I went into August this year with a lingering irrational sense of dread. In 2014, I found myself unaccountably tired in August after a holiday in Helsinki, and finally went in to my GP with symptoms I had had since 2009. In September, my blood tests showed severe anaemia. In October, a colonoscopy showed colon cancer. On November 25th, I had surgery for it.
Trouble snowballed during that period. Our business was down by a third. Oops! Our beloved collie Jake developed cancer, and died on October 11. A friend said it was as if he had taken my cancer on himself! We lost our cleaner of five years on whom we had so depended. And, of course, my blog declined month by month as I had little energy to blog!
After surgery, after prayer, I felt that the way of the Spirit for me was not the recommended chemo. I declined it. The biggest risk of my life, a life-or-death one!
* * *
Then this year, everything uncannily turned around. The business is up, both month on month, and compared to this month last year. It’s the same with my blog– (though blogging is something I do because I love it, and because it is a calling). My strength is increasing, month by month. My six month test results were clear. We found new cleaners, a Brazilian couple, cheaper and quicker than the Polish cleaner we lost. We have an adorable labradoodle, Merry.
I look back on last year and think, “Oh my goodness, what was that about? That almost Job-like onslaught of trouble?”
* * *
“When sorrows come, they come not single spies, but in battalions,” Hamlet.
God suddenly arranges for us to deal with battalions of troubles–and goodness, we are so much stronger for all the muscle we’ve gained in the battle; the coping and transcending strategies we’ve learned; the hard-wrested wisdom; the insight into the human heart, and into ourselves.
* * *
Roger Bannister’s training to break the four minute mile included fell running.
You run on fells, Britain’s moor-covered hills, panting, pushing yourself to exhaustion.
And then when you run on a smooth track at four minutes a mile, you feel as if you barely are moving. You settle into deep relaxation. Time is suspended.
Bannister describes breaking the four minute mile, “I slipped in effortlessly. My legs seemed to meet no resistance, as if propelled by some unknown force. We seemed to be going so slowly! I was relaxing so much that my mind seemed almost detached from my body. There was no feeling of strain.”
* * *
“In this world, you will have troubles,” Jesus said. Everyone.
Though, of course, we don’t all bear exactly the same weight of troubles. For the woman in Africa or Asia, struggling to keep her children alive without much security, food or proximity to water, life is hassle, with sudden silver linings of joy in the full moon or sunset, the smile of a child, a filling meal, sleep at night. For the most privileged woman in this country, the Queen, with her baker’s dozen of Royal Residences, and retinue of employees and corgis, life is privilege, with hassle as a dark moon sliver–state dinners at a time other people choose, at which she eats food other people choose, and talks to guests other people choose, an ironic prisoner of privilege.
While being organised and disciplined minimises self-inflicted hassles, they are inevitable—relational tension if you live with other people, and hassles caused by other people’s greed or incompetence: marketing calls, receiving stuff not as advertised, returning it, hassles over the refund, ugh.
* * *
All the hustle and hassle builds muscle, builds character, builds endurance; we run on the fells, so to speak, on the beaches, on the mountains. The difficult thing we dreaded, trouble, challenge, hassle, boredom, being way out of our comfort zone, now feels normal, like running a four minute mile on a smooth track felt almost effortless for Roger Bannister who trained on fells and mountains.
The troubles of life ironically equip us for doing the work we are called to do without being crushed by its hassles. It equips us to fulfil the dream God has placed in our hearts.
Pinpricks of hassle are inoculations, vaccinations, preparation. The small and daily troubles of life prepare us to stand in the time of real troubles, the troubles that Jesus tells us are inextricable from living, the troubles that are inextricable from chasing our dream.
In that day of big trouble, we will stand strong, we will endure triumphantly, we who have so often inoculated ourselves by enduring small trials, small sufferings, small disciplines… And what’s more, we will be able to be a blessing to others.
Tweetables
Reflecting on God’s purpose when we endure the battalions of troubles Jesus promised us. NEW from @anitamathias1
Hassles are like vaccinations, helping us to stand strong, and endure life’s inevitable troubles. NEW from @anitamathias1
Enduring hardship cheerfully gives us the grit to fulfil the dream God has placed in our hearts NEW from @anitamathias1
Read my new memoir: Rosaries, Reading, Secrets: A Catholic Childhood in India (US) or UK.
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David C Brown says
Hebrews 12:11: “But no chastening at the time seems to be [matter] of joy, but of grief; but afterwards yields [the] peaceful fruit of righteousness to those exercised by it” helps; discipline is the evidence of sonship.
Gail Daniels says
Hi Anita, Your blog today reminded me of a quote by Alan Redpath, which was passed on in a talk by Maureen, the widow of the church organist who was murdered on his way to play for the evening service on Christmas Eve. Such an inspiring lady. Here is the quote:-
“There is nothing; no circumstance, no trouble, no testing; that can ever touch me until, first of all, it has gone past God and past Christ, right through to me. If it has come that far, it has come with a great purpose, which I may not understand at the moment, but as I refuse to become panicky, as I lift up my eyes to him and accept it as coming from the throne of God for some great purpose of blessing to my own heart, no sorrow will ever disturb me, no trial will ever disarm me, no circumstance will cause me to fret, for I shall rest in the joy of what my Lord is.”
I found this so encouraging and am delighted to pass it on for anyone else’s use.
I also like listening to the song “Blessings” by Laura Story – which asks “what if Your blessings come through raindrops, what if your healing comes through tears, what if a thousand sleepless nights are what it takes to know You’re near, What if the trials of this life are Your mercies in disguise…?”
Beautiful song . Thank you again for your blogs. Gail
Lynda Alsford says
Fantastic quote, Gail. Inspirational. Although I don’t know Maureen personally, I am like her a Church Army evangelist and we, as an organisation are very proud to be associated with someone who is such an amazing woman of faith.
Anita Mathias says
I love that song! Someone had shared the Redpath quote with me when i had cancer last year. How lovely to read it again! Thanks Gail!
Lynda Alsford says
Fantastic passage, Anita. Thank you for writing this. This is just what God has been teaching me this summer. I have had a lot of things all go wrong at once and he has been helping me to increase my levels of Endurance to prepare me for what he is going to have me do in the future. I was just beginning to be aware that this is what was happening and then I read this post.
I especially liked the following quote “The troubles of life ironically equip us for doing the work we are called to do without being crushed by its hassles. It equips us to fulfil the dream God has placed in our hearts.”
Anita Mathias says
Hi Lynda, so sorry to hear of the troubles of this summer. It’s true, they definitely develop character and toughen us. The American Bible teacher Beth Moore used to say that the purpose of troubles is to strengthen us for more troubles, and I was unimpressed. But I guess they also develop our toughness and character to bear a greater level of anointing, influence and, sometimes, platform. Blessings, Lynda!
Mary Fuller says
Thanks Anita! This confirms what the Lord whispered to me last Thursday. “You think this is weakening you but it is actually making you stronger!”
Anita Mathias says
Isn’t that amazing? Thanks, Mary!
LA says
spot on, Anita! Great post and wonderful thoughts! I’m glad that you do not see suffering as something God “gives” us, but rather as something that happens and we can either choose to allow God to help us carry the burden or not. It makes me sad when people feel like God makes bad things happen, or “lets” bad things happen – a God I have difficulty believing in. Like you, I prefer to see that in order to truly have free will, we, as humans, and all of creation, must tolerate evil and hardship. But seeing it as running the fells, that is something I hadn’t considered and is a beautiful metaphor and one I will use. My experience was swimming with weights on our legs and arms. Once we were freedom of them we swam faster and it seemed oh so easier! So I could totally relate to this post and the comparison you made. Thank you for sharing this…it gave me another way to see/experience suffering and I am so grateful for that!
Anita Mathias says
Thanks so much, LA.
Swimming with weights, wow!