Biblical Principles for Confrontation and Social Media. Matthew 18 | Anita Mathias: Dreaming Beneath the Spires

Rob Bell

John Piper

Matthew 18

¹⁵ “If your brother or sister sins, go and point out their fault, just between the two of you.
If they listen to you, you have won them over.
¹⁶ But if they will not listen, take one or two others along, so that ‘every matter may be established by the testimony of two or three witnesses.’
¹⁷ If they still refuse to listen, tell it to the church; and if they refuse to listen even to the church, treat them as you would a pagan or a tax collector.

Jesus here spells out the process of confrontation. The Greek for brother or sister is adelphos, fellow disciple.

First, confront the individual directly. This is not something I am good at, but it is necessary for the heart–both for your heart, because feelings repressed fester, and for your sister’s heart, because she may be quite unaware of the offence she has caused.

The individual may see what she has done and repent.

If you are blown off, try again with witnesses.

Then try in the presence of church authorities.

If they refuse to change, ignore them.

This outlines the process of confrontation when a brother or sister–someone you are in relationship with–sins against you.

It is often misused by authoritarian or insecure leaders who are criticized. I have been asked myself by a church leader about a critical blog post I wrote about a church matter which affected many people, “Why didn’t you tell me directly?” His supporters asked, “Did you follow the principles of Matthew 18?”

I did not, because he was not my brother, nor was the issue a personal one. Because an individual would have been blown off. Because the perceived “sin” wasn’t against me, but against many. Because social media is the best way for those with little power to confront those with much power. Because a blog post read by 1500 people, most of whom agreed with it, is not as easily blown off as one woman’s remonstrations.

In the Christian controversy du jour, John Piper tweeted a dismissive, offensive and angry-making comment, “Farewell, Rob Bell,” linking to a review Justin Taylor rashly wrote of a book he had not yet read!!

Some people, somewhat preposterously, said Taylor and Piper should have spoken to Bell privately. If they knew Bell, this would have been the most respectful course, of course.

Taylor today links to a commonsensical post by Kevin DeYoung on the brouhaha.

It needs to be stated again that this is not a Matthew 18 issue. Jesus said, “If your brother sins against you, go and tell him his fault, between you and him alone” (Matt. 18:15). Rob Bell has not sinned against Justin Taylor or John Piper. This is not a personal offense or an interpersonal squabble that should have been left in private. The general rule of thumb, supported by Matthew 18 and sanctified common sense, is we should not make a matter more public than it has to be. But by definition, YouTube videos and Vimeo clips and books and blogs are meant to be public. That’s the whole point. The Love Wins trailer was not a private email correspondence intercepted by the Reformed Gestapo. It was deliberately made public and can be commented on in public.

Public figures– church leaders, politicians, even authors of successful blogs– I believe, can be confronted publicly. The principles of Matthew 18 do not apply in these instances.

What do you think?

¹⁸ “Truly I tell you, whatever you bind on earth will be^[e] bound in heaven, and whatever you loose on earth will be^[f] loosed in heaven.

¹⁹ “Again, truly I tell you that if two of you on earth agree about anything they ask for, it will be done for them by my Father in heaven. ²⁰ For where two or three gather in my name, there am I with them.”

Christ’s beautiful promise of his presence to those who gather in his name.