Thanks, LA, that is very comforting. I was more guilty about the harsh email spelling out why than the actual unfriending. He was stressing me with the daily negative hostile comments or putdowns, and judgements on my theology and politics and a general supercilious attitude towards me. I unfriended once, refriended at his request, and then, I guess both of us felt we were stuck with each other, and his upsetting and boring comments continued, sometimes several in a day.
Acc. to the Pareto Principle, 80% of the relational hassle in our lives comes from 20 % of the people, and this one guy was certainly responsible for me losing the joy and fun of exploration and sharing of ideas on FB. No, I am delighted, he’s blocked, but wish I would have done it without hurting his feelings. What you sow you reap, and all that…

Wish I had a good answer. There is something more to suffering than we realize isn’t it–that’s why Christ came as the Lamb which was slain, as the suffering servant. I too cried when I saw the pictures. There always have been the mentally ill–but never before have they had such easy access to guns!

Yes, and we are changed from glory to glory even in this life. That gives us even more hope!!

Thank you, Joy. I guess life continually throws us new challenges. I simply didn’t know what to do in this occasion, as the person had been a friend, but suddenly, after they visited us from the US this summer, there was a slew of put-downs, contradictions of everything I shared, and more sinister, libellous anonymous comments on my blog which I tracked down by means of the IP address (thanks, WordPress). I guess I shouldn’t have reinstated them at their request. I guess we live and learn how to deal with challenges without sin!!

A love freely given is far greater than a love coerced. And with the freedom to love or not to love…out of that comes the anger and violence towards our fellow travelers on planet Earth. Could God force us to love and worship Him? I absolutely believe that He can since He can do all things. But He has chosen a path of choices where each and every day we must either choose to be with Him or against Him. In giving us this choice, we open ourselves up to those who choose against God. Yet, I believe His hand is on the hearts of everyone affected by all tragedies all across the world and that our lives in His presence after we pass this Earthly life will be glorious. Take heart, Klaudia, that God is with us in our sorrow and frustration over this incident. My heart is also heavy with grief over this senseless act of violence. 6 and 7 year old kids, beloved principals and teachers – I just want to scream with anguish!!

As for forgiveness and your judgement of your frenemy, I have a few things to say. First of all, when you or anyone else I know “unfriends” someone (and that phrase is not just describing the recent development of facebook, but people have unfriended people for as long as the human race has been around) because of a friction between them, I remind them that Jesus didn’t like everyone either. I get frustrated with this constant message given from kindergarten onward that we have to be everyone’s friend. That message is bound for failure. Yes, Jesus was open about his friends, taking in folks that society had marginalized, but he wasn’t friends with everyone. Loving everyone, showing respect for all humankind – those were hallmarks of his teaching, but there was room for a healthy “I choose not to spend time with you”.

The second thing is that it’s ok to get angry and make a break with other people. We’re taught, in our western culture, that anger is antithetical to love. I think the ability to love someone one is angry with is the stuff of high holiness. But we’re taught that forgiveness means we forget about the hurt they’ve caused and reset the relationship. This is how people (and many times women) get into abusive and co-dependent relationships. We are taught that forgiveness requires us to be put into a position of being re-injured. There’s a great book on the subject, the exact name escapes me, but it’s something like “Saying ‘No’ In Love” – written in a Christian context with Biblical passages as a foundation for the work – but it’s a crucial read for anyone trying to leave an abusive and/or co-dependent situation.

I don’t recall Jesus “cooling off” after he tossed the money changers out of the temple and asking them to come back…that he’d lost his head and that he was really sorry he threw all their money everywhere. However, I don’t see any indication that he loved any of those people any less…I think he loved them right through his anger as he was tossing them out on their ears for what they had turned the temple into.