I couldn’t help but think of it also as “positive opportunity” since mysteries, uncertainties and doubts are full of many possibilities.
Thank you, April, what a beautiful thought!

Merry Christmas too, LA. I have more or less made my no/chemo decision, just not written about it, and more or less have peace about it.
So glad you liked the post.

Thank you, Andy, that’s so sweet of you 🙂

Blessings to you on this start of the holiday season. I am praying that your chemo/no chemo decision will leave you peaceful to celebrate the holidays. Sounds like you are well on your way. This post was lovely and well-written and I loved how you wove all those seemingly disparate things together into a description of your journey. We are so shaped by our past experiences and you are astute for pinpointing so many spots where your experience has shaped your attitudes towards your health. Maybe that’s from writing on the memoir. A world of total free will is not always a happy one, but it does mean that you can choose your attitude and reactions to things. Your decisions to be positive are courageous and inspirational. I’m so glad the Archdruid read your blog and put your link on her site or I never would have found your writing. Thank you and I wish you a Merry Christmas!

I have never experienced what you are going through and considered remaining silent least that was all too obvious, but I want to tell you you matter to me.

Like David I find there are things that are too profound for me (Psalm 131) and with Job I must cover my mouth, but one thing I will share, that you have been the bringer of healing to my soul in many ways. May you receive the healing that you need as you continue to be used to bring healing.

The blue Christmas service sounds like a great idea. Incidentally, my Christmas will be merry and bright (especially once I have the preventative chemo or no chemo decision set in stone). It’s almost made. Prayers for peace re. it will be very welcome, Elizabeth!

Ah, John and that’s after all the references I took out. Being sick gave me time to think about all the books and poetry I loved–but I didn’t want to overload one blog post 🙂

I recognize the pain/difficulty/challenges of cancer, both from the patient’s point of view as well as the loved ones’. Actually, more from the loved ones’ side, since I was one of those. My father died of cancer, a long time ago. I don’t often access those sad, lonely, difficult memories. Except–now, in my prayers for you. And, in my preparations for a Blue Christmas service next Monday evening at my church. I need to be able to journey with those for whom Christmas is not merry and bright.