"I care very little if I am judged; indeed, I do not even judge myself"

“I care very little if I am judged; indeed, I do not even judge myself”


 I care very little if I am judged by you or by any human court; indeed, I do not even judge myself. ⁴ My conscience is clear, but that does not make me innocent. It is the Lord who judges me. ⁵ Therefore judge nothing before the appointed time; wait until the Lord comes. He will bring to light what is hidden in darkness and will expose the motives of the heart. At that time each will receive their praise from God. I Cor 4


We are listening to the New Living Bible in the car. This passage stood out from 1 Cor.4.


It would be wonderful to truly reach this spiritual level– I care very little if I am judged by you or by any human court; indeed, I do not even judge myself. ⁴ My conscience is clear, but that does not make me innocent. It is the Lord who judges me.


And when, on occasion, I do reach it, it is a place of freedom and joy. Few people are subtle enough that what they feel or think about another is entirely hidden. We generally instinctively know who likes or respects us–and who does not (though there are always awful revelations–when one suddenly loses power, position, money, one’s faculties etc.).


Being judged by another is painful–because you have been judged in a court of no appeal, and for a crime you do not know. It’s Kafkaesque territory.


What should one do when one senses the weight of not entirely favourable judgement? 


What one should always do: return to the fountain of mercy and acceptance. Cleave to him whether everyone praises you–or no one does.


And what of the painful times when our hearts condemn us (which, interestingly, does not always coincide with external praise or blame).


 ¹⁹ This is how we set our hearts at rest in his presence: If our hearts condemn us, we know that God is greater than our hearts, and he knows everything.
 1 John 4


We are not our own, we belong to Christ. So we throw ourselves on his mercy, whether we stand or fall, and whether everyone else believes we have stood–or fallen!