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Anita Mathias's Blog on Faith and Art

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Back! And raring to get going!

By Anita Mathias

Greetings, readers. I’ve been in an Abbey with no wi-fi and no internet for 5 days. No mobile phone signal either.

At first, I felt a bit disoriented, to be honest. We own a business: was is thriving, or were there fires? (It throve in our absence, Someone Else took over.) And when the background noise of social media is turned off–Facebook, and the relationships in it, Blogging, and all the friends and relationships that engenders, Twitter, email, and there is a great silence, it takes a while for your breathing to adjust. To enter long slow time. That’s why I need at least ten days to thoroughly unwind, to hear God’s vision, direction and correction for my life. (But given that I had that in August, I didn’t really need it so soon.)
Believe it or not, I drove to the next towns, Lynton and Lymouth to get online on the first two days. How odd! And when neither my iPad nor my 3 mobile broadband could get a good signal, actually knocked on a guesthouse, and asked to pay and use their Wifi. Yeah, chutzpah! (We do this on our travels in Europe, with great success–as we had with this most charming woman in Lynton. She refused payment, as we suspected, though we left some. The Croft Guesthouse in Lynton, Devon by the way. Beautifully furnished, warm and welcoming.)
By day 3, I thought this was nuts. I could get along just fine without the web and the web without me… And quite enjoyed our separation.
And used it to catch up with a big task which I might have put off for much longer had I the distractions of the internet.
I had been writing a big memoir of an Indian Catholic childhood, time in a boarding school with German and Irish nuns, and work with Mother Teresa off and on from 1991 to 2006. Several chapters have won prizes, including a National Endowment for the Arts Award of $20,000, a State Arts Board award of $6000 and been published in a range of places from national magazines to literary journals, sometimes at $1000 a piece! But when it came to agents and publishers in 2006, I found a famous English agent who wanted changes, and an American agent, who wanted different changes, and didn’t see how to make them, and got depressed, and founded a publishing business instead.
Well, that’s the one piece of unfinished business in my life. I do not want to die without finishing and wrapping up that book: I have poured so much thought and love and passion and beauty into it.
And so at last, I had time to sort out the pieces into chapters, the chapters into sections, and looking at it after 5.5 years, I see to my relief that is a good book. Interesting. Much of it (though not all of course) is well-written.
And so I am going to go back to revising and rewriting it with joy and confidence, without the angst that it might not find a publisher.
Because you see it WILL find a publisher. And that publisher will be me.  I know enough about marketing now to know I can find readers for my book. I will get it professionally edited, of course, but will only accept the suggestions that find an answering echo with me (something one can’t do with professional writing.)
Will it be less good because I plan to get two professional editors, and then accept or reject their suggestions using my own judgement? In some ways, perhaps, and in others, no. It will retain its uniqueness.
It might be, as Touchstone would say, “A poor thing, sir, but mine own.” And there is a great pleasure in having a piece of writing exactly as you wanted it (though as I said, I will of course take advice in what Pope called, “the last, the greatest art, the art to blot.”)
When Milton felt frustrated at the slow pace of his writing, he comforted himself by saying, “All is, if I have grace to use it so.”
Same here. So that is what I need: grace. Grace to focus, grace to prune off distractions. Grace to turn off the pleasant distractions of the internet and focus. Discipline to keep fit so I can write, and discipline to write.
I need to dwell in God’s waterfall, since by myself boiling down and condensing and shaping that massive manuscript (I don’t dare number the pages, but it’s big) in addition to continuing to run this blog may be too difficult a task for me.
In one way, it’s good to have your back against the wall, face to face with a task too great for you, to learn how to rely on grace and God’s power.
And, honestly, I know very little about this in practice 🙂
Open the floodgates of your waterfall of creativity above me, Oh Lord. Let me dwell in it!

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Comments

  1. Anita says

    November 1, 2011 at 6:42 pm

    Thanks for your encouragement, Jennifer!

  2. Jennifer in OR says

    October 31, 2011 at 4:44 am

    Look forward to reading your book; I know it will be all worth the while.

  3. Anita says

    October 30, 2011 at 5:11 pm

    Thanks, Freda:)

  4. Freda says

    October 30, 2011 at 4:26 pm

    Like you, I get a bit edgy when I am separated from the internet, but a rest is probably good for us. I love that you are writing a book. All the best.

  5. Anita says

    October 29, 2011 at 6:26 pm

    Yes. How lucky you are to live in Devon. Loved your Collie pictures!

  6. Harriet says

    October 29, 2011 at 6:42 am

    Isn't it wonderful – when you can clear a little space – God shows you the path! Good to hear that the Devon air has rejuvenated you.

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Anita Mathias: About Me

Anita Mathias

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My Books

Wandering Between Two Worlds: Essays on Faith and Art

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Francesco, Artist of Florence: The Man Who Gave Too Much

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The Story of Dirk Willems

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Premier Digital Awards 2015 - Finalist - Blogger of the year
Runner Up Christian Media Awards 2014 - Tweeter of the year

Recent Posts

  •  On Not Wasting a Desert Experience
  • A Mind of Life and Peace in the Middle of a Global Pandemic
  • On Yoga and Following Jesus
  • Silver and Gold Linings in the Storm Clouds of Coronavirus
  • Trust: A Message of Christmas
  • Life- Changing Journaling: A Gratitude Journal, and Habit-Tracker, with Food and Exercise Logs, Time Sheets, a Bullet Journal, Goal Sheets and a Planner
  • On Loving That Which Love You Back
  • “An Autobiography in Five Chapters” and Avoiding Habitual Holes  
  • Shining Faith in Action: Dirk Willems on the Ice
  • The Story of Dirk Willems: The Man who Died to Save His Enemy

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What I’m Reading

Childhood, Youth, Dependency: The Copenhagen Trilogy
Tove Ditlevsen

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Amazing Faith: The Authorized Biography of Bill Bright
Michael Richardson

Amazing Faith -- Bill Bright -- Amazon.com
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On Writing: A Memoir of the Craft
Stephen King

On Writing --  Amazon.com
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Acedia & me: A Marriage, Monks, and a Writer's Life
Kathleen Norris

KATHLEEN NORRIS --  Amazon.com
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Andrew Marr


A History of the World
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Opened Ground: Poems, 1966-96
Seamus Heaney


Opened Ground: Poems, 1966-96 
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anita.mathias

Writer, Blogger, Reader, Mum. Christian. Instaing Oxford, travel, gardens and healthy meals. Oxford English alum. Writing memoir. Lives in Oxford, UK

Images from walks around Oxford. #beauty #oxford # Images from walks around Oxford. #beauty #oxford #walking #tranquility #naturephotography #nature
So we had a lovely holiday in the Southwest. And h So we had a lovely holiday in the Southwest. And here we are at one of the world’s most famous and easily recognisable sites.
#stonehenge #travel #england #prehistoric England #family #druids
And I’ve blogged https://anitamathias.com/2020/09/13/on-not-wasting-a-desert-experience/
So, after Paul the Apostle's lightning bolt encounter with the Risen Christ on the road to Damascus, he went into the desert, he tells us...
And there, he received revelation, visions, and had divine encounters. The same Judean desert, where Jesus fasted for forty days before starting his active ministry. Where Moses encountered God. Where David turned from a shepherd to a leader and a King, and more, a man after God’s own heart.  Where Elijah in the throes of a nervous breakdown hears God in a gentle whisper. 
England, where I live, like most of the world is going through a desert experience of continuing partial lockdowns. Covid-19 spreads through human contact and social life, and so we must refrain from those great pleasures. We are invited to the desert, a harsh place where pruning can occur, and spiritual fruitfulness.
A plague like this has not been known for a hundred years... John Piper, after his cancer diagnosis, exhorted people, “Don’t Waste Your Cancer”—since this was the experience God permitted you to have, and He can bring gold from it. Pandemics and plagues are permitted (though not willed or desired) by a Sovereign God, and he can bring life-change out of them. 
Let us not waste this unwanted, unchosen pandemic, this opportunity for silence, solitude and reflection. Let’s not squander on endless Zoom calls—or on the internet, which, if not used wisely, will only raise anxiety levels. Let’s instead accept the invitation to increased silence and reflection
Let's use the extra free time that many of us have long coveted and which has now been given us by Covid-19 restrictions to seek the face of God. To seek revelation. To pray. 
And to work on those projects of our hearts which have been smothered by noise, busyness, and the tumult of people and parties. To nurture the fragile dreams still alive in our hearts. The long-deferred duty or vocation
So, we are about eight weeks into lockdown, and I So, we are about eight weeks into lockdown, and I have totally sunk into the rhythm of it, and have got quiet, very quiet, the quietest spell of time I have had as an adult.
I like it. I will find going back to the sometimes frenetic merry-go-round of my old life rather hard. Well, I doubt I will go back to it. I will prune some activities, and generally live more intentionally and mindfully.
I have started blocking internet of my phone and laptop for longer periods of time, and that has brought a lot of internal quiet and peace.
Some of the things I have enjoyed during lockdown have been my daily long walks, and gardening. Well, and reading and working on a longer piece of work.
Here are some images from my walks.
And if you missed it, a blog about maintaining peace in the middle of the storm of a global pandemic
https://anitamathias.com/2020/05/04/a-mind-of-life-and-peace/  #walking #contemplating #beauty #oxford #pandemic
A few walks in Oxford in the time of quarantine. A few walks in Oxford in the time of quarantine.  We can maintain a mind of life and peace during this period of lockdown by being mindful of our minds, and regulating them through meditation; being mindful of our bodies and keeping them happy by exercise and yoga; and being mindful of our emotions in this uncertain time, and trusting God who remains in charge. A new blog on maintaining a mind of life and peace during lockdown https://anitamathias.com/2020/05/04/a-mind-of-life-and-peace/
In the days when one could still travel, i.e. Janu In the days when one could still travel, i.e. January 2020, which seems like another life, all four of us spent 10 days in Malta. I unplugged, and logged off social media, so here are some belated iphone photos of a day in Valetta.
Today, of course, there’s a lockdown, and the country’s leader is in intensive care.
When the world is too much with us, and the news stresses us, moving one’s body, as in yoga or walking, calms the mind. I am doing some Yoga with Adriene, and again seeing the similarities between the practice of Yoga and the practice of following Christ.
https://anitamathias.com/2020/04/06/on-yoga-and-following-jesus/
#valleta #valletamalta #travel #travelgram #uncagedbird
Images from some recent walks in Oxford. I am copi Images from some recent walks in Oxford.
I am coping with lockdown by really, really enjoying my daily 4 mile walk. By savouring the peace of wild things. By trusting that God will bring good out of this. With a bit of yoga, and weights. And by working a fair amount in my garden. And reading.
How are you doing?
#oxford #oxfordinlockdown #lockdown #walk #lockdownwalks #peace #beauty #happiness #joy #thepeaceofwildthings
Images of walks in Oxford in this time of social d Images of walks in Oxford in this time of social distancing. The first two are my own garden.  And I’ve https://anitamathias.com/2020/03/28/silver-and-gold-linings-in-the-storm-clouds-of-coronavirus/ #corona #socialdistancing #silverlinings #silence #solitude #peace
Trust: A Message of Christmas He came to earth in Trust: A Message of Christmas  He came to earth in a  splash of energy
And gentleness and humility.
That homeless baby in the barn
Would be the lynchpin on which history would ever after turn
Who would have thought it?
But perhaps those attuned to God’s way of surprises would not be surprised.
He was already at the centre of all things, connecting all things. * * *
Augustus Caesar issued a decree which brought him to Bethlehem,
The oppressions of colonialism and conquest brought the Messiah exactly where he was meant to be, the place prophesied eight hundred years before his birth by the Prophet Micah.
And he was already redeeming all things. The shame of unwed motherhood; the powerlessness of poverty.
He was born among animals in a barn, animals enjoying the sweetness of life, animals he created, animals precious to him.
For he created all things, and in him all things hold together
Including stars in the sky, of which a new one heralded his birth
Drawing astronomers to him.
And drawing him to the attention of an angry King
As angelic song drew shepherds to him.
An Emperor, a King, scholars, shepherds, angels, animals, stars, an unwed mother
All things in heaven and earth connected
By a homeless baby
The still point on which the world still turns. The powerful centre. The only true power.
The One who makes connections. * * *
And there is no end to the wisdom, the crystal glints of the Message that birth brings.
To me, today, it says, “Fear not, trust me, I will make a way.” The baby lay gentle in the barn
And God arranges for new stars, angelic song, wise visitors with needed finances for his sustenance in the swiftly-coming exile, shepherds to underline the anointing and reassure his parents. “Trust me in your dilemmas,” the baby still says, “I will make a way. I will show it to you.” Happy Christmas everyone.  https://anitamathias.com/2019/12/24/trust-a-message-of-christmas/ #christmas #gemalderieberlin #trust #godwillmakeaway
Look, I’ve designed a journal. It’s an omnibus Look, I’ve designed a journal. It’s an omnibus Gratitude journal, habit tracker, food and exercise journal, bullet journal, with time sheets, goal sheets and a Planner. Everything you’d like to track.  Here’s a post about it with ISBNs https://anitamathias.com/2019/12/23/life-changing-journalling/. Check it out. I hope you and your kids like it!
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