told us, without checking in with the Father. So, no foolish, ill-judged statements. Breathing in the wisdom of the Father beside and within him, he, unintimidated, traps the trappers.
Wisdom begins with training ourselves to slow down and ask
the Father for guidance. Then our calm minds, made perceptive, will help us recognise danger and trick questions, even those coated in flattery, and sidestep them or refuse to answer.
We practice tuning in to heavenly wisdom by practising–asking God questions, and then listening for his answers about the best way to do simple things…organise a home or write. Then, we build upwards, asking for wisdom in more complex things.
Listening for the voice of God before we speak, and asking for a filling of the Spirit, which Jesus calls streams of living water within us, will give us wisdom to know what to say, which, frequently, is nothing at all. It will quieten us with the silence of God, which sings through the world, through sun and stars, sky and flowers.
Especially for @ samheckt Some very imperfect pi Especially for @ samheckt 
Some very imperfect pictures of my labradoodle Merry, and golden retriever Pippi.
And since, I’m on social media, if you are the meditating type, here’s a scriptural meditation on not being afraid, while being prudent. https://anitamathias.com/2024/01/03/do-not-be-afraid-but-do-be-prudent/
A new podcast. Link in bio https://anitamathias.c A new podcast. Link in bio
https://anitamathias.com/2024/01/03/do-not-be-afraid-but-do-be-prudent/
Do Not Be Afraid, but Do Be Prudent
“Do not be afraid,” a dream-angel tells Joseph, to marry Mary, who’s pregnant, though a virgin, for in our magical, God-invaded world, the Spirit has placed God in her. Call the baby Jesus, or The Lord saves, for he will drag people free from the chokehold of their sins.
And Joseph is not afraid. And the angel was right, for a star rose, signalling a new King of the Jews. Astrologers followed it, threatening King Herod, whose chief priests recounted Micah’s 600-year-old prophecy: the Messiah would be born in Bethlehem, as Jesus had just been, while his parents from Nazareth registered for Augustus Caesar’s census of the entire Roman world. 
The Magi worshipped the baby, offering gold. And shepherds came, told by an angel of joy: that the Messiah, a saviour from all that oppresses, had just been born.
Then, suddenly, the dream-angel warned: Flee with the child to Egypt. For Herod plans to kill this baby, forever-King.
Do not be afraid, but still flee? Become a refugee? But lightning-bolt coincidences verified the angel’s first words: The magi with gold for the flight. Shepherds
telling of angels singing of coming inner peace. Joseph flees.
What’s the difference between fear and prudence? Fear is being frozen or panicked by imaginary what-ifs. It tenses our bodies; strains health, sleep and relationships; makes us stingy with ourselves & others; leads to overwork, & time wasted doing pointless things for fear of people’s opinions.
Prudence is wisdom-using our experience & spiritual discernment as we battle the demonic forces of this dark world, in Paul’s phrase.It’s fighting with divinely powerful weapons: truth, righteousness, faith, Scripture & prayer, while surrendering our thoughts to Christ. 
So let’s act prudently, wisely & bravely, silencing fear, while remaining alert to God’s guidance, delivered through inner peace or intuitions of danger and wrongness, our spiritual senses tuned to the Spirit’s “No,” his “Slow,” his “Go,” as cautious as a serpent, protected, while being as gentle as a lamb among wolves.
Link to post with podcast link in Bio or https://a Link to post with podcast link in Bio or https://anitamathias.com/2023/09/22/dont-walk-away-from-jesus-but-if-you-do-he-still-looks-at-you-and-loves-you/
Jesus came from a Kingdom of voluntary gentleness, in which
Christ, the Lion of Judah, stands at the centre of the throne in the guise of a lamb, looking as if it had been slain. No wonder his disciples struggled with his counter-cultural values. Oh, and we too!
The mother of the Apostles James and John, asks Jesus for a favour—that once He became King, her sons got the most important, prestigious seats at court, on his right and left. And the other ten, who would have liked the fame, glory, power,limelight and honour themselves are indignant and threatened.
Oh-oh, Jesus says. Who gets five talents, who gets one,
who gets great wealth and success, who doesn’t–that the
Father controls. Don’t waste your one precious and fleeting
life seeking to lord it over others or boss them around.
But, in his wry kindness, he offers the ambitious twelve
and us something better than the second or third place.
He tells us how to actually be the most important person to
others at work, in our friend group, social circle, or church:Use your talents, gifts, and energy to bless others.
And we instinctively know Jesus is right. The greatest people in our lives are the kind people who invested in us, guided us and whose wise, radiant words are engraved on our hearts.
Wanting to sit with the cleverest, most successful, most famous people is the path of restlessness and discontent. The competition is vast. But seek to see people, to listen intently, to be kind, to empathise, and doors fling wide open for you, you rare thing!
The greatest person is the one who serves, Jesus says. Serves by using the one, two, or five talents God has given us to bless others, by finding a place where our deep gladness and the world’s deep hunger meet. By writing which is a blessing, hospitality, walking with a sad friend, tidying a house.
And that is the only greatness worth having. That you yourself,your life and your work are a blessing to others. That the love and wisdom God pours into you lives in people’s hearts and minds, a blessing
https://anitamathias.com/.../dont-walk-away-from-j https://anitamathias.com/.../dont-walk-away-from-jesus.../
Sharing this podcast I recorded last week. LINK IN BIO
So Jesus makes a beautiful offer to the earnest, moral young man who came to him, seeking a spiritual life. Remarkably, the young man claims that he has kept all the commandments from his youth, including the command to love one’s neighbour as oneself, a statement Jesus does not challenge.
The challenge Jesus does offers him, however, the man cannot accept—to sell his vast possessions, give the money to the poor, and follow Jesus encumbered.
He leaves, grieving, and Jesus looks at him, loves him, and famously observes that it’s easier for a camel to squeeze through the eye of a needle than for a rich person to live in the world of wonders which is living under Christ’s kingship, guidance and protection. 
He reassures his dismayed disciples, however, that with God even the treasure-burdened can squeeze into God’s kingdom, “for with God, all things are possible.”
Following him would quite literally mean walking into a world of daily wonders, and immensely rich conversation, walking through Israel, Lebanon, Syria, and Jordan, quite impossible to do with suitcases and backpacks laden with treasure. 
For what would we reject God’s specific, internally heard whisper or directive, a micro-call? That is the idol which currently grips and possesses us. 
Not all of us have great riches, nor is money everyone’s greatest temptation—it can be success, fame, universal esteem, you name it…
But, since with God all things are possible, even those who waver in their pursuit of God can still experience him in fits and snatches, find our spirits singing on a walk or during worship in church, or find our hearts strangely warmed by Scripture, and, sometimes, even “see” Christ stand before us. 
For Christ looks at us, Christ loves us, and says, “With God, all things are possible,” even we, the flawed, entering his beautiful Kingdom.
https://anitamathias.com/2023/09/07/how-to-find-th https://anitamathias.com/2023/09/07/how-to-find-the-freedom-of-forgiveness/
How to Find the Freedom of Forgiveness
Letting go on anger and forgiving is both an emotional transaction & a decision of the will. We discover we cannot command our emotions to forgive and relinquish anger. So how do we find the space and clarity of forgiveness in our mind, spirit & emotions?
When tormenting memories surface, our cortisol, adrenaline, blood pressure, and heart rate all rise. It’s good to take a literally quick walk with Jesus, to calm this neurological and physiological storm. And then honestly name these emotions… for feelings buried alive never die.
Then, in a process called “the healing of memories,” mentally visualise the painful scene, seeing Christ himself there, his eyes brimming with compassion. Ask Christ to heal the sting, to draw the poison from these memories of experiences. We are caterpillars in a ring of fire, as Martin Luther wrote--unable to rescue ourselves. We need help from above.
Accept what happened. What happened, happened. Then, as the Apostle Paul advises, give thanks in everything, though not for everything. Give thanks because God can bring good out of the swindle and the injustice. Ask him to bring magic and beauty from the ashes.
If, like the persistent widow Jesus spoke of, you want to pray for justice--that the swindler and the abusers’ characters are revealed, so many are protected, then do so--but first, purify your own life.
And now, just forgive. Say aloud, I forgive you for … You are setting a captive free. Yourself. Come alive. Be free. 
And when memories of deep injuries arise, say: “No. No. Not going there.” Stop repeating the devastating story to yourself or anyone else. Don’t waste your time & emotional energy, nor let yourself be overwhelmed by anger at someone else’s evil actions. Don’t let the past poison today. Refuse to allow reinjury. Deliberately think instead of things noble, lovely, admirable, excellent, and praiseworthy.
So keep trying, in obedience, to forgive, to let go of your anger until you suddenly realise that you have forgiven, and can remember past events without agitation. God be with us!
Follow on Instagram

© 2025 Dreaming Beneath the Spires · All Rights Reserved. · Cookie Policy · Privacy Policy

»
«