Field notes from the Land of Suffering | Anita Mathias: Dreaming Beneath the Spires

In which the Kindly Light of Christ can Heal our Worst Memories

Anita Mathias — Fri, 04 Dec 2015 23:09:17 +0000

Sometimes, in a dream, or sudden flashback, I remember something dark, frightening, shame-producing, upsetting or infuriating from my past. I guess you do too. It’s part of being human. One way to deal with uncomfortable emotions is through what Brené Brown in Daring Greatly calls numbing—surfing the internet, binge-watching TV, food, overwork, oversleeping, Facebook. Putting […]

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“In This World You Will Have Troubles.” Reflecting on the Purpose of Suffering

Anita Mathias — Mon, 05 Oct 2015 11:13:29 +0000

I went into August this year with a lingering irrational sense of dread. In 2014, I found myself unaccountably tired in August after a holiday in Helsinki, and finally went in to my GP with symptoms I had had since 2009. In September, my blood tests showed severe anaemia. In October, a colonoscopy showed colon […]

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On Cancer, Suffering, and the Cloud of Unknowing

Anita Mathias — Wed, 17 Dec 2014 18:14:01 +0000

My father once read me a terrifying Greek myth about the giant Procrustes. Everyone who visited Procrustes fit perfectly into his bed. When a guest was too tall, he cut their legs off. When they were too short, he “stretched” them till they fit. It was a one-size-fits-all bed. * * * Procrustean theology adjusts […]

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God Saw the Light was Good, but He Left Darkness Too

Anita Mathias — Wed, 15 Oct 2014 15:28:34 +0000

In the beginning… God’s first recorded words in the Bible are “Let there be light.” And there was light. And God saw that the light was good. (Genesis 1:4) But he left darkness too. And so it shall ever be. On June 21, we have 16 hours 41 minutes of light in Oxford, England. But […]

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When, For a Season, God Himself Blocks You

Anita Mathias — Thu, 02 Oct 2014 11:09:50 +0000

You intended to harm me, but God intended it for good, to save many lives,” Joseph quietly tells his brothers. (Genesis 50:20) Oh they did; they sure did, first throwing him into a disused well, then uncaringly selling him on for thirty shekels of silver to the Ishmaelites, not caring what became of him. And what […]

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The Secret History of Hagar: When God Invisibly Comforts the Oppressed

Anita Mathias — Fri, 28 Jun 2013 19:33:38 +0000

Image: Tissot, Hagar and the Angel in the Desert Hagar, Egyptian maidservant of Sarah, has a hard life. Impregnated, basically raped by Abraham, she is bullied and persecuted by a jealous Sarah—so much so that probable death in the desert feels preferable. (Genesis 16) And in the desert, the runaway slave, with only the clothes […]

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Sheridan Voysey’s “Resurrection Year”: A Book Review

Anita Mathias — Sat, 01 Jun 2013 17:26:40 +0000

On Broken Hearts, Dashed Dreams and Resurrection Years Last June, Sheridan and Merryn Voysey told us their story over dinner—ten years of infertility, IVF, and stalemated adoption (ten years which coincided with the success of Sheridan’s radio programme in Sydney) after which they settled in Oxford, seeking resurrection. I’ve enjoyed reading Sheridan’s new book Resurrection […]

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Experiencing God Through an Experience of Spiritual Abuse

Anita Mathias — Sat, 23 Jun 2012 20:16:00 +0000

Cleopas and his friend walk to Emmaus. They had hoped that Jesus was going to redeem Israel; instead he was ignominiously crucified. So they walk, their faces downcast, while all along, the risen Christ walks beside them. * * * God comes in many guises, in a bush which burns and is not consumed. Jacob marvels, “Surely […]

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The Uses of Failure

Anita Mathias — Tue, 27 Mar 2012 22:54:00 +0000

I have not failed. I’ve just found 10,000 ways that won’t work. -Thomas EdisonImage Credit Sweet are the uses of adversity,Which, like the toad, ugly and venomous,Wears yet a precious jewel in his head; Lauren Winner kindly sent me her book, Still about her divorce and mid-faith crisis. I was struck by these sentences: I simply […]

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Christian and Buddhist Solutions to the Problem of Suffering

Anita Mathias — Wed, 27 Jul 2011 10:51:00 +0000

Carl Bloch Okay, so we were somewhat early at Heathrow, breaking a bad habit of being the last people to board the plane–just when we hear “passengers Mathias, passengers Mathias.” And so I wandered through the shops; oh my goodness, what an onslaught of consumerism! Now I rarely shop. Literally, rarely enter a shop! Roy […]

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