As humility comes before honour (Book of Proverbs), the moment of horror and despair in writing, the moment when you feel you know nothing at all, is the precursor to the flood of insight and intuition. That moment of helplessness and dread often precedes light.
You begin with confidence. You move to a place of blackness, dread, fear, chaos, and despair, and slowly, you write your way out of that place by just putting down the one thing you do know, the one clear thought you do have.
The process of planning a birthday party is a bit like writing, “I don’t know how to do it, I won’t be able to do it, I don’t want to do it, It may not be any good,” sheer despair, and then as things begin to coalesce one feels better and better, until finally one is confident.