Comments on: Experiencing God Through an Experience of Spiritual Abuse

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[…] I was blocked in another group I did lead, thank goodness, thank goodness, and soon left that church which seemed to be as much about contending for status, position and importance as about following Jesus Christ. […]

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Thu, 24 Jan 2013 22:06:19 +0000

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By: Most Read Posts in 2012 on Dreaming Beneath the Spires | Dreaming Beneath the Spires

Sun, 30 Dec 2012 00:06:54 +0000

[…] A Experiencing God through an Experience of Spiritual Abuse […]

By: Anita Mathias

Anita Mathias — Sun, 24 Jun 2012 12:39:35 +0000

Thanks so much, LA. The strange thing about experiencing spiritual abuse (which I should have defined as people using their spiritual position over you, and spiritual language to manipulate you, or tear you down) is that, as with any form of abuse, you feel shame and humilation. And so you are likely be to silent. These things happened in Spring 2008, and here I am telling the story 4 years later.

You are exactly right. You tell it in public, and its "history" in many senses. Over, done with, and perhaps with the grace of God, dealt with, even "dead."

Yes, indeed, these things happen when we are not dwelling in the waterfall of God's power, but are burnt out. I have led groups again in another church, always co-leading, and have learnt in cases of conflict and difference of opinion to defer to my co-leader. Most of these things are not that big a deal, and I, personally, can grow as a Christian more by deferring than by getting my own way!!

Louise, you are so right. Jesus said, "What is highly valued in men's eyes is detestable to God," and that goes for the shameful and devious behaviour that church status-seeking can lead us into!

By: LA

LA — Sun, 24 Jun 2012 12:14:10 +0000

Also Anita, thank you for sharing this story!! Silence is what gives these events power over you, telling them takes their power away. It shines a light on these behaviors and evil doesn't like the light on it, it prefers the dark corners of the “secret” so it can work its bad juju on you. I'm very glad you shared this, and there will be people who read this entry who need to hear you say it openly for their own healing to occur (because they've faced a similar situation). Amen to you for giving that gift of healing to others! The real testament to your faith and love of God is you recognized the unhealthy behavior and properly ascribed the issue to the behavior of a few rather than getting disgusted and turning your back on God, which sadly, this behavior in churches often leads to.

By: LA

LA — Sun, 24 Jun 2012 12:06:15 +0000

For me, the Road to Emmaus reminds me not to get too wrapped up in the journey and get burnt out. My friend is, as she describes it, at a truck stop in her spiritual journey. She's not currently attending anywhere, but is refueling and getting some grub before rejoining God's highway. I find that this kind of behavior that you describe tends to show up in my life when I'm starting to get burnt out and I haven't refueled in a long time…my friend got off the “highway” for much of the same reasons. But, she said that there are many equally good spiritual paths leading away from her self-imposed hiatus, she's discerning which one is best for her. And in the meantime, she tells me that she's been supping with Jesus just like the folks on their way to Emmaus.

By: Louise

Louise — Sun, 24 Jun 2012 09:51:33 +0000

Hello Anita, I always enjoy reading your posts :o)… I htink I've come to the conclusion that the only status that matters is the status you hold with God…

By: Anita Mathias

Anita Mathias — Sun, 24 Jun 2012 09:48:07 +0000

Thanks so much, and welcome to my blog Believers' Brain, and Anons.

I was torn about whether to write this. For one, it was a humiliating experience!! and a dark one, for me.

But I found I was referring to this episode obliquely through several blog posts, and I decided it may be best to tell it once and for all, do my best to forgive, and then move on.

Non-pharmacological therapy is interestingly called "talk-therapy." I guess this is my version of "write-therapy."

Thanks much for reading and commenting!

By: Anonymous

Anonymous — Sun, 24 Jun 2012 08:54:09 +0000

I'm sorry you had a bad experience. I understand about 'deserts - walked through a couple myself.

By the way, I am a vicar's wife and I make no apology for the individual you encountered, she will be the one to explain before the Throne.

I'm glad you found healing through your blog I look forward to reading them.

By: Miss Mollie

Miss Mollie — Sun, 24 Jun 2012 00:50:00 +0000

I, too, have quit jockeying for position in church. I am happy to lift up the name of Jesus, not promote myself in our church. My Bible study is family and friend, I'm content with that. I never had the abuse you are talking about, but I know there are always those who cozy up to the main pastor and his wife, the inner circle. I have seen it all my life. I follow Jesus. I stay in church because it is His body and we are not to forsake the assembling together. I pray for the church and for my attitude often.