“The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy; I have come that they may have life, and have it to the full.”
I thought of this verse the other day.
The younger sister of a particularly nasty classmate of mine at boarding school tracked me down on Facebook. She never interacted with my posts, not even liking them. However, whenever I was on, the horrid chat ping, and there she was wanting to chat, telling me news about herself and her horrid sister neither of which I had any interest in.
I probably had two of these chats, and then logged off whenever I saw her Hi, and tried to stay logged off, to prevent them (and other chats from schoolmates I barely remember).
So I suggested to her: No chats, send messages. Thinking she had nothing conceivable to message me about. I was wrong. Messages now came, twice a day, asking for advice, full of chatty details.
Finally, the reason for this stalking emerged. She hopes to get her son into Oxford Brookes. And no doubt, if a friendship had been struck up, I would be corralled to help with numerous details. Already enquiries about visas and admissions. I am neither a government nor a university. It’s amazing how many people from India ask me about admissions to Oxford. Hey, I just about got myself in!!
Relationships with all take and no give are not of God. There is something dark, and almost demonic about them, reminiscent of the thief who comes to steal and kill and destroy, vs. the Christ who comes to give life.
I thought of one relationship in which I am the taker. I will repent, and make sure I give something.
So, while it is good for the soul to have at least one relationship in which one is the giver (so a wise man who mentored me once said) in general, healthy relationships involve give and take, and one should avoid relationships in which the other wants to steal your time, attention, resources, power, influence etc.
And never ever enter a relationship with anyone else solely or mainly for what you can get.