Anita Mathias: Dreaming Beneath the Spires

Anita Mathias's Blog on Faith and Art

My Books

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My Books

 
Wandering Between Two Worlds
In these wide-ranging lyrical essays, Anita Mathias writes, in lush, lovely prose, of her naughty Catholic childhood in Jamshedpur, India; her large, eccentric family in Mangalore, a sea-coast town converted by the Portuguese in the sixteenth century; her rebellion and atheism as a teenager in her Himalayan boarding school, run by German missionary nuns, St. Mary’s Convent, Nainital; and her abrupt religious conversion after which she entered Mother Teresa’s convent in Calcutta as a novice. Later rich, elegant essays explore the dualities of her life as a writer, mother, and Christian in the United States– Domesticity and Art, Writing and Prayer, and the experience of being “an alien and stranger” as an immigrant in America, sensing the need for roots.

 

The Church That Had Too Much
(on Amazon.com, on Amazon.co.uk)

 The Church That Had Too Much was very well-intentioned.  She wanted to love God, she wanted to love people, but she was both hampered by her muchness and the abundance of her possessions, and beset by ambition, power struggles and snobbery.  Read about the surprising way The Church That Had Too Much began to resolve her problems in this deceptively simple and enchanting fable.
The Meek Shall Inherit the Earth
“Blessed are the meek, for they shall inherit the earth,” Jesus says in his most puzzling Beatitude.
Puzzling, because, if we are honest, it does not feel true to our experience.
So do the meek inherit the earth? Is this true? Or isn’t it?
In The Meek Shall Inherit the Earth, an extended meditation on the power of gentleness, Anita Mathias grapples with this mystifying Beatitude.

“The Mother of God,” William Butler Yeats

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The threefold terror of love; a fallen flare
Through the hollow of an ear;
Wings beating about the room;
The terror of all terrors that I bore
The Heavens in my womb.

Had I not found content among the shows
Every common woman knows,
Chimney corner, garden walk,
Or rocky cistern where we tread the clothes
And gather all the talk?

What is this flesh I purchased with my pains,
This fallen star my milk sustains,
This love that makes my heart’s blood stop
Or strikes a sudden chill into my bones
And bids my hair stand up?

Facebook posts from Jan 20 10

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Happy New Year everyone. I don’t know when I’ve last faced a New Year with so much hope, God-confidence & anticipation. This year, God willing, might mark a new direction for Roy, and a return to beloved old directions for me. I have now found people who can run our family publishing business efficiently, so am hoping to return to almost full-time writing (interspersed with lots of travel!!)

Jan 1

Spectacular view from my window, every tree and twig clocked in frost; crisp, white, pure fields; frozen ponds.

04 January
Roy plus I plus dog forced ourselves out on a pre-dusk walk/run. Well, to be accurate, the dog forced us out. And my running pace was slower than Roy’s brisk walk. But anyway, it was a white wonderland, every leaf and twig, crystallized loveliness, pure and recreated. And I now feel exhilarated and happy, and am so enjoying a well-earned cup of hot tea, and an exciting book, “Dreaming with God,” by Bill Johnson.
04 January
“Purge me with hyssop, and I shall be clean; wash me, and I shall be whiter than snow.Let me hear joy and gladness; let the bones that you have broken rejoice.” David, Psalm 51. Snow everywhere; the fields from my window are pure white, the willow tree outside my window is a sparkling fountain. Loveliness everywhere!!
06 January Zoe and Irene’s snow jokes. “What do you call 50 penguins in the Arctic?” Lost. Penguins live in Antarctica. “What did the snowy road say to the car?” “Fancy a spin?” Lovely to have a day at home, and catch up with chores. Zoe and Roy are unpacking the last boxes from our move from America (5 years ago!) which are still in his study!!




06 January








Snowy fields outside, and plotting our travels inside. 13 weeks more of work, and then we take off on a travel adventure over Easter. If our family were a dictatorship (how sensible, how efficient that would be!!) it would be the South of France, but the other three are campaigning for Ireland. Now, here’s a good opportunity to hone and perfect one’s rhetorical skills!!


I love to travel, and I love to travel to strange mysterious countries, with pristine, old misty towering forests; semi-abandoned wayside stone churches; remote, lonely. What country am I thinking of, Switzerland, Scotland, or somewhere I have never travelled? Albania? Slovakia? Slovenia? Russia? Denmark? Macedonia? Or the undiscovered country from whose bourne no traveller returns? The ultimate land of the heart’s desire!!

Fri at 10:54

Good morning! Ice to see you!Fri at 11:3
With Zoe’s help, we are catching up with the unpacking, and decluttering from our move from the US five years ago. Three extra snow days, a gift of time to work on and around the house. Yay! Looks like Monday is going to be a snow day too, though the school says they are going to set them homework if that is the case. A vicarious sigh for Zoe and Irene.
Fri at 15:30Massive queues in Tesco, way down the aisle. Obviously people are taking the snow forecast seriously. I have never seen such long queues even on Christmas Eve, or when hurricanes were forecast in Virginia




Inspired by “Julie and Julia,” I’ve bought Julia Child’s “Mastering the Art of French Cooking” AND t. ingredients for Caneton Poele aux Navets (duck casserole), Potee Normande Pot-au-feu (beef, pork, sausage & chicken casserole) & Poulet Poele a l’estragon (Chicken casserole w. cream and fresh tarragon).

We’ve resurrected the old table tennis table we had in the barn (living in the country, we have an old horse barn, and a garage; more potential to procrastinate getting rid of clutter). We had a fun game in our new conservatory, parents against children, and we easily won, and I showed off no end about my ping-pong prowess in school never deserting me, until I realized that whichever team Roy was on inevitably won!

Sat at 17:31

“Benson in Oxfordshire” (not far from us) recorded a low of -17.7C, just two degrees warmer than the South Pole and lower than some manufacturers recommend for freezing food!” The Guardian



Roy & I watched “Angels and Insects” a strange, but visually v. beautiful film last night. Based on A.S. Byatt’s novella “Morpho Eugenia;” v. heavily overladen with Metaphor &a Epiphany. Interesting to watch the director translate a brainy, v. literary novel to film. It was an 18, & Zoe declined to watch it with us, saying WE would blush; it was just as well! Visually lovely, rather clever, but not much heart to it.


Hoping the snow will let us get to church tomorrow. My church, St. Aldate’s, is by no means perfect, & neither am I, but it is, to use a glib, over-
used phrase, definitely “spirit-filled.” I.e. one goes there, often empty, distracted, secular in one’s thinking, and yet slowly, mysteriously, one does encounter God there; get filled again with his spirit, his love, his energy, his inspiration, his will to do good & bless.


Watched the heart-breaking, almost unbearably painful, yet v. beautiful Jean de Florette last night. Last watched it almost 20 years ago in our Marcel Pagnol phase. May watch Manon of the Spring tonight, though we have to take Zoe to church since she led an 8-10 year old Sunday School group, and so missed it. Jean de Florette is a terrible exemplar of the character-corruption of greed, and the dangers of naive trust!


Captioning my New Zealand photos. Under Mt. Cook National Park, I wrote “We had joy, we had fun; We had seasons in the sun” after the Terry Jacks song. The wicked Irene suggested instead, “We had stress, we had pain; We had seasons in the rain; And the hills were all too hard too climb!!” Which is also true in a way. Travel is an intensification of living and experience!!

Facebook posts from December 2009

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On Christmas Day in New Zealand this year, Roy will get togther with his grandmother, mother, wife and two daughters. His comment on this rendezvous–“The Meeting of the Brats.” Irene’s comment–” But Zoe isn’t a brat.” No one disputed that statement!!

02 December 2009

Roy reminded Irene to “use the potty”. Irene said, outraged, How can you say “potty” to me? I am a girl who writes poems like, “The poppies sway and flutter/ Waving their lie of happiness/ The graves are littered with flowers of love/ Bravely concealing the tears that were shed./ The larks swoop and dance/ Singing their song of sadness and peace/ In the sky, there flies a pure white dove.” Good, huh?

Roy and I have just returned for a lovely long walk in the rain (I think it’s romantic; Roy DOES NOT) in Shotover Park, an ancient Saxon hunting forest. C.S. Lewis’s house had 8 acres, now part of Shotover. We met a hearty middle-class Brit, all galoshes and good cheer, also walking her dogs. “Lovely day, isn’t it?” She said, “WE MUST BE MAD!” Mad dogs, Englishmen and Mathiases, all happily trudging in the rain.

02 December 2009

Remembering Zoe’s third Christmas, when in a fit of educational madness, I bought her ONLY BOOKS for Christmas. Her comment, ” Why Santa only brought me book presents?” Mad rush to find a Barbie doll on Christmas Day. Her other memorable comment that day, ” Mommy, did you know that if we don’t praise God, the rocks and stones will praise Him? So better we praise God.” (Praise God for books, especially!!)

02 December 2009

Bailey’s Irish Cream Haagen -Dazs Icecream for dessert today. Irene, “Why don’t we have this more often? Can we not afford it?” Roy, ” We can afford to buy it. We just can’t afford to eat it.”

In Dubai Airport on their WiFi. Mobile and laptop charging stations everywhere. Boutiques with the swankiest names. Irene was wide-eyed. We were exhausted. Everything new, gleaming and luxurious, though very crowded. Large numbers of expats are supposedly leaving because of Dubai’s over-due economic crash!!

06 December 2009

Now in Sydney Airport. The Gatwick to Christchurch, NZ flight was 40 hours with two transfers. WHAT were we thinking? Irene stayed awake for 28 hours at a stretch watching in-flight videos! Didn’t think that was possible for a 10 year old. I crashed, soundly, and am actually feeling quite refreshed and alert (I think!!)

06 December 2009

We are now in Christ Church, New Zealand. Lovely, lovely sunny day. Picked up the compact and cute camper van which is going to be home for the next 14 days. The girls are asleep; I’m on the computer. What’s new? We are somewhat jet-lagged, and in the lovely South Island of NEW ZEALAND!! Now to find some food, find a beach, and find some rest!!

We “freedom camped” ie. Camped near a field of sheep in the shadow of the snow-covered southern alps last night. In a ford transit camper van. Off to see a penguin colony in Oemuru now!

aw an adorable herd of just shorn alpacas, raised for their wool, I suppose in Timeru, South Island, New Zealand. HOT here!!

Went to Caroline Bay in Timeru and saw black and White oystercatchers with long orange curved beaks for the first time. Our family is purely happy at the ocean. Saw the cutest miniature Shetland pony pulling a carriage.

Okay, today’s best experience, hands down was visiting the blue penguin colony at Oemaru, Janet Frame’s hometown. They are indigo blue, and White chested,thus protected from aerial and undersea predators. 175 of them!

02 December 2009

I have never seen penguins in the wild before. They quack enthusiastically like noisy ducks, and scamper around in herds.nesting season now so lots of chicks. Shrimp for dinner today–just like a penguin.

08 December 2009

Woke up at dawn today to a sound much like a radio. But we were camping in a remote spot in the shadow of the snow-covered Southern Alps. Roy said it was a Tui, a bird which mimics any sound it has heard.

Yesterday: the Moeraki Boulders, massive, almost perfect spherical boulders in the ocean. Zoe & Irene precariously jumped fm. boulder to boulder, while we photographed them, laughing. Crayfish for lunch, not as good as I remembered it from our trip to NZ in 1996. Then to Kaitiki Pt, deserted, amazing. Yellow eyed penguins swam ashore at dusk: we got 30 cm. from the chicks, massive brown furry things, like puppies!!

10 December 2009

Kaitiki Point, east South Island, is a penguin, seal and sealion sanctuary. Dozens of seals, basking on the rocks, fooling around with each other, barking and fighting in their mammalian quest for friendship, love and dominance. They were perfectly camouflagued, like rocks with snouts, Irene said. it was amazing to stand still, and watch seals and penguin chicks pretending to be rocks, become seals and penguins again.They looked like rocks with whiskers!!

10 December 2009 at 00:14

Seals and penguins are amazing comical in their lolling, lolloping walk. One could become passionate after conservation after seeing, as we did, penguins stand, fierce, motionless and defenceless, “defending” their fat chicks. We also saw a lovely iridescent blue penguin, so defenceless in its burrow: a hole not far from the trail.

Spent the afternoon on “Shag Point”!! near Palmerston, watching shags (NZ cormorants) and fat, happy seals. Interesting lunch of salmon and kumara cakes, kumara being Maori introduced sweet potatoes, made into interesting chips too. Hillsides are bright with yellow broom, purple lupins, azaleas, rhodode
ndron and camellias. Very pretty! The seals hid in rocky coves, like something out of an English children’s story!

10 December 2009

Grocery shopping in a foreign country is one of our family’s down-market pleasures. Here aisles of muesli, of every conceivable description, but no granola, my standard breakfast. Had to make do with “toasted muesli” which I hope is the same thing. Lots of leechi, pawpaw, longans, coconuts, mangoes, and other tropical fruits. Eateries very cosmopolitan here, Singaporean, Malaysian, Cambodian-even more so than Oxford

10 December 2009

In Dunedin now, settled by Scots, who gave it the Gaelic name of Edinburgh (Town of Eden). Christ Church, where we arrived, was settled by students of Christ Church College, Oxford trying to found an Utopian Anglican community (it’s oddly Oxford-like!) . Oemaru is amusing–incredibly grandiose, Victorian and pseudo-English. English genes are obviously sturdy–imagine, 5 nations largely populated by English migrants!

10 December 2009

Spent the morning shopping in Dunedin–though we only infrequently shop as a leisure activity. Irene sighed with pleasure–I love this life, going from shop to shop. They were given money & sent off and zoe was mistaken for irenes mum, both were delighted!

11 December

Campervan camping on tairoa head on the otago peninsula. Saw my First Royal albatross ever–several of them actually. Majestic, magical, mystical creatures, with a wingspan of 9 feet. Amazing to watch them glide on the wings of the wind.

11 December 2009

Okay, last day on the coast, headed to the Southern Alps now. It was VERY windy& we saw several albatrosses, and sealions up close, and many yellow-eyed penguins and chicks in a tour of a penguin reserve.

12 December

The rare yellow-eyed penguins stoically stood guard over their downy, puppy-like chicks in the penguin colony we’ve just visited. The strongest force in the world is LOVE, whether in the human or animal kingdoms! On to fiordland national park now.

12 December

On our way to Milford Sound in Fiordland National Park. Bought an Nz wooly fleece in preparation. Adorable and tiny lambs frisking everywhere. Lamb dirt-cheap here. 40 million lambs& 4.5 million people!

13 December

Walked around Te Anau on the Kepler Track. Unique flora–palms, conifers, cypress and eucalyptus all on a single trail. Magical and mysterious. Saw some pretty endangered birds in a sanctuary. Have asked for peacocks and an aviary for a birthday present–more or less seriously!! Warm sunny day

14 December 2009

We went on a wildlife Cruise on Milford Sound today. AMAZING. tiny little crested penguins, new born seals, whole pods of dolphins leaping and gamboling out of the water. Absolutely spectacular vistas. Earlier this morning, we went on a hike to the Chasm, mind-blowing views into sheer gorges.

16 December 2009

We spent yesterday in an alpine wonderland, driving to Milford Sound. Hikes to Mirror Lakes,perfectly reflecting the snowy Alps, & through fields of yellow, purple andd blue Lupins. I have never seen so many lupins growing wild before, mind-blowing! Cheeky and friendly kea, parrots, in parking lots. Interesting, well-marked hikes thorugh temperate rain-forests of palm, beech, conifers, epiphytes & tree ferns (punga)

16 December 2009

Camped near a sheep farm. Woke to barking. Two lovely sheep dogs, collie dogs like our Jake, were herding sheep, surrounding them, barking, tails wagging. Never seen sheep dogs in action before. Roy said I was as proud of them as if they were mine. The shepherdess drove a tractor, and the shepherd, a young lithe Kiwi,picked up a straying sheep and effortlessly chucked it over the fence. 21st century pastoral!

t’s spring and lambing season in the mountains of NZ. Adorable tiny lambs, and even more adorable tiny deer in the many deer farms we’ve passed. It’s just-spring, so the leaves have a lovely, tender green freshness. We walked by Lake Manapouri yesterday, surrounded by snowy mountains, and are on our way to Mt. Aspiring National Park in the Southern Alps.

17 December 2009

Watched some heart-stopping bungee jumps over rapids–people bouncing upside down over a river. Crazy! Bought cherries from orchards and are now camping in Mount Cook National park in the shadow of NZ’s highest mountain

18 December 2009

Used to the strong Kiwi accents now, & whispering “What’s s/he saying?” less to Roy who lived here for 10 years. The Kiwis we’ve met so far have been friendly, charming, cheerful & good-natured (easy to be, in such a lovely country!). An alpine walk today among tiny stunted shrubs, almost like moss & large white buttercups. White & yellow attracts pollinators here , while bright colours attract them in th
e real Alps.

19 December 2009

3 hikes today in mt cook national park–one very rain-foresty, green, lush and ferny; another to views of glaciers and icebergs floating on a lake. Had enough of nature now–en route to Christ church

19 December

After 15 days of nature, Irene and I went on strike. We want interesting architecture, books,magazines,the Internet, poetry, art galleries, and Thai & indian food. On our way to Christ church for some of the above.

19 December 2009

In Auckland now, en route to Gisborne in the North Island, where Roy’s mother and grandmother, eccentrically live. It is meant to be the first place where the sun rises. We however will be back home in time to bring the New Year in.

20 December 2009

Spent hours this week walking beaches around Gisborne. Each wave brings in precious & gorgeous shells, pebbles, creatures, & deposits them wet and glittering on the sand. The sea, like the Lord “giveth, and giveth and giveth again.” His mercies are new every morning. Praying for a year of new friendships, new ideas, new creativity, new insights, new kindness, new spiritual growth. “Behold, I make all things new.”

27 December 2009

Spent this week in Gisborne, NZ, with Roy’s mum and 97 year old grandmum. The highlight for Zoe was swimming with Moko, a tame and affectionate 3 year old dolphin, who loves people, and frequents Gisborne Beach. Zoe and Roy swam right up to him, and Zoe reached out and touched his fin. A tame dolphin!! Lovely!

27 December 2009

Irene in the ocean on our last night in NZ. “I am the laughing philosopher. I have realized that most things don’t really matter.” A huge wave burst over her, getting into her hair, eyes and nose. The laughing philospher now said wryly, “Waves matter!”

27 December 2009

In Christchurch Airport. Gisborne, NZ to London is pretty much the longest possible flight, over 40 hours, and full of transfers. We stop at Wellington, North Island, Christ Church, South Island, Sydney, AU, Bangkok, Dubai and Gatwick. Phew. Enjoying it so far, but really looking forward to HOME!!

28 December 2009

n Sydney. Bought the gorgeous sweater with the aboriginal design which I successfully resisted the last time round. Oh well! Watched Julie and Julia on the flight here. LOVED it so far. Redemption by a passion. The sublimer the passion, the deeper the redemption, but most passions add bliss to life. And everywhere I go, on screeens, I see–people checking FACEBOOK!!

28 December 2009

At Gatwick airport –53 hours after we left Roy’s mum’s house. Another two hours until we are at ours! Phew! Not the sort of journey to be undertaken lightly!

29 December

Home, sweet home! Jet-lagged since I watched films all night–Julie and Julia, an inspirational tribute to the power of passion & following your bliss; and The Devil Wears Prada, snappy, snarky, with Streep in a snooty role. The familiar Faustian story of corruption by ambition turns to an improbable redemption. Streep again in the tragic, but somewhat tedious, slow-moving A Cry in the Dark. And also Prince Caspian.

30 December 2009

Ten year old Irene kissing Jake, our Collie dog on the nose. “You know, Mum, I think that by the time I get to kissing age, I will be really good at it!”

31 December 2009

Facebook posts from November 2009

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This was the first year in 12 that we did not do some trick or treating. I hate it, but the kids love it. Laughed at this true article on the differences between Halloween in the US and the UK. Lovely lunch party today in our conversatory. Just the right number for an interesting diverse conversation. Nice mix of ages and personalities. But now–lots of left-overs, alas!




01 November




Lovely sunny crisp November day. Eagles floating on the wings of the wind. Went for my first run in years, decades actually, using a 10 week beginning running programme. On Day 2. Puffed mightily, but tremendously enjoyed it. Now why did I give it up? I much prefer running to walking. Trying to become strong before our 25 day hiking/exploring trip to New Zealand next month so I don’t exasperate my energetic family!!

02 November 2009


Martin Luther on Romans, “It can never be read or pondered too much, and the more it is dealt with, the more precious it becomes, and the better it tastes.” Also true for Scripture in general. Greatly enjoying Simon Ponsonby’s School of Theology on Romans. Irene, 10, goes to a fab Girls’ cell, which ends an hour before Romans does, so she sweetly joins us and takes detailed notes, wh. she is very proud of!!

02 November 2009


Our family watched a disturbing performance of Kes at the Oxford Playhouse. A bullied boy, picked-on by classmates, teachers & family, finds a passion–the rare art of falconry. You can guess what will happen–the brother kills his beloved kestrel. We are asked at the end to believe that Billy, having found a passion, will be happier and better for it, though he lost the only love of his life. Hmm… Probably!

08 November 2009


The influx of what Roy calls “visiting dignitaries” has led to having our cleaner in twice a week! (P.S. Most of the visiting dignitaries are 10 years old & Irene’s classmates). Enjoyed my run, Week 2 of a 10 wk programme. The Iphone stopwatch I use has a lovely carillon/bell-tower sound, appropriate for Oxford, where one is never far away from the lovely sound of church bells.

09 November 2009
Somewhat extroverted week. When I don’t spend time soaking in Christ’s brilliant, startling, revolutionary perspective in the Gospels, I find I miss him with an almost physical yearning. I have started listening to the Gospels in the car in French. It makes it startlingly new and fresh. And exciting. French is such a lovely language. I love it.


Had a terrible Thai lunch at Oxford Thai on Cowley Road yesterday. Disgusting food, badly cooked and poorly presented. Guess how it it go when we were served eggrolls burnt outside and frozen inside. Serves me right for going out without checking reviews in this most writerly of cities. Came home and read a flood of bad reviews–just as I expected! Oh well, live and learn.

11 November 2009


Oxford never ceases to amuse me. A 90 year old woman at a Writers in Oxford party asks me to publish her umpteenth book, a novel. “I still go into work every day” she says. “WORK? WHERE?” Roy asks. An Oxford college! Where else but in Oxford!!

Hectic Saturday–had our friends Alan and Mary over for lunch (Zoe cooked goose–yummy!), worked a bit on our business, then went to my Uni friend Ruth’s house for a lovely party, while Zoe went to youth group. Zoe’s comment, “I wish I didn’t have cool parents!” I think, with the plethora of interesting and cool things to do at Oxford, it’s almost hard not to be cool!

15 November 2009


Be afraid, mum, be very afraid: Irene now cooks all the time. She made us take Zoe with us yesterday. “I need my peace and quiet,” declared that 10 year old! We returned to the delicious aroma of cupcakes & a kitchen with EVERY surface littered with the evidence of her cooking. It’s still like that now (though I told her to clean it up) waiting for her home-coming! Hey, I’m going to be a cool mum & play on Facebook!

16 November 2009


Watched Zoe in Creation Theatre’s performance of Noel Coward’s Private Lives, and saw Zoe in a dress for the first time since she was 9 and we moved to England from the US. There was also a powerful performance of Murder in the Cathedral, which is so beautifully written!!

16 November 2009


Roy & I will have been married for 20 years tomorrow. A November wedding? Not a shotgun one: just impulsivity & hormones. 20 years & we still love each other & are impressed with each other for doing that! We celebrated our 5th wedding anniv by having Zoe, our 10th by having Irene. Can’t keep doing that: celebrating our 20th with 2.5 weeks in the South Island of New Zealand, just us 4, & a week in the North Island!

17 November


Roy took my car to work & was late. I refuse to drive his, my old American mini-van, with a left-hand drive. So we told the girls to borrow money from the school’s reception OR friends & go out to dinner. They heard AND. Zoe said, “People at Marks & Spencer laughed at the obvious glee with which we bought piles of pringles, chocolate, marzipan & lollipops. It was so obviously going to be our dinner.” Bad girls!

20 November 2009


Lovely run today with my collie Jake bounding beside me, his tail wagging with joy. We have much to learn from dogs: joy, love, forgiveness, living in the present, revelling in movement. I love seeing dogs leap & fly over the fields near our house, just delighted to be alive. C.S. Lewis amusingly declared that while we may not have dogs in heaven (but we will!, we must!) we will at least have “the essence of dogness”

20 November 2009


We are having Zoe’s 15th birthday party tomorrow. I have lost count of how many people she has invited–and I think so has she!! Its a Saturday-Sundae party, lots of icecream and toppings. The tilers finished tiling the conservatory on our anniversary, the 18th, and now it’s all gleaming and lovely for Zoe’s party. And with a conservatory, we don’t particularly care about the weather!

20 November 2009


Decompressing after a hectic Mathias day. Irene played chess for Oxfordshire, on board 1 as the Captain. Zoe had a large number of 15 year olds over to celebrate her birthday. We had sundaes–sugar and chocolate highs, chocolate everywhere…still. We could not face the thought of cooking, but children must be fed, so resorted to our local Indian takeaway for dinner. Ooh, a high-fat day–just fruit tomorrow perhaps!

21 November 2009


Amazing George Verwer preached at our amazing Holy Spirit-filled church, St. Aldate’s. Founder of Operation Mobilization & Mercy Ships, one of the Post World War II generation of American entrepreneurial Christians (think Billy Graham, Bob Pearce etc.) still full of love & fire & passion for God, still full of joy & energy & a dynamic spiritual life. The challege: still loving your first love, both human and Divine!

22 November 2009


Our family is VERY, VERY seriously considering volunteering in HEIDI BAKER’S orphanage etc. in Mozambique this summer. Obviously, this is not a cheap vacation, nor an easy decision, and we’d like to make it before the end of next week. Anyone who has volunteered with Heidi Baker, particularly in Mozambique, PLEASE tell me your ideas, views, experiences, either here or by Facebook message or e-mail. Thank you.

25 November 2009

Facebook posts from October 2009

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“Oh, do not let us wait to be just or pitiful or demonstrative toward those we love until they or we are struck down by illness or threatened with death! Life is short and we have never too much time for gladdening the hearts of those who are traveling the dark journey with us. Oh, be swift to love, make haste to be kind!” Henri Frédéric Amiel September 27, 1821 – May 11, 1881) Swiss philosopher, poet and critic.

02 October 2009
Conservatory done on Tuesday. Yay! It’s 13 by 21 feet, so we’ve started having dinner there, and have placed armchairs around a coffee table. & some pretty plants. Our garden was seriously neglected while we had workmen & materials around, so we went out today with shears to get our garden to resemble the tidy pretty gardens of the natives a bit more! It seemed a brave & forlorn attempt today, but we will get there!

3rd October.

Went on a private tour of the Museum of the History of Science in Broad Street, Oxford, arranged for Writers in Oxford. Fascinating and weirdly beautiful stuff–brass astrolabes, armillary spheres, Lewis Caroll’s photography apparatus, Einstein’s equations. Saw the absolute CHAOS of the new Steampunk Art exhibition to open on Monday. Finishing things at the 11.99th hour is apparently an Oxford specialism!


Dr. Israel Gelfand, mathematician, who recently died, aged 96, often said, “You have to be fast only to catch fleas.” He sought to teach not only the rules of math, but also the beauty and exactness of the field.





Help! Irene has Facebook. She sent me a button to paste on my page, saying “This Mummy makes pretty babies.” Now do I accept it?–and what floodgates will it open?



After bringing up Zoe, who was remarkably resistant to peer pressure, it was a surprise to see Irene really tearful because her friends have Nintendo Wii, Ds’s, Ipods, and cameraphones, & at 10, she doesn’t!! I strongly disapprove of computer games or gadgets, but finally decided she can use her amassed savings to buy the latter two. I have just upgraded my blackberry to a Apple Iphone so lost moral superiority.


House looking remarkably clean. I regretfully parted with the lovely cheerful Brazilian sisters who did the cleaning and some housework, because their cleaning wasn’t hugely better than mine would have been (saying a lot!) Running a business has left me impatient with sloppiness! Since Sept, we have had a cheerful, conscientious Christian Zimbabawean lady do the cleaning & some housework–and the honeymoon continues!

12 October 2009
Roy & I talked last night about Jesus’ exciting statement, “Seek FIRST the Kingdom of God and its righteousness, and all the rest will be added unto you.” Like the rest of Jesus’ sayings, one can only verify the truth of this by empirical evidence, by trying it. We worked out what seeking the Kingdom of God first would look like in our lives. A question. What does the Kingdom of God mean to you? And seeking it first?

Our church has a pastor of Theology, Simon Ponsonby, whose sermons are mind and spirit expanding. His sermon last Sunday on the Glory of God was like spiritual pyrotechnics. Theology at its best. Zoe wants to study Theology at Uni. I’m glad. At it’s best, it’s grand. We are going to Simon’s Romans study in his School of Theology. Am so looking forward to it!

Going to New Zealand for 2 weeks over Christmas. Dread task of booking tickets looming up. Does anyone have airline reccos? Zoe’s flying to Greece on a Classics trip next week for 8 days. We did all those sites/sights with her when she was 11–I love Greece!–but she is now almost 15 and studying Ancient Greek and Latin, and should get far more out of it!

Okay, I am embarrassed to be as excited as Irene and Zoe about my new toy, but my new Iphone is SERIOUSLY cool–satnav, a camera, an ipod, email, a phone, voice messages, calculator, internet, weather, maps, facebook, all on a slim stylish gadget. Of course, now that the kids are home guess who’s going to discover all the potential of the Iphone first? You’re right!

Technology wars continue, chez Mathias. Roy disdains his beloved laptop, choosing to check email on MY
new sleek, dimunitive Iphone, which he calls “the Baby.” This appellation for a toy she wants infuriates Irene! Zoe has got me to, sort of, promise her one. In the moment of folly, I promised Irene one for Year 7. Roy and I will be married for 20 years next month. Guess what I’m going to get him?

Much hilarity chez Mathias. Roy, who works from home 3 days p.w., made a delicious tandoori chicken, entrusting me with taking in out while he picked up the girls. Now I did not forget the chicken. I kept thinking how good it smelled. I just forgot to taken it out. Instead of glorious saffron, it is the blackest black. And it’s not the first time I’ve burnt a roast! Now remind me why I leave the cooking to Roy and Zoe!

14 October 2009


Spent a gorgeous afternoon avec ma famille watching Le Chateau De Ma Mere by Marcel Pagnol. Roy & I watched all the Pagnol films 20 yrs ago; still love them. The girls loved it, though Irene ran away at the end. I have ordered both books in French and English. Will read them in French, turning to the English at particularly beautiful or knotty passages. Just can’t take the eternal student out of this girl!

Though I love living in the country–though somewhat of a city girl!–it has its heartbreaks. On Fri., after dusk, Roy, Zoe & I were talking each other in putting the 3 ducks in their shed. The phone rung, we forget; 30 mins later, a loud quacking. A fox had snatched a duck. We recovered her, no sign of blood, alive but limp. She was dead the next morning, probably from shock & a broken heart. Our best layer! RIP.

18 October 2009


Zoe was good in Richard III last night at the Oxford School Shakespeare Festival. There was a jazzy Midsummer Night’s Dream too. She is doing Drama for her GCSE and loves it.

18 October 2009 

Interesting if centrifugal evening. Zoe at Creation Theatre drama class, Irene went to girl’s cell, painted nails, ate pizza, & studied Ephesians. Loved it, came home & wrote haikus about God. Roy & I went to Simon Ponsonby’s School of Theology. Listened to the whole of Paul’s Letter to the Romans read out. Powerful, poetic, passionate, haunting stuff. I love it. Will be studying it for the next 16 weeks. Can’t wait!

Phew, deed’s done. Bought tickets to New Zealand for 25 days over the Christmas holidays. But the Christmas holidays aren’t 25 days? They are, if you miss the last week of school and teaching. My scholarly children will be outraged, when we break the news to them. Eeks! 2 weeks in the magical South Island which I LOVE, a week plus in the North Island. Hurray for sun!!

Lovely day in London. Lunch w. my college friend, Jane in Dulwich; shopping in Southall, an amazing place, most un-English. It could be Commercial Street in Bangalore. V. few white faces, lots of Indians hanging out, having a good time; jewellery shops, gaudy clothing shops, sweet shops, Indian fast food, restaurants, & supermarkets w. Indian fruit, veg, food & frozen food. Had yummy chicken biriyani & Diwali sweets.

24 October 2009


Quiet day. Zoe is in Greece and will be there for her 15th birthday on Wednesday. She’s on a classics trip to Athens, Delphos, Corinth, Olympia–all places we had visited with her in 2005 before she studied Latin and Greek at school.
 We had a fab lunch in Thai Orchid, in a conservatory full of palms and exotic orchids, very tropical. I love Thai food, having developed the taste late. Prefer it to Chinese now.

With Zoe in Greece and Roy at the University for his gruelling two days a week teaching, I’ve lots of hours of amusing Irene. One day went off successfully with a shopping trip, during which she got me to buy her more chocolate then I should. We swum outdoors in a pretty cold pool yesterday–but are both well, thankfully. On Friday, another swim? No, a library trip, I think. Lovely autumn weather. I love it!

27 October 2009


Having 15 people to lunch on Sunday. I was planning out menus, trying to find something delicious but non-fussy and simple, with Irene coming up with ever more exotic, sweet and high-fat suggestions. “No Irene,” I said, “this logistical challenge needs to be resolved by prayer” (the most efficient and cleverest form of thinking). “Well,” she said, “Why don’t you just discuss it with your heavenly daughter?”

31 October 2009

“Get Drunk,” by Charles Baudelaire

By

Get Drunk 

Always be drunk.
That’s it!
The great imperative!
In order not to feel
Time’s horrid fardel
bruise your shoulders,
grinding you into the earth,
Get drunk and stay that way.
On what?
On wine, poetry, virtue, whatever.
But get drunk.
And if you sometimes happen to wake up
on the porches of a palace,
in the green grass of a ditch,
in the dismal loneliness of your own room,
your drunkenness gone or disappearing,
ask the wind,
the wave,
the star,
the bird,
the clock,
ask everything that flees,
everything that groans
or rolls or sings,
everything that speaks,
ask what time it is;
and the wind,
the wave,
the star,
the bird,
the clock
will answer you:
“Time to get drunk!
Don’t be martyred slaves of Time,
Get drunk!
Stay drunk!
On wine, virtue, poetry, whatever!”