I have reached Psalm 4 in my daily rotational Bible reading of Psalms.
And here is what stood out
“In your anger, do not sin;
When you are on your beds,
Search your hearts and be silent.”
Hmm. Not do not be angry (impossible, when you are a woman of unclean lips, living amidst a people of unclean lips), but do not sin.
How? Turn your focus away from the occasion of anger. Examine yourself. Have I ever, ever done what is making me fume, or done something like it? Why? Search your heart. Repent. Be quiet until you have perspective.
All this requires so much more self-control than venting, but it is more productive, and positive. Venting our anger is highly unlikely to change the other person (though praying for both of you might well do so). But searching our hearts, trying to understand the hidden motives and fears of our own hearts, and what makes us tick, may well produce lasting change.
It’s useful to use our annoyance with another person as a trigger to examine our own hearts, and repent. In Jesus’ metaphor, when the temptation to remove specks becomes overwhelming, first clear your own log-pile.