marriage | Anita Mathias: Dreaming Beneath the Spires

Keeping our Small Boat Afloat: Thoughts on Redemption, Giving up Regret, and my Thirty Year Marriage

Anita Mathias — Tue, 26 Mar 2019 18:48:11 +0000

Our wedding portrait, 30 years ago I love this verbally rich “worship song” from the young song-writer John Mark Macmillan He is jealous for me. Love’s like a hurricane, and I am a tree Bending beneath the weight of his wind and mercy. I don’t have time to maintain these regrets, When I think about […]

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On Not Despising Deliverance

Anita Mathias — Wed, 10 Feb 2016 20:17:48 +0000

“Do not despise prophecy,” the Apostle Paul says, somewhat surprisingly. Why would we despise it? Because we tend to suspect what we do not understand? Or because prophecy can attract fools, charlatans, the unstable, and conmen seeking to gain power over others—as well as, of course, those who can genuinely tune into God? I no […]

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Thoughts on my Twenty-Fifth Wedding Anniversary

Anita Mathias — Thu, 20 Nov 2014 21:57:40 +0000

So Roy and I have been married for 25 years. It’s customary to dispense advice on such occasions, but I have little to give. The things that have worked for us have evolved slowly. And conversely, some advice from the marriage books—“Always go to the bed at the same time,” have wasted time. * * […]

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A Beautiful Train Wreck into Grace

Anita Mathias — Thu, 27 Feb 2014 20:19:22 +0000

Sometimes, my tongue runs away with me, and I use my words to express anger and frustration rather than bestow grace and life, and those words steal life and strength rather than lavish them, And I see the red flag of Jesus at the level crossing of my heart, and am stopped dead in […]

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The Best Two Word Definition of Love

Anita Mathias — Fri, 15 Feb 2013 23:24:26 +0000

There was a prophetically poignant moment in the otherwise fairytale romance of Prince Charles and Lady Diana. Interviewer: Are you in love? Diana, instantly, “Of course.” Charles, qualifying, “Whatever in love means.” Probably every marriage goes through “Do you love each other?” “Of course.” “Whatever love means…” seasons. And then it helps to remember […]

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Where 90% of marital problems begin (according to my pastor)

Anita Mathias — Tue, 01 Nov 2011 22:28:00 +0000

About a decade ago, Roy and I presented ourselves for marital counselling with the very busy senior pastor of the mega-church we attended in Williamsburg, Virginia. He had a three session rule. He’d solved your problem in three sessions, if he could, and then decide whether to embark on extended counseling with you, or refer […]

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Only A Like Button

Anita Mathias — Fri, 12 Nov 2010 19:11:00 +0000

I was musing aloud to Roy, clarifying my thoughts through the process of talking as many extroverts do, when, suddenly, he contradicted me. What? Contradicted the truest truth. “Don’t contradict me before hearing me out, Roy,” I said crossly. “Don’t you wish I were your Facebook with only a Like Button?” he rejoined.

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The Law Simply Does not Work. In Marriage or Elsewhere. We need Grace!

Anita Mathias — Tue, 17 Aug 2010 21:44:00 +0000

In the story of Eden, God gave Adam and Eve all the trees of the garden as food. Except, except–the tree of the knowledge of good and evil. And which tree which was the most attractive to them? And irresistible? And eaten? That is the way of the law. It makes doing what you […]

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In which I discover that if you hire your spouse, you cannot so easily fire them.

Anita Mathias — Wed, 05 May 2010 22:30:00 +0000

Hot tip to all small business owners. DO NOT hire your spouse. Roy just made a really stupid, and somewhat costly, mistake, and when I told him off in no uncertain terms, just stood there, grinning happily from ear to ear, as if he had done the greatest thing in the world. ” Well then, […]

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I didn’t marry you for cleverer or stupider.

Anita Mathias — Thu, 29 Apr 2010 22:47:00 +0000

I (successfully) tried to get the lean, muscular Roy to go to the gym with me. Exasperated, he said, “Anita, I married you for better or for worse, richer or poorer. I did not say “for stupider or cleverer.” Irene listened with furrowed brows, then whispered, “Mummy, what does he mean? Who is getting […]

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